


Get Some

by herainab



Series: Get Some, Wild Love [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dating, Doctor! Katniss, F/M, Midwife! Peeta, Minor Character Death, Moving On, Original Character(s), Widow, minor character abuse, single parent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-08-07 09:54:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 58,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7710604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herainab/pseuds/herainab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never expected I’d open this door again. I assumed I’d never need to reopen this door again. </p><p>After losing her husband, Katniss considers the thought of entering the dating scene again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Comes and Goes

**Author's Note:**

> This submission was for Round 11 of District 12 Drabbles over on Tumblr.

Willow stirs beside me. I admire my daughter who sleeps beside her father. Her very proud father. His grey eyes are wide and full of love, like the minute we brought Willow into the world seven months ago. He traces Willow’s full cheek and then smiles up at me. He is such a proud man and I feel my heart beat faster within my chest. I smile at my husband and kiss his lips as our daughter wakes beside us.

I look down at our daughter, letting her capture my finger inside her fist. I gaze back up at my husband but my stomach sinks at his side of the bed being empty.

_He’s not here Katniss. Remember he’s not here anymore._

I swallow the lump in my throat and lift up Willow to sit on the mattress and hold her little body up, supporting it with my arm.

A soft knock sounds at my bedroom door and I look up, smiling at Prim who stands with a cup of tea in her hand.

“Thom moment?” she asks me.

I nod, brush the tears away from my eyes and try my best to not cry in front of Willow.

Prim walks slowly towards my side of the bed, setting the cup down on my bedside before sitting beside me.

She wraps her arm around me, kisses my cheek softly and hugs me for a short moment.

“You’re still allowed to have these moments,” she whispers.

“I know,” I tell her. “You just think after this long, they’d stop.”

“I don’t think there is a set time to grieve. It’s different on everyone Katniss,” she reminds me, reaching out for her niece. “Some never heal.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and look back down at Willow.

She was so much like her father. I don’t know how long it’d take me to get over his death. She was a constant reminder of what I lost.

“You’ll get there one day Katniss,” Prim tells me. “Go get ready for work, I’ll get Willow fed.”

Willow happily goes with Prim, gurgling and cooing to her aunt. Prim has been there since the day she was born. She hasn’t left our side and has helped me transition from widower to single mother in the last 7 months.

Thom’s death was a shock.

One minute he was here. The next, he was gone. It was sudden. Out of the blue.

I still recall our last morning together. My last day of work before I went on maternity leave. We woke, made love, had a quick breakfast before we went off to work. He dropped me off, kissing me long and hard and waiting for me to step inside the hospital before he drove off telling me he’d see me at my parents that afternoon.

He never made it to my parents. He was in an accident on his way to their house. He helped to change an elderly lady’s tire and was hit in the process.

He was rushed to hospital, still breathing and unconscious but later died in surgery.

He was a husband and an expectant first-time father.

And it was ripped away from him in an instant.

He never got the chance to meet his daughter and Willow never got the chance to meet her father.

She arrived a week later, the day after her father’s funeral and I held her, imagining her father was right there beside me, admiring the thing he helped create, touching her little hands and cheeks.

He’d be proud of Willow and I know Willow would be proud of him, too.

“So I was thinking,” Prim begins to say as I enter the kitchen.

“Yes?”

“You should have sex again.”

“Excuse me?”

“You should try and have casual sex with someone.”

“No.”

“Katniss, I know you were devoted to Thom and imagined spending the rest of your life with him but I think you should look at moving on, maybe try dating again. You’re allowed to move on. He’d want you to.”

“Thom was my great love. I don’t want another love,” I tell her.

“I don’t mean go out looking for love, just try dating and have some fun.”

“Prim, I haven’t dated for seven years.”

“Now is a good time to start again,” she suggests.

“What, you want me to set up a Tinder account?”

“No, not that. We should go out on Friday night, we’ll take a whole group of us and see where the night leads.”

“Prim, I don’t want to,” I tell her, wiping Willow’s hands.

“Fine,” she sighs. “Just tell me, what you’d be looking for in a date, if you were to date again?”

“Prim…”

“Please, I just want to know.”

I roll my eyes. “Fine,” I say, throwing down the cloth. “Even if I was interested, I don’t think a human begin exists that could satisfy my extensive list of requirements for casual sex.” 

She rolls her eyes, she knew me too well. I was all about over-analysed lists and delusional fantasies that played out for weeks in my mind. “How extensive?”

“Firstly, he couldn’t be in medicine.”

“Understood.” She nods.

“He’d have to have no connection whatsoever to anyone that I know and no knowledge of my situation.”

“Of course.”

“He’d have to be reasonably attractive. Not overly handsome.”

“You would have to be the catch. Absolutely,” Prim agrees.

“He’d have to be here for one night only.”

“Nice. Age range?”

“Either 10 years older or 5 years younger. Eloquent,” I tell her. “And single of course. See? Impossible.” I reach down to unbuckle Willow from the highchair.

She ponders that for a moment before grinning. “Leave it to me.”

“Don’t.”

“Leave it to me, I’ll find you someone.”

“I told you just before I don’t want to date.”

“Katniss, you’re desperately undersexed. And you’ve thought about it. Stop lying to me. I think it’d be great to see you get out there again and have a bit of fun. You’re allowed to have fun. We’re all here to help you. We told you that.”

I groan. “Prim, don’t you hear my words?” I ask her. “Do you understand basic English?”

“Yes.”

“So no going off to find me someone,” I tell her. “Understood?”

“Understood,” she agrees. “Katniss, I just think though it’s a shame. You’re beautiful and you could have anyone, even if it was just for a night.” She smiles. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”

“Baby change over at Mom and Dad’s at 3,” I remind her.

She waves me off, kisses Willow goodbye and is out the door.

“Come on Missy Moo, we’ve got playgroup.”

* * *

“Hello?” I call out, entering Mom and Dad’s, Willow on my hip. I pass Prim and Linden wrestling in the front bedroom and ignore them as Linden quickly escapes from Prim and follows me out to the living room where Mom is.

Prim and Linden were twins, with Prim born first. The two of them had this weird bond that I didn’t seem to understand. The three of us were all close, sharing everything and anything with each other but Prim and Linden just seemed to get each other. They tell me it’s a twin thing, they spent 8 months in a very tight space in Mom’s uterus, and most of their childhood together. There were 4 and a half years between us and all that time they spent together as babies and kids has paid off now. I was kind of jealous of their relationship and they knew it.

“Hi Willow!” Mom coos, setting Hunter down on the ground.

“Oh, look, it’s my favorite little niece!” Linden coos, reaching out to take her from me.

“There you go.”

“Hello, little darling. Hello!” Linden greets her with a wide smile as he takes her from me. He adores Willow as much as he adores Hunter. He was the best father in the world and was so close to becoming a father for the second time, his partner Cressida due in 6 weeks.

 “Want a cup of tea?” Mom asks me.

“Can’t, I’ve got to get Haymitch and Effie.”

 “Why don’t you let me get them?” Linden suggests.

“You’ve got Hunter to take care of and Cressida will be home soon,” I tell him with a smile. “I have to go. Ok, darling. Bye-bye. Mwah! I love you,” I tell Willow, kissing her.

“Bye Mama,” Linden says.

“Bye darling.”

“Bye.”

I navigate my way through the domestic terminal and find the arrivals and departures board. They were flying in from LA after a week away on an Island in Vanuatu. Haymitch and Effie were my godparents, along with Prim and Linden. 

Their flight is delayed by three hours. I pull out my phone as a man brushes past me to see the board.

“Oh, God! You’re kidding me!” He cusses as he reads the board, seeing his departing flight delayed.

_“Hi, Hello,” Prim answers._

“Hi. It’s me. Listen, the flights delayed by three hours. But I might just wait here. I’m sure you’re Ok. You Ok?” I ask her.

_“Oh, God, yeah, we’re fine. She’s practically cross-eyed,” Prim tells me. “She’s gonna pass out after this.”_

I look at my watch and see she’s ready for her afternoon nap. “Ok. Well, there’s plenty of milk in the fridge, if you need it.”

_“Yeah. Rory’s coming over in an hour,” she tells me._

The two of them had a close friendship and Rory was finally back home, having broken up with his long-term girlfriend and the two of them were hanging out more.

“An hour? Great,” I say and find my way to an airport lounge.

_“Katniss, I don’t know what I’m going to say,” she admits to me._

“Don’t even think about it.”

_“As long as I don’t ask him about his ex.”_

“Oh, you’ve never had to plan what you’d say before,” I remind her as I find a spare seat on a lounge.

_“What do I wear – sexy, casual?” she asks me._

“What do you want out of this ‘hang out’? Sexy might give the wrong impression, as might casual,” I tell her. “It’s gonna be fine, Prim. It’s just dinner and babysitting.”

_“Is it, though?” she asks me. “What if it goes too well and we realize how perfect we are for each other? I don’t want to leave you and Willow. I like being your husband.”_

“You’re jumping to conclusions,” I remind her. “But you’re not my husband.”

_“I suppose I can still be your aunty.”_

“You can be an aunty.”

_“Yeah,” she says._

“Excuse me – do you mind if I…?” the guy sitting beside me asks.

“Pardon?” I say, turning to the blond man.

“Sorry,” he says, clearing his throat. “Sorry. Could you just mind my seat while I just go to the…?”

“Oh, sure,” I tell him.

“Thank you,” he says.

_“Oh, Willow’s just coughed up her food. I’ll call you back,” Prim tells me._

“Ok.”

I lock my phone and sink into the lounge, leaning backwards and close my eyes for just a second of peace and quiet.

“Not enough seats for that luxury,” a man says.

I open my eyes to see an older gentlemen looking down on me. “Sorry?”

“Bags belong on the floor,” he tells me.

“Oh, they’re not… they’re not my bags.”

“Selfish,” he scoffs.

“What?”

“You heard.”

“Hey. Hello. Hi,” the blonde says, making his way towards us to diffuse the situation.

“Don’t interrupt,” the older man tells him. He was dead-set on having his beef with me and me only.

Rude asshole.

“I’m sorry. That’s my fault. Please,” the blonde says, picking up his bags and offering the space to the rude asshole.

The older gentleman doesn’t offer an apology and takes the spot, turning slightly away from me.

“Um… Sorry. Do you…?” the blond gestures to the half space beside me.

“Oh. Sure,” I say and move to the side, giving him a bit more room to sit.

“Thanks,” he says and sits down beside me. Clearing his throat. “You delayed too?”

“What? Oh. Um, yes.”

“Where are you off to, did you say?” he asks.

“I’m here to pick up,” I tell him, trying not to look at him and show him I’m interested. “My aunt and uncle. They’re coming from Vanuatu.”

He smiles at me and I notice the blues of his eyes. “So, you’re from Vanuatu, or…?” 

“No, here,” I tell him.

“Yes, here. That’s right. Sorry. I was all set to move here, actually,” he tells me as I type out a message to Effie. “But, uh, not so sure after today.”

“Sorry, I’m just…” I apologize, typing out the rest of my message.

“Maybe I should just live in the airport, you know? Like Tom Hanks. Reinvent myself.” His text tone sounds just as I lock my phone and he reaches for it. “Did you send me a text?” he asks. “How did you get my number?” 

I chuckle nervously. “Oh, it’s the aeroplane people. Oh! Got some drink vouchers for my patience.”

“Yay, you.”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Well. I think it’s time to drink my bad day away.”

“It was nice meeting you,” I tell him as he stands up.

“Yeah, you too,” he says. “Um, I don’t suppose I could buy you a… free drink?”

“Oh,” I say, surprised. “Oh, no, I shouldn’t.”

“No worries. It was good to talk to you,” he tells me and bends down for his other bag.

_I suppose Haymitch could drive. And you’ve expressed enough breast milk to last all winter._

“Ok,” I call out. “What the hey.”

“Sorry?” he asks, turning around.

“What the… hey?”

“What the hey? Great,” he says. “I’m Peeta, by the way.” He holds out his hand.

“Oh. Katniss,” I reply, shaking his hand.

“Good to meet you.”

“You too.”

“Um, I think I saw one back this way,” he tells me.

We find a couple of chairs in a bar, Peeta having gotten us a drink each.

“Why does it have to be bad for you?”

“What?”

“Drinking. You know, alcohol. Everything that tastes good or makes you feel good is… is bad for you.”

“Oh, well, that’s not true,” I chuckle.

“It is, though. This, sugar, coffee, chocolate, smoking…” he lists off.

“What about sex?” I ask.

His eyes widen for a quick second, slightly taken aback before a slight grin crosses his face. “Ok, sure. Nothing wrong with sex. Unless it leads to love, you know, which leads to heartbreak.”

“Wow. You’re a real ‘glass half full’ kind of guy.”

“No. Yeah, you’re right. Sorry. Let’s talk about happy… things that happen to happy people,” he says and I chuckle slightly. “Do you know any?” 

“You never know – I might be a happy person.”

“You might be. Who knows? That’s the thing, isn’t it, about airports, you know? They’re like a holiday from yourself, like a limbo-land. You’re either just leaving your life or just about to return to it.”

“Mmm,” I say.

After an awkward pause, he speaks again. I’ve realized he’s a chatty man. “So, what do you do?”

I pause. I could become an avatar of myself right now. He doesn’t know me or what I’ve been through.

“I’m a… florist,” I tell him.

“Right.”

“What’s your favorite flower?” he asks. “I mean, you do have a botanical name I might add.

“The… rose,” I stutter. “You can’t go past roses.”

“Sure,” he agrees.

_Say something knowledgeable about flowers. You’re named after one, for gods sake._

“They’re the sexual organs of plants,” I tell him

_Oh, my God!_

“Right. So, in plant terms, you’re selling a shop full of penises. And you know, vaginas,” he says and I look on stunned. “Not enjoying the airport wine?” he asks, pointing to my near full drink.

“No. Yes. It’s… good,” I tell him, picking up my glass. “I just need to drink a bit faster.”

“No, no, no. I should slow down,” he tells me as I down most of the drink.

It’s been a year and a bit since my last alcoholic beverage. I need to slow down.

He continues on talking, before he heads off again for another refill for us both. He was good at holding a conversation, coming up with random topics and subjects that has me smiling, thinking and laughing as I listen to him.

He’s a well-traveled man who enjoys his history.

“Thank you.” I smile as he hands me my second glass.

“Your welcome,” he tells me, chuckling nervously. “You probably think I do this all the time, but I don’t.”

_Do what, exactly? What are we doing?_

“I’m actually more of your ‘don’t talk to weird, random strangers’ kind of guy.”

“Yes. Me too.” 

“Not that you’re weird. Or random. You know, I am. Oh, not to me. But to others,” he says and looks down. “I think I should speak less. You know? Be more mysterious or something.”

“Mmm,” I agree. “I think I should think less.”

“Well, there you go. I should think before I speak, you should speak before you think.”

“Yes,” I chuckle. “Cheers to that.”

“Cheers,” he says, smiling slightly at me.

* * *

“Why… why are you here for such a short stay?” I slur.

“Oh, uh, job interview. And I was appalling.”

“Appalling.”

“So bad.”

“Oh, that’s a bit harsh,” I tell him.

“Yeah. No. I think I might be carrying the leftovers of a very long and drawn-out break-up, the details of which I refuse to bore you with. I should remember to talk less, be more mysterious,” he tells me.

“Did I ask what you do?”

“I’m, an astronomer.”

My eyes go wide. “No, I did not.”

“Well, it’s not as sexy as it sounds. I just basically track orbital junk,” he tells me, downgrading his career as his text tone sounds again. A space theme tone. “Oh, god. I’ve got to change that tone.”

“Oh.”

“Oh’, what?”

“Flight’s cancelled. Airport hotel for me.”

“Oh, could be worse.”

“It could be, indeed.” He chuckles. “Still got enough for two more drinks.”

 “Oh, no. I shouldn’t. I think I’ve had plenty.”

“Ok.” He smiles and looks down at his phone. “Don’t suppose you want to come to the hotel?”

“What?” I ask.

“With me? No! Shit! What? Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. Can’t believe I said that! Um… Sorry, let’s pretend that that didn’t happen. That I didn’t say that,” he apologizes, going red. “I… I just wondered what it’d be like to say that. And then, you know, I did. And, you know, I’m not that type of guy. I’m not an asshole like that.”

I look up at him, shocked still from his question.

“So, you enjoy your drink, and I will go to the bar, and just have a quiet word to the mirror and get you another drink,” he tells me. I can tell he’s completely embarrassed and I chuckle nervously, smiling slightly as he walks off.

_Is that a completely ridiculous proposal?_

_He does tick all the boxes. He’s here for one night. He’s the right age. Single. Eloquent. No connection to anyone I know. No knowledge of my situation. He’s not in medicine. He’s attractive. Extremely attractive._

I look at Peeta at the bar as he sculls some water before picking up my phone to check if I have any messages.

_But was I ready for that next part. Ready to open up that door that I was sure was deadlocked and closed for the rest of my life._

He returns with another glass of wine, setting it down in front of me.

“Not for you?” I ask him.

“Um, after careful analysis, I’ve decided maybe I should go. Um… you don’t have to drink it, I just wanted to spend the credit.”

“Thank you,” I tell him. “It was really nice to meet you.”

He smiles. “Thanks for the chat, drink and the airport date.”

_This is your chance to have a holiday from yourself, do something you would never do, be someone you’re not._

“Ok,” he says.

“Ok. Hotel. Me,” I tell him at the same time.

“What?”

“We’re never going to see each other again.”

“No, we’re not,” he says, picking up his bags. “So…?”

I pick up my bag and phone and follow him, trying to act as cool as possible.

_Relax Katniss._

I stand in the distance as he goes to check in. I barely catch what he says to the attendant but see them point at me. I blush and look down at my shoes. Peeta turns to me, his bag in hand and smiles. I return a smile as he walks my way.

_Stop thinking._

He flicks the lights on to his room, holding the door for me.

“Are you going to come in or hang out in the hallway?” he asks me.

I shrug and step in, grinning slightly.

“It’s good,” he says, looking around the room.

It’s silent and I feel my heart pounding in my throat. He sets his bags down and stares at me with a smile.

“I think you are… so beautiful,” he tells me with a shy grin.

“Thanks,” I say. “You are too.”

“Thanks,” he says and walks towards me.

His lips are soft on upon mine. His hands are rough as they touch my hands. His tongue swipes against my lip and I open my mouth wider, granting him access.

Slowly, we sink onto the end of the bed. He undoes his shirt buttons. I take off my boots.

The fabric of his shirt opens, revealing the muscular panes of his chest. He’s broad shouldered and stocky. Fit. I run my hands down his shoulders and down his chest to the waist of his pants.

I undo his pants and let him take off my sweater and tank top. His hands trail over my sides to my hips and he lifts me, moving me towards the pillows, laying me down softly. He undoes the buttons and zipper of my jeans as he kicks off his own pants, letting them fall to his ankles and the shininess of an object catches my attention.

I pull away from his lips, looking down at his leg.

“Now’s probably a good time to tell you I have one leg,” he says, swallowing awkwardly. “Sorry if it’s too much for you but it’s who I am.”

I smile at him and notice his eyes trail up my legs and to the pink line of my caesarean scar on my lower abdomen, peaking out from my jeans he has undone.

I see he is thinking of what possible reason I could have a scar on this part of my body but he seems to pick up immediately.

He runs his finger gently over the healing scar and smiles.

“You’re a mom?” he asks.

I nod. The lump in my throat is restricting my words and airflow.

He presses his lips to the scar and I let my head fall back against the pillows. He’s gentle and soft with his touch and I let my legs sprawl apart further.

He tugs down my jeans, over my hips and off my ankles before me settles himself between my legs again. He kisses me, more passionately and I trail my hands down his back and to his backside, gripping the satin material of his boxers tighter and urging him closer to my core. He moans against my lips and snakes a hand behind my back to my bra.

I realize now that I have a maternity bra on.

“Can we just leave this on?” I ask him, touching my bra. I don’t know what sex would cause my milk to do and my nipples were in no shape to be seen. Willow had all but destroyed them with her two teeth she loved showing off.

“Sure,” he tells me with a smile and touches my lips again.

Our underwear is gone next and he’s back to kissing me. The feel of his length is foreign. I’d grown used to Thom.

Peeta… Peeta felt thicker and longer and I tense around his hips.

He looks down at me. “You alright?”

I nod, “It’s just…”

He smiles and kisses me quickly. “You just lay there and I’ll…”

He trails kisses down my chest and to my heat. The touch of his lips makes me jerk and reach down to grip his hair. I lean my head back, further into the pillows.

I never liked oral. Thom could never seem to get me off but I didn’t mind. He was good at other foreplay and getting me off that way.

I taste myself on his lips after he makes me climax. He kisses me and I moan against his mouth. He doesn’t realise how great he just made me feel.

He shifts his hips slightly and I feel the tip of him slip inside.

“Oh.. Oh…” I say.

“Condom. Sorry,” he apologizes and thirty seconds later he has a condom in his hand and rolled down his length.

He positions himself at my entrance and enters me as he kisses me, going in slowly, letting me adjust to him.

He stays still for a moment before he pushes further into me and I bite his lip. I peak my eyes open and see him smiling. He pins my hands above my head and plummets back into me. His lips leave none of my skin untouched. His tongue trailing the column of my throat, the dip of my neck, the valley between my breasts.

He was skilled; I’d give him that.

I open my eyes and turn my head to the side.

And instantly feel my stomach drop.

I stop the roll of my hips and watch Thom walk away.

“Katniss…?” Peeta asks, stopping his own movements to look me in the eye.

I look into his eyes and see the blue hues fill with sadness, with hate. His lips turn downwards in a slight frown.

“I don’t think… this one off, casual sex thing is for me,” I tell him. “It’s nothing to do with you.”

He swallows and nods, slipping out of me.

“Sorry.”

He looks into my eyes, cups my cheek gently and brushes his thumb underneath my eye. He wipes the tear that has fallen from my eye and I know he can sense there’s something more to the casual sex thing.

“I just want you to know how beautiful you are,” he tells me softly. “Thank you.”

I nod and kiss his cheek gently. I roll away from him, searching for my clothes. I place my panties into my handbag and slip into my jeans and sweater. I gather my boots and socks. A hand touches my hip and I look down at him. He kneels to be eye to eye with me and cups my face with his hand, leaning in to kiss me goodbye.

“Thank you Katniss,” he whispers. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he tells me. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

I leave his hotel room and walk barefooted to the elevator. Hitting the arrow to go down. Effie and Haymitch’s flight was due to land soon and I wanted to get as far away from here as possible. I sit on the floor of the elevator, putting on my shoes and socks and try to not think about what just happened.

_I’d never get over Thom._

Haymitch and Effie embrace me and they were none the wiser to what I just did with a random stranger, jumping in to chatting about their holiday.

“Katniss, you should go and visit. It was so beautiful and relaxing. Most of the hotels have kids club and nanny’s if you wanted days to yourself. You should think about getting away for a little while,” Effie tells me as Haymitch drives us home. “It might do you some good.”

I sit in the backseat feeling the guilt weighing down my body and the flicker of a smile catches my attention and I turn to see Thom sitting there beside me.

His sturdy hand covers mine, reassuring me everything is fine. Everything will be ok. And I frown instead of smiling.

And like the passing streetlights, he’s gone and I frown and stare out the window, watching taillights go past.

I walk into the familiar noise of my house. Noises are sounding from the laundry. A male and a female voice.

“Come on Willow, show Rory that smile of yours,” Prim coos to Willow.

I smile and set my bag down on the bottom step before walking towards the laundry. Prim and Rory are bathing Willow in the laundry tub. She’s got bubbles on her head and on her nose. I notice Rory is also covered in bubbles.

“Oh there it is. Who’s my clever girl?” Rory coos, leaning down close to Willow’s face to kiss her nose.

Willow gasps and gurgles and I see her smile widen. Her inquisitive eyes soon lock on me and she smiles even wider, reaching out for me.

Prim and Rory turn and smile at me.

“Hi Mama,” Rory greets me. “The vacationers home safe?”

“Yes,” I tell them and step into the room.

“Well, in that case, do you mind if we take off?” Prim asks. “Rory forgot to bring stuff for dinner and Linden’s pop up is just around the corner.”

“Go,” I tell her. “We’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” Prim says, smiling. She kisses my cheek and before she goes to leave she stops, studying my appearance.

She looks me up and down, staring me down and silently quizzing my appearance.

She leaves without saying a thing and I take over bathing Willow. I get her dressed and fed and in bed.

Prim stumbles through the door hours later, slightly drunk. I can tell by the way she navigates the stairs and I smile to myself.

I hear her kick her boots off and throw her bag into her bedroom before my door opens.

She falls face down beside me and I place my book down on the bedside table.

“I really like him,” she mumbles into the pillow.

“Do you?”

“Yes. And he really likes me,” she tells me and her face appears from out of the pillow. “He kissed me just then.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh Prim.”

“He’s so…” she exhales. “He’s Rory.”

I smile down at her. “Guess what.”

“What?”

“I had casual sex,” I tell her.

“Really?”

“And it was something.”

 “I’m so proud of you.”

She wraps her arms around my body and pulls me to lie beside her.

“Tell me about him.”

“It was casual. There’s nothing to say,” I remind her, despite the way the blue of Peeta’s eyes are embedded in my mind and I know I won’t forget him. “He was here for one night only.”

“Just like you wanted.”

She smiles and we both close our eyes.

“Prim?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fuck it up with Rory.”

“I’m not planning to.”

* * *

“How is she, Mom?” I tuck myself in the corner of the locker room in need of a few moments of privacy. My boobs were aching and my heart tender. I missed my daughter so much.

_“She’s wonderful. Sound asleep,” she tells me. I can sense the big smile she has. “What time do you think you’ll be finished?”_

“At the moment 4,” I tell her. “But you know, babies never come on time.”

“ _That I do,” she laughs._

“I think Prim is picking her up anyway,” I tell her and see Rue duck her head into the locker room and motion for me. “Mom, I’ve got to get back. I was just checking in.”

_“I’ll see you later.”_

“Kiss Willow for me,” I tell her and hang up, following Rue out.

 “A new patient in 201,” Rue tells me, handing over the patient chart. “First time Mom. 6 centimetres dilated and waters broken.”

“Thanks Rue.”

I read over the chart quickly, noting her name and anything else that could be a problem for her first delivery.

“You joining me?” We were now down a midwife, Cressida starting maternity leave yesterday with just three weeks to go before she had my niece or nephew.

“Right behind you,”  she smiles and follows right behind me and into the patient room. “Delly, how are you going?”

I look at my patient on the bed. An oxygen mask over her mouth. Sweat beading on her forehead. Her hair sticking to the sweat. Whatever make-up she was wearing is smudged and she looks absolutely exhausted.

“Hi Delly, my name is Katniss,” I introduce myself. “And this is Rue. We’ll be here to help you with this baby,” I tell her with a reassuring smile. “How close are the contractions Delly?”

She takes her time, Rue assisting her with her oxygen mask.

“8 minutes,” she breathes out.

“How long have you been in labor for?”

“6 hours. My water broke about an hour ago.”

“Well you look as if you’re on track. I just want to examine you real quick if I can?”

Delly nods her head and with the assistance of Rue, she gets herself comfortable. I do a quick examination of her cervix and tell her to relax.

“Everything is looking good. You're about 7 centimetres. Do you need anything else?”

Delly shakes her head.

“Is someone coming to join you?” She nods her head and I turn to the chart

The door opens and a man rushes in past me straight to Delly’s side.

“Sorry, I got here as quickly as I could,” he tells her.

I freeze at the voice of the man.

“Katniss, this is Peeta.”

He turns my way quickly, his blue eyes locking on me. They’re wide. His mouth is agape. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

_No. Not him. Anyone but him._

“It’s nice to meet you, Katniss.” 


	2. Speak Of The Devil

A knock sounds from outside of my bathroom stall.

“Katniss, are you alright?”

It’s Rue. Of course she’s checking up on me. I all but did the bolt as soon as I left Delly’s room, asking her to take over.

“Yeah I’m fine.” I tell her.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be out in a second.”

“Take your time.”

I suck in a few deep breaths, try to wipe the shocked look from my face before I appear in front of Rue. She had this certain scrutiny about her. She could look deep into my eyes and see what was wrong without even asking.

Even Cressida and Johanna were the same.

_You can’t deliver that mans baby. You can’t do it. You’re delivering that baby. The baby of the man you slept with three weeks ago. The father you met in an airport. You can’t do it._

Rue is waiting for me when I finally leave the stall and I go to the basin, washing my hands.

“Everything Okay?”

I nod. “Just Willow.”

“She’s in good hands.” Rue reminds me.

I nod. “I know.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

“What else?”

“I just see these loving families. These excited parents to be. The father’s especially and I just feel heartsick. I feel that heartache inside of my chest that Willow misses out on her father. That Thom missed out on that moment to be at my side while I had her. To hold my hand. To cut the cord. All those small things that he was looking forward to doing.”

Rue places a hand on my back. “Its unfair it happened to you guys. It really is. Life is so fucked up and unfair. Willow won’t have her father but she has your family. She has her tribe supporting her and loving her so much. She might not have her biological father but she’ll have her uncles, her grandfathers and cousins. She’ll never be without family. Hell, she’s even got us here.”

I smile at her and sniffle.

“She’s such a beautiful girl. She’s so happy. She’s so loved. You’ve done a wonderful job with her.”

“Thanks Rue.”

“Anytime.” She smiles. “Now, I’ve got patients to check up on. You take a minute.”

I smile at her and watch her leave.

_Fuck._

* * *

 Rue finds me shortly after in my office.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” She replies and comes and stands beside my desk, lingering.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her. When she lingered, I knew something was wrong.

“Delly.”

“Yes?”

“When I was admitting her earlier, helping her into her gown I noticed some bruises on her back.” She tells me.

“What are you leading to?”

“We have a duty of care for our patients. If we suspect there is something going on in their home life that could endanger them-”

“You think she’s a victim of abuse?”

“I think she is.”

_How much more can this man surprise me with?_

“Do you want me to go and have a talk with her?” I ask Rue.

“Yes. I don’t want this woman and baby to leave this hospital and end up right back here injured.”

“We can’t make a scene though.” I tell her. “If Delly denies it, we have to listen to her.”

“We can’t leave that man in the room with her.”

“Our main priority is getting this baby out. We’ll focus on the other stuff later.”

“Fine.” She says. “Just so you know, I’m not happy with this.”

“It’s the best thing we can do.” I tell her. “Where’s the father now?”

“He’s gone downstairs to grab something to eat.” She tells me.

“Not a word of your suspicions to anyone, Ok?” Rue nods.

I slowly pad my way towards Delly’s room, telling Rue to leave me to it.

“Hi Delly. How are you?”

“Fine considering I’m about to push out something the size of a watermelon.”

“You’re doing great.” I tell her with a supportive smile.

“That’s a load of bullshit. How would you know? I hate all of you doctors and nurses who say that when you haven’t been in this situation.”

I examine her, checking her dilation. “Me too.”

“What?”

“I was here about 8 months ago having my own daughter and I was so over the bullshit and congratulatory things that they were saying to me. Especially my OB.” I tell her, taking off my gloves and disposing them. “You’re at 8 centimetres.” I tell her and note it in her chart. “My OB was a male as well. I remember so clearly that I wanted to kick him in the balls to make him really understand the pain I was in.”

Delly smiles at me. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“It’s fine.” I tell her. “I think a lot of people are surprised I’ve come back to this after having my own daughter. They probably assume that I’d go into clinic work of pap smears and genealogical exams. More family friendly hours.”

“Did you want to?”

“I thought about not coming back at all but the bills have to be paid and I want to set my daughter up for the future.” I smile. “Maybe once she’s at school I might cut back but I can’t imagine myself not delivering babies. There’s just something about it.”

Delly smiles for a few moments before she frowns, a painful contraction overtaking her body.

“Here, lay on your side. I found that helped.” I tell her. I slowly help her roll onto her side and let her grip my hand as she rides out her contraction. “That’s the way, nice deep breaths.” I tell her, coaxing her to breathe through the pain. I look down at her back, exposed by the ties of her gown and notice the bruises on her lower back. Deep purple markings covering her back.

I let her regain her breath and help her roll onto her side before I ask her.

“They look like quite nasty bruises on your back.” I say. “What’d you do?”

“It’s nothing. I’m quite clumsy and hit my back on the faucets while I was getting out of the bath.” I notice the way she looks away from me. “Would I be able to get some more water?”

“Of course.” I smile. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Thanks.”

I leave her room and bump into a solid chest.

“Steady there.”

I look up and look into Peeta’s eyes. He goes to open his mouth to say something but I stop him.

“Sorry.” I apologise and move away as quickly as I can.

_This is just fan-fucking-tastic._

“Seeder, Delly would like some more water. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

I close myself into my office, sink into my chair and bury my face into my hands.

_How much worse can this day get?_

A soft knock sounds at my door and I look up to see Rue standing there.

“So, what do we do?” She asks me.

“We have to be professional.” I tell her. “Delly’s denied anything so we have to take her word.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Rue, we can’t stress Delly out anymore than she is. Our job is to ensure both Mom and Baby are healthy.” I tell her. “Okay?”

She nods. “Fine.” She says. “Her husband is real weird though. Real protective and such. Won’t leave her side or he answers her questions for her.”

“We can’t act on it if she doesn’t say.”

“I know.” She tells her, rolling her eyes. “You’ve got a new patient.”

I follow her out of my office and down the corridor to the front desk.

Prim stands with Willow strapped to her chest in the carrier talking to Seeder.

“My patient?” I ask Rue.

She smiles at me and goes behind the desk.

“Hi Lo-Lo.” I coo, reaching out to touch her cheek and grab her hand. “Hi my girl.” I kiss her temple a couple of times and inhale that all too intoxicating baby smell. “What are you up to?”

“Well, Aunty Prim just come and picked me up early from Nanny’s and we were on our way to see Rory for a coffee date.” She tells me with a smile. “You got twenty minutes?”

“We’ll be fine. No babies are going to be coming out anytime soon.” Seeder tells me. “Go spend twenty minutes with Lo-Lo.”

“I’ll be just in my office.”

“We know.”

I turn to Prim, taking Willow out of the carrier and kissing her cheek. “Come on sweetheart.”

“Dr Everdeen?”

I freeze at the voice, tense slightly and turn around to face Peeta.

“Sorry.” He apologises looking at Willow and then to me. “Um, are you busy?”

“Is it Delly?”

He scratches the back of his head slightly and frowns. “Um... I’ll speak to you about it later.”

“Is Delly alright though?” I ask, avoiding my eyes being gauged out by Willow.

“Yeah she’s fine. Just resting. I better get back in there with her.” He announces. The nurses look down at their charts, pretending they weren’t listening to the conversation. He looks at them quickly and then turns on his heel, heading back to Delly’s room.

“I bet it’s hard being in your position?” Prim says to me once we enter my office.

“What?”

“All the hot, expectant father’s who are at their wives sides.” I roll my eyes and take a seat in the chair, situating Willow across my lap and getting her to nurse. “I mean, it balances out, you look at dilating vaginas and get to perve, imagining what their lives are like, their sex lives especially.”

_Peeta and Delly probably have a great sex life._

“I bet that husband is hung as fuck.”

“Don’t swear around my daughter.” I remind her.

“Sorry, I bet he is very well gifted.”

_He fucking is._

“I’m kind of glad you’re not turned off of sex from the amount of traumatised vaginas you look at.”

“It just becomes normal. It’s just like looking at someone’s face.”

“That’s been severely traumatised.”

“Do you even listen to what you’re saying?”

“No.”

I shake my head and sink back into the chair.

“So, any other man you’re interested in sleeping with?”

“My night at the airport has done me for the rest of my life.” I tell her, not bothering to look her in the eyes.

I can feel her eyes study me. Read my face and try to look into my eyes.

I keep them down, focused on Willow and her squishy face.

“You’ve seen him again.”

“What?”

“Airport hook-up. You’ve run into him somewhere.”

“No I haven’t.”

“You have.” She claims. “And recently.” Her eyes go wide. “Tell me everything?”

“There’s nothing to tell. I haven’t seen him since that night.”

“Bullshit.”

“Hey!”

“Bull.” She corrects herself. “I know when you’re lying and you’re lying to me right now. I’m not leaving until you tell me everything.”

“There’s nothing to tell. And yes, you’re leaving to let me go back to work. I can’t leave early when I have babies to be born.”

“You’re not getting out of this that easily.” She smirks. “You’re telling me everything when you get home. I’ll get the chocolate and the wine.”

“Prim.”

“No, we tell each other everything.”

“Like how you and Rory are now sleeping with each other?” I challenge her.

“How’d you know?”

“The walls aren’t that thin remember.” She groans. “So, when did this start?”

“Last week.” She confesses. “We went to the movies and went back to his parent’s place. They were watching Axel for Madge and Gale.”

“Just like old times.” I chuckle. “At least he no longer sleeps in those Transformer bed sheets.”

“They were cute.” She laughs. “He still had them when he was 15.”

“I know. I crashed in his bed that weekend after Jay’s 50th.”

“Where did he sleep?”

I roll my eyes. “I recall you getting a hold of some rum and you and Rory were passed out in bathroom from drinking the whole bottle together.”

“We used to get into some mischief.”

“You did and you still do.” I smile, recalling our childhood that was loud, wild and just a little bit crazy. It was also so supportive and wonderful that I would never want a different childhood. It’s something I want Willow to experience with her way out there grandparents, aunties and uncles, cousins and extended family. “I miss those days.”

She leaves with Willow soon after. Willow sound asleep in the carrier.

“She’s milk drunk.” Rue exclaims when they pass them on the way out. “She’s getting cuter and cuter every day.”

I smile a thanks to her and head down to Delly’s room to do an examination.

Peeta has his back to the door and is looking out the window while Delly lies on her side with the oxygen mask on her face.

“How are we going Delly?” I ask her. She nods and I smile at her. “Hang in there.” I tell her. “I’m just going to see how much longer we have until you’re holding your new baby.” I glove up and do a quick examination of her. “Almost there. Do you feel the need to push yet?” I ask her. She shakes her head. “Contractions are much closer now. You’ve got one more centimetre to go and then we’ll start.” I smile at her. “Not long now.”

“How long did your labor last?” She asks me softly, removing the oxygen from her mouth.

I look at Peeta who has perked up slightly and turned his interest towards us. I smile at Delly and move to stand in front of her.

“My little girl was stubborn.” I tell her, laughing slightly. “Labor came on fast, real fast. I had gone away for the night with my sister and woke up having contractions. She brought me here and my waters broke on the way up the elevator. They got me down to delivery, hooked my body up to all the leads and ran a quick ultrasound and found my daughter had turned and was no longer head down. She was buttock first. She spent nearly the whole pregnancy head down and decided to turn the last minute. I told them that despite my wishes to have a natural birth to do a caesarean. For her safety mostly. So they rushed me to the OR and then she was here. My labor didn’t last long but it was still stressful, especially as I was being taken down for the C-section.”

“But she’s healthy now?”

I nod, feeling a lone tear fall down my cheek. “She is. Very healthy. And still very stubborn. She gets that from me.” I smile at her. “You’ll do fine. Baby is in a great position, heart rate is good. You’re ready.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ll be back soon. Hopefully, we’ll be ready to push by then.”

I make a quick exit, head for the balcony and suck in deep breaths.

_I could do this._

* * *

 “You’re ready to push now Delly.” I tell her with a soft smile. “Peeta if you’d like to go with Rue to put some scrubs on.”

He nods, following Rue out of the delivery room. “How are you feeling Delly?”

“Tired but ready.”

“Won’t be long now. Thought of any names?”

“A few. I didn’t want to know what I was having so I have a few options in case.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Once Rue and Peeta are back, Delly is already pushing. Peeta takes his place beside Delly, gripping her hand.

“We’ve got this.” He whispers to her.

She delivers a 9 pound baby girl 34 minutes later.

“He’s just gorgeous.” Rue announces as she takes the baby to ensure her vitals are fine.

I try my best to not study Peeta but his behaviour towards Delly is odd. Not like most new fathers. He’s standoffish. Doesn’t embrace Delly with kisses or hugs. He’s over the moon but not like most fathers.

Could he really be a wife beater? Could this gentle man I spent one night with, be a man who beats his wife and could possibly endanger his son. Could this man really be who he says he is?

I lied that evening, there’s a possibility he could have told me complete and utter lies to woo me. To get into my pants.

And how many women has he done this too? He had numerous condoms in his toiletries bag, is this common for him? Picking up airport women and taking them to an already booked hotel room to have his way with them.

I need to stop thinking about that and do my job and get the hell away from here.

Once Delly is stitched up and in a recovery room, I make my exit, Johanna ensuring me she’ll keep an eye out on them for me.

* * *

 “I’m home!”

“Out here.” Prim calls back. I kick my shoes off by the door and follow the smells coming out of the kitchen. She really had a knack for cooking and I loved having her around.

Willow is sitting in her highchair watching her aunt move around the kitchen, swaying her hips to the beat of the music.

“How was you’re day?” Prim asks me.

“Same old. Healthy babies and happy parents.” I tell her, snagging a piece of mushroom from the chopping board. “And yours?”

“Relatively calm. Who thought running Dad’s business would be this easy?”

“Want to trade?” I ask her, moving to Willow to kiss her and take her from the highchair.

“I don’t think I could ever do your job. I’d probably want to slap the women giving birth after my first day.”

I laugh and kiss Willow’s fingers. “How was coffee?”

She blushes. “Good.”

“Yeah?”

“He’s coming round later tonight.”

“Does he know I know?”

“No.”

“You’re not going to tell him?”

“Nope. He’s not that loud?”

“Pfft. He’s more vocal than you.”

“He’s just… enthusiastic.”

I snort and shake my head. “I’m going to change her diaper.”

We sit down for dinner together and I feed Willow as we go.

“So, you were going to tell me about your airport hook-up.”

“Like I said, there is nothing to tell.”

“Then what was that at the hospital this afternoon?”

“That was just a nervous, expectant father.”

“Who needed to speak to you about something other than his wife?”

“I can’t discuss patients with you.” I tell her.

“Yes and he’s not your patient. Who is he?”

“No one.”

_He’s the father of the baby you delivered. The father you slept with in a hotel three weeks ago._

“Just tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“You know, I’m not going to let this go.”

“Yes you are.”

“Just tell me.”

“Prim, there’s nothing to tell.” I groan, spooning some mushed veggies into Willow’s mouth. “I haven’t seen him since we met.”

“Then why was that guy today looking like a dog that’s been kicked? He had guilt in his eyes when he looked at you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Can we just leave it? They were just patients who welcomed their new daughter into the world today.”

“Fine.”

I tell Prim I’ll do the dishes after I bathe Willow and allow her some time to herself before Rory arrives.

Willow splashes, kicks her chubby legs and flails her arms in the water. She smiles and gurgles and I coo back at her, tickling her rotund belly and feet.

I get her dressed shortly after and hold her as I pack the dishwasher and put it on. Prim and Rory sit on the couch together watching a rerun of some sitcom and I sit with Willow on my lap, enjoying the peace and quiet and trying my best to try and put to rest today’s situation and my encounter with Peeta.

People’s lives were messy. People had their own secrets and lives in order to protect their loved ones. Some of them lived a double life to ensure their own sanity. Some didn’t keep it a secret and were open and honest.

But maybe there was more to it than I imagined. Maybe there was a story. Maybe they weren’t together. There was no wedding rings or tan lines. There was no loving embraces once the baby was born. Or maybe they weren’t an affectionate couple.

_Maybe I was reading too much into this._

“You’re think so hard you’re eyeballs are going to pop out.” Rory laughs.

“What?”

“She’s distracted. She won’t tell me why.” Prim informs Rory.

“I’m not, it’s just been a long day.” I tell them. “I’m going to get this princess to bed.” I smile. “Night guys.”

I allow Prim to kiss Willow goodnight and I take her down to the nursery to nurse her and get her to bed.

“I don’t need silly boys. I have you.” I whisper to Willow as she dozes off in her crib. “All I need is you and our crazy family.”

Her mobile spins slowly, the elephants dancing round and round and Willow’s chest rises and falls. I watch her until the elephants stop turning and go to bed myself.

A message awaits me on the screen from Johanna.

_Mr Mellark seemed disappointed you left. Told him you weren’t due back in until Monday now. I think someone has a crush on you._

I set my phone down beside me and cuddle my pillow. I didn’t need him or his drama. I already had enough drama and chaos in my own life, I didn’t need to be known as the woman he cheated with while his own wife was pregnant. I didn’t need labels. I had to protect Willow at all costs and my reputation at the hospital. It could not be good for me if they found out I delivered my one-night-stands’ baby.

* * *

 Monday morning, Cecelia finds me in my office dragging Marvel and Chaff along with her.

“We have a new staff member starting today.” She announces.

“Yes?”

“A midwife.”

“Cressida’s replacement?” Marvel asks.

“Yes.”

“Why do you look so nervous?” I ask. “It’s just a new midwife.”

“I need you both to treat them with the same respect as every other midwife.”

“Why would you think we’d treat them any differently?” I ask.

“It’s a male midwife.” Cecelia tells us.

“A male midwife?” We ask at the same time.

“Yes.” She notes. “Males can be midwives, it’s not uncommon.”

“Why do you think we’d have a problem with this?”

“Because, I know what you three are like.” She states. “I did a rigorous interview process to find her replacement. He is exceptional and I don’t want you three driving him away. Promise me, you’ll show him respect and decency.”

“We promise.”

“Good. He’ll be here soon, I want the welcome mat rolled out and to make him feel welcome.”

“Of course.” I say. “Why don’t we do lunch to welcome him?”

“Good idea. I’ll make a reservation for 12.”

_What’s the big deal? It’s just a male midwife._

I head down the corridor towards the nurses station where everyone is gathering, meeting the new midwife.

_No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Not him._

Be cool.

I take a couple of steps before turning on my heel and running away, hiding in a supply closet bumping into Chaff and knocking the boxes of Kleenex out of his arms.

“Hello.” He says.

“What are you doing in here?”

“Replenishing supplies.” He tells me, clearing his throat. “And you?”

“Do you know when you come into a room and you forget what you came in here for?”

“No you ran in here like a scared rabbit.”

“I ran in here like a brave rabbit for a strong reason to be in here.”

The door opens behind us.

“Bingo.” Marvel says. “They’re in here.” He calls out. “Cecelia thinks you’re hiding, forming some sort of I hate male midwives club.”

“We’re not.” I tell him.

“Come meet the new midwife.” Marvel tells us.

Chaff urges me out first and I suck in a deep breath before stepping out of the closet and making my way towards everyone.

He looks up at me, gives me an awkward grin and turns back to Johanna.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

I will myself to not fall to my knees.

“Peeta this is Katniss.” Cecelia introduces us.

“They’ve met already.” Johanna tells her with a smirk.

“Hello.” Peeta says.

“Hi.” I stutter out.

“You’re a midwife?” I stutter again.

“Yes. Sorry, I wasn’t allowed to say anything on Friday.”

“Did you just arrive here, I mean are you a local or from interstate?”

“Yes. Yes. I was in Los Angeles where I lived and now I’m here.”

“Chaff Jones, PHD.” Chaff introduces himself, throwing out his hand for a handshake.

“Katniss suggested we all go out to lunch together to welcome you.”

“Really?” Peeta asks.

“Yep absolutely.” I say. “I think it would be great to sit down and eat and get to know each other.”

“I made a booking.” Johanna tells us.

I nod. “Right. Well I have um… patients… babies… mother’s to check on.”

I reach for a chart from the desk and take a bundle and I walk off in the direction of wherever will get me the hell away from him.

“Prim.” I say into my phone.

_“What’s wrong?”_

“He’s here.”

“Who’s here?”

_“Airport hook-up.”_

_“What?”_

“He’s a new midwife here. He’s here. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Katniss!” Cecelia calls out to me.

_“I don’t know. I’ve never experienced-“_

“Who the hell are you talking about?” She demands, stealing my phone from me.

“No one.”

“She’ll have to call you back.” Cecelia tells Prim and ends the call. “What’s your deal?”

“Nothing.”

“You promised me you’d be fine. You shook his hand as if he had rabies and now you’re bitching about him.”

“I was just talking to my sister.”

“Because he’s a man.”

“No.”

“You have a gender issue with him.”

“I do not. I’m very pleased that we have a male midwife.”

“You sounded real please about it on the phone.”

“I am. I can’t wait to work with him.”

“Good cause you’re going to be working with him.”

“What if he realises here isn’t for him?”

“If you’re questioning my judgement-”

“I’m not.” I tell her.

“Hi.” Cressida says, Johanna appearing at her side to.

“Hello.”

“Katniss has a problem with our new midwife.”

“Oh, he’s why I’m here. I came for a look. What is your problem?”

“I do not have a problem with him.”

“That is a lie. What is it?”

“Cressida, as a pregnant woman about to give birth do you have a problem with a male midwife?” Johanna asks her.

“Anyone who is willing to get this baby out is welcome.”

“See.” Johanna states.

“Once and for all. I do not have a gender issue with Peeta.”

“Is he hot?”

“No. God. No.”

“Mean.”

“So he’s not hot?” Cressida asks.

I awkwardly laugh. The three of them shoot me a strange look.

“What’s wrong with you?” Cecelia asks.

“Nothing.”

“Well I find him attractive.” Johanna states with a small grin.

“Good for you.” I tell her.

“No you’re not, you’re going all weird.”

“Do you find him repulsive?” Cressida asks.

“No, I don’t find him repulsive. I just don’t know why we have to rate the hotness of all the midwives.”

“What are you two talking about?” Chaff asks.

“Whether Peeta is hot.” Johanna tells him.

“It’s an inappropriate conversation.” I tell them and lock myself into my office.

_This can’t be happening to me._

* * *

 I crash into a sturdy chest that almost sends me flying. He catches me before I fall and I throw his hands from my arms and walk away from him.

“Katniss!” He calls out.

I walk further.

“Katniss, can we talk?”

I chose to ignore him, entering the female toilets and locking myself in the cubicle.

“Katniss, we’re going to lunch.” Johanna announces as she enters the toilets. “Get your arse into gear.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“You better go. I want to make Peeta feel welcome and I’m getting the vibe you’re not that interested in welcoming him.”

“I’m just not feeling myself today.”

“Bullshit.” She states. “We’re leaving in fifteen.”

I groan, burry my face into my hands and think of every possible excuse there is to not show up to this lunch.

She bangs on the door. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 “Do you two know each other?” Marvel asks once we’ve sat down for lunch.

“What?” Peeta asks. Out of all the places to sit, he’s been placed beside me.

“It just seems like you two know each other.” Marvel states.

“Well um…” Peeta begins. “I was in on Friday?”

“What for?”

“A birth.”

“You’re wife?” Johanna asks.

Peeta looks down at his menu, looks towards me and shifts in his seat slightly.

“No.”

“Girlfriend?”

“No?”

“Than whose?”

“My sister-in-law.” He tells us quietly.

_You’ve judged this poor man before you’ve even known the story. You’ve labelled him as a wife-beater, a cheater and a liar. Mom and Dad never raised me like this._

“We all just assumed.” I reply. “Sorry, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Thanks.”

I sigh and set my menu down. “I’m just going to go and powder my nose.”

“Weak bladder.” Chaff says as I walk off in search of the bathroom.

I lean my head against the wall and close my eyes.

I take back everything I said. He’s not a home wrecker. I’m not a home wrecker. He’s not a wife beater.

He’s just Peeta.

Cressida rounds the corner and stands behind me.

“I’m on to you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you. ” She smiles. “You’ve got the hots for Peeta. It’s Ok.”

“No.”

She smirks. “I’ll let you off the hook for now.” She leans closer to me. “I’m on to you Katniss.” She whispers and walks into a cubicle.

“I really thought I shot myself in the foot.” Peeta tells us once we’ve had lunch.

“I was delighted by you.” Cecelia tells him with a smiles.

“I still thought I blew it.” He chuckles.

“I’m going to take this up.” I tell them all, reaching for the bill.

“Cressida needs to pay yet.” Marvel tells us.

“Where is Cress?” Johanna asks.

“Still in the bathroom.”

“What, she fall in?” Johanna asks, getting up in search of Cressida.

I pay the bill just as Peeta comes for me. “Cressida’s has gone into labor.” He tells me.

* * *

 “We’ve called Linden for you.” I tell Cressida once we get her situated in her hospital bed.

“This isn’t supposed to be happening.”

I run the Doppler over her stomach, listening to my niece or nephews heartbeat. She’s clearly in shock.

“We’re well underway.” I remind her. “You’ve dilated fast.”

“I’m booked in for a caesarean.” She tells me.

“You can have a caesarean if you like.” I tell her. “The scar line is strong though.”

“Is the baby in a good position?” Peeta asks.

“Yes.”

“What do you want to do?” Johanna asks her.

She looks around confused. Her last labor was quite traumatic. She delivered Hunter at only 30 weeks.

“We could do a trial labor and monitor you.”

“I think I’ll feel better when Linden gets here.”

“Cressida, which ever way you decide to give birth it’s not going to be the same as it was for Hunter.”

“Hey, baby’s heart rate is great, you’re going to do great. And if you start to feel like something is wrong, even if its intuition, let me know straight away.” Peeta tells her.

She nods, sniffling.

It’s not long after Linden arrives that Cressida delivers their new baby.

“It’s a boy.” I announce to my family waiting outside the delivery room.

Prim drags me away. “That’s him.”

“What?”

“Airport hook-up. That’s him. You’re new co-worker.” She says. “But he was just in on Friday with his wife.”

“Not his wife.”

“Girlfriend?”

“Sister-in-law.”

“What? Is there some weird thing going on there?”

“Don’t know. Haven’t asked.” I say. “But it never happened.”

“Have you had that discussion?” Prim asks.

“No, I’ve been avoiding him all day.”

“What are you waiting for?”

Peeta steps out of the delivery room and looks at my family and then me before he heads off in the opposite direction.

“Go.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.” I tell her.

Linden calls me back into the delivery room once Cressida and Linden have had some time to themselves and their new son, and I follow him in. He takes a seat beside Cressida on the bed and she cradles their new son in her arms.

“Um, Kat, there’s something um…” He stutters, looking at his wife and then back to me.

“We have a favor to ask.” Cressida says. “It’s not really a favor.”

“Ok.”

“It really is Ok to say no.” Linden says standing up. “But with your blessing, we’d like to call the baby Thomas.”

A sob escapes my body, I quiver and bite my lip.

“We’re so sorry.” The new parents apologise. “We’re sorry.”

“No I love it.” I tell them sobbing. “I love it.” I tell them, embracing my younger brother tightly before taking my nephew into my arms.

“Welcome to the family Thomas.” I coo to him.

* * *

 “I thought I might find you in here.” I hear Dad say. I’ve escaped from the family to my office for a few minutes alone.

I wipe my eyes and turn to face him. He’s brought Willow in for me. “When I’m the happiest is when I miss him the most.” I admit sniffling. “I don’t know how to live. I don’t know how to hold on to him. I don’t know how to live without him.” I cry.

“Oh sweetheart.”

“It hurts so much.” I tell him. “The hurt is precious to me. I don’t want to stop hurting.”

“I know.” Dad says. “It’s your grief my darling and fuck anyone who tells you how to do it.” He says and I smile at him. “But knowing Thom and the kind of man he was, I don’t think he’d want to you say no to being happy.”

He pulls me to his chest like he used to when I was a child and holds me tightly. His sturdiness and smell comforts me. He squeezes me, kisses my head and holds me until he’s sure I’m fine.

I leave with Willow, carefully pushing the stroller down the hallway and towards the elevator. I pass Peeta at the desk and he just smiles at me.

“See you tomorrow?” He asks hopefully.

I nod, offering him a slight smile and continue on my way.

_There’s no avoiding him now._


	3. Providence

“So, have you spoken to him?”

I startle awake and nearly jump off the bed at the sound of Prim’s voice.

“What the fuck, Prim?”

She sits cross-legged over me, unfazed by her actions. “So have you?”

I slip back down underneath the covers and scowl, pushing her away from me. “No! Now leave me alone to sleep in peace.”

“Hate to break it to you but you have a baby. Your beauty sleep has to wait.”

“She’s not awake.”

She shakes her head. “She’s been awake for close to an hour now. Have you chosen to actively ignore her? Your own flesh and blood?”

“Piss off Prim.” I tell her, kicking her away from me. “I didn’t hear her crying over the monitor.” I yawn and take in her appearance. She looks exhausted. Dark circles under her eyes. Her hair still in the curls she styled the night before. Her eyes are still lined with the black eyeliner and the eye shadow. She smells of a mix of her perfume and there is the slightest trace of male cologne. “You did the walk of shame home.” I gasp and see her bite her lip. “You owe me details.”

“I’ll grant you those details if you let me shower first?” She says. “I made you breakfast.”

I couldn’t deny her help. She’s done everything to help me since Willow arrived and I can’t get mad at her after everything she’s done. I can’t really get mad at my whole family, my tribe for their support and love.

I let her go off and shower and I find Willow in her play centre in the living room with The Wiggles on. The skivvy wearing entertainers has captured her attention and I eat my omelette and read the paper while I wait for Prim to join me.

I nurse Willow when Prim appears dressed in sweats and a shirt I suspect is one she’s stolen from Rory. She nurses a strong coffee and sits beside me on the couch.

“So you didn’t come home last night.” I smirk as I set Willow back on the ground.

“Straight to the hard hitting questions.” She sighs. “You should have been a lawyer instead of an obstetrician.” She sips her coffee. “No I didn’t.”

“What’d you and Rory get up to?”

“Dinner and we went out dancing.” She tells me. “Hazelle and Jay were away for the night so we went back there… and you’re a grown woman who knows exactly what happens after that.”

“You did the sneak out though, why?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“You two have been dating for almost two months now. It shouldn’t be weird to stay the night.”

“I just feel like I’m still 18 years old and sneaking out and back home before dad left for work.” She admits to me. “And when he stays here he always does the early sneak out.”

“Prim you’re almost 25 years old, it’s time to realise you’re not a teenager anymore and have a talk to Rory. What are you two?” She shrugs. “Prim.”

“He’s just gotten out of a serious relationship. I don’t think he’s ready to date or commit.”

“Stop assuming and ask him. It’s best to be honest with each other than skirting around it, making it awkward. Talk to him, find out where he is.”

“He just got out of a two year relationship. He was planning on proposing to her. He was committed.”

“But it ended. Just go to coffee with him or something. Have a chat.” I say. “I can see how much you like him. You’re alive and you’re glowing. He makes you happy. You make each other happy. It can’t hurt to find out.”

She sighs and nods her head.

“I’ve got to jump in the shower.”

Prim and Willow are on the floor side by side when I step back into the living room dressed and ready for work. Prim is reading a book to her and Willow is gnawing on a toy, following along with her aunt.

“I’m off.” I tell her. “I should be home by 6 at the latest.”

She nods and waves me off. “Bye Mommy.”

“Bye.”

“Oh and please speak to your airport hook-up. It’s been two weeks since he started.”

I groan internally and scowl as I leave the house, climbing into my SUV.

I had actively been ignoring him since he started. And since I was on part time hours, our paths hardly crossed and we hadn’t been assigned to any cases together.

But I still knew he was keeping tabs on me. Watching my every move and step.

He all but gave up trying to speak to me and we did the awkward dance around each other.

Thank god everyone else was too involved in their own personal lives that they didn’t notice us actively ignoring each other. We shared only few words and pleasantries, I provedto Cecelia I didn’t have a problem with a male midwife, and we got on with our jobs.

I hear he is a damn fine midwife though and has proved to be a favourite on the floor. Chaff and Marvel are constantly fighting over him so it leaves me the option of not having him on my case.

I take the elevator up to the fourth floor and run into a solid chest as I step out, my eyes on my phone.

“Oh shit. Sorry.” I apologise looking up at Peeta as I fumble to catch my phone. “S-sorry.”

And there was the constant running into each other in the hallways, locker room and everywhere else.

“No problem.” He says and steps into the elevator, going downstairs without another word said.

_You couldn’t make it anymore awkward, could you?_

He had felt the cold shoulder I had given him and I could see the flicker of hurt in his eyes each time I brushed him off.

 _“Can’t you just be nicer to him? Can’t you say hello or ask how he is going rather than being so cold?”_ Prim asked me after she did a drop in last week.

She witnessed the awkwardness between Peeta and I and wanted to know why I was brushing him off.

_“It never ever ever happened.” I reminded her._

_“But does he know that?”_

Maybe today I’d get over myself and speak to him.

“Morning.” Johanna greets me, handing over my charts for the day.

I do a quick flip through my charts and take a look at the delivery and surgical chart.

_Midwife assisting Dr Everdeen – P. Mellark_

I don’t show the initial fear bubbling inside of me. I had a whole day worth of work to be done with him. Two elected caesareans, an induced labor and whatever else was thrown our way. Anything could happen in 8 hours on the labor and delivery ward.

I set my bag in my cubby and go to change into my scrubs.

The door to the locker room opens and I hear someone curse and I pull my shirt off of my face to see who it is.

And it’s Peeta who stands with his back to me, staring up at the wall.

“It’s fine Peeta.” I tell him. Despite standing there half naked in just my panties and a white tank top that is so worn and see-through. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.” I mumble.

He mumbles to himself and I throw on my blue scrub top and my pants. “You can look now.”

He whips around and heads for his locker, changing into his own scrubs. I braid my hair and tie my sneakers to my feet.

“Mrs Donaldson is all prepped and was just being taken to theatre when I came in here.”

“Can you tell me about Mrs Donaldson.” I ask him. I knew all about Mrs Donaldson. I had been present at her last birth. I just wanted to know if he did his research on her.

And I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I liked the sound of his voice.

“Mrs Donaldson, 34 years of age. 36-weeks gestation. This is her third pregnancy – her second multiple. She’s had one natural birth and an emergency caesarean when she was 31 weeks pregnant. It was a twin pregnancy. She had complications with her previous pregnancy resulting in the loss of twin B shortly after an emergency caesarean. She suffered heavy blood loss.” He repeats to me and I feel a chill run up my spine as I remember that day clearly. I remember the tears I shed afterwards in the quiet corridors outside her room as she rested, not having woken up from the surgery that almost cost her her life. “This pregnancy has been closely monitored and the twins are reading at a healthy size and weight. The cord is in a good position and the babies are ready to make their entrance into the world.”

I smile to myself hearing him speak. I nod and turn around to face him. “Good. How is Mrs Donaldson?”

“She’s nervous. Very anxious.”

“Which is common, especially after her last pregnancy.” I tell him. “I’ll see you down there.”

He nods and I leave the locker room to head to the scrub room. I tie my scrub cap on and wash my hands. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I wanted her to be happy, to hold her twins in both her arms and laugh and cry with happiness. I knew how nervous she was after she found out it was twins and I assured her we’d do everything we could to make sure she had two healthy babies.

It was smooth sailing in the end and she delivered a healthy boy and a girl and I watched her and her husband cry with happiness hearing both of their healthy cries in the operating room.

I congratulated them both, stitched her up and assured her they’d see their twins shortly. I stepped out of the room as the orderlies had arrived to take her to post op and I stripped myself of my soiled mask, gloves and gown to scrub out.

I had five minutes to grab something to eat and check in on my other mom who had been induced. She was slowly dilating, having just gotten past 6 centimetres and would be at it for a few more hours. My next elected caesarean was ready to be taken up to the OR and I did a quick check in with her.

This was her first and I could see the nerves she was feeling. She had wanted a natural birth but decided on a caesarean as her daughter had an abnormality with her heart picked up at 28 weeks. It resulted in appointments with cardiologists and heart surgeons to determine what was wrong. A blocked ventricle would leave her daughter unable to breathe on her own and with the decision of three doctors, we advised she book in for a caesarean to lessen the stress on her baby.

“How you feeling Millie?” Peeta asks her, touching a hand to her elbow quickly.

“Nervous.”

“You’ll be fine.” I assure her. “We have all the best doctors in there waiting to take her straight to the NICU.” I smile at her. “We’ve got this.” She nods nervously and I squeeze her hand in support. “I’ll see you in there, Millie.”

I step out of the room just as the team arrives, getting Millie prepped and taking her fiancé to get ready for the delivery.

Peeta stands beside me as we scrub in. Millie has been brought in and the surgical nurses and anaesthesiologist preps her for surgery. She’s draped, a curtain separating her from where I’ll operate. Her fiancé at her side in issued scrubs. The NICU team is on standby with a crib in the corner. The heart team and a paediatrician are also on standby waiting to swoop in and intubate the baby the second I’ve delivered her.

I deliver Millie’s daughter and show her off really quickly to the new parents before I cut the cord and she’s whisked away. She’s intubated and connected to monitors and wires before she’s placed into the crib and rushed away with her nervous dad following behind.

I notice the tears in Millie’s eyes as I glance at her and quickly work at suturing her up.

“She’s beautiful Millie.” Peeta tells her, sitting down beside her. “She looked real strong too. She’s going to be the strongest kid on the playground.”

“She didn’t cry though. She was blue as well.”

“Most babies are blue after caesareans.” He tells her. “And not all babies cry loudly when they enter the world. Some just grizzle or whimper. Any sound is music to our ears. It lets us know we delivered a healthy baby and lets you know the wonderful job you did at carrying them and bringing them into the world.”

“She got a 7 from me Millie.” I tell her. “She was getting some color about her when I handed her to the paediatrician and she made a grizzle. She let me know she was healthy.”

“Do you think she’ll be fine Katniss?” Millie asks me.

“She’s going to perfect.” I tell her.

Peeta sits at her side while I finish stitching her up and I can sense that he has put her at ease.

“Do we have a name?” Peeta asks her as I announce she’s right to be taken to recovery.

“Abby.”

“She’s definitely an Abby.” Peeta tells her with a smile. “We’re going to take you down to post to rest for a little while and hopefully we’ll have an update and some photos of your precious girl.”

“Thanks Peeta.”

We strip out of our OR attire and scrub out together in silence.

“I was going to get a coffee. Would you like one?” He asks me.

I’m taken aback by his offer. “Yeah. Sure. Thank you.” I tell him, throwing the paper towel into the trash.

I watch him walk out the door and kick myself for being such a bitch to him for the last two weeks.

* * *

By the end of my shift, Peeta and I have delivered eight babies. Have performed two caesareans and assisted with five natural births.

“Shit.” I say looking at my watch.

“What’s wrong?” He asks as we exit the last delivery room. My induced mom had finally just delivered a baby boy.

“It’s almost 8. I said I’d be home by 6.”

“The joys of being an obstetrician.” He laughs. “Babies never come on time.”

“No they don’t.” I reply with a slight laugh as I step into the locker room. I was in terrible need of a shower, some food and a massage. Doing a mixture of births left me tense and sore and I missed having Thom to rub my shoulders and back free from the knots.

I rub the back of my neck and roll my right shoulder in hopes of ridding the pain.

“You alright?” Peeta asks me, obviously noticing the pain I’m in.

“Yeah just seven births really takes it out of you.” I tell him with a laugh and take a seat in front of my cubby. “The last time I had this many births in one day was when I was about 34 weeks pregnant with Willow. It was the same type of day but 7 natural births, twins included as well. Thom was so concerned I would overdo it, especially with all that was going on with my personal life. I think that night I had the best nights sleep I’ve ever had.”

Peeta laughs. “What does a good nights sleep even consist of?” He asks me chuckling.

I shake my head. “I don’t even know anymore. It’s probably the last time I’ve slept a full 8 eight hours.”

He yawns and takes off his scrub top and I advert my eyes from his bare chest. “Your daughter doesn’t sleep through the night yet?” He asks, throwing his shirt into the hamper.

“Nope.” I tell him, looking into his eyes rather than anywhere else. “She doesn’t have a proper night time routine yet. So I can expect I’ll still be up until midnight trying to get her to sleep tonight.”

_You’re having a proper conversation with him. Prim would be proud of you._

“I’ll make sure I have the coffee ready for you tomorrow.”

I smile. “Thanks.” I change into my street clothes, throwing my scrubs into the hamper and packing my bag. I should say more to him. Talk to him about that night but I don’t want to leave this interaction sour. So I leave it there.

“Have a nice night Peeta.”

“You too Katniss.”

* * *

“So you didn’t say anything to him about your hook up?” Prim asks me once I get home.

“Prim we literally had a day full of deliveries. There was not even a chance to go to the toilet.” I tell her as I zip Willow’s onesie up.

“I’m sure there were plenty of opportunities.”

I roll my eyes and go to the rocking chair by the change table. Prim had thrown a naked Willow to me the second I stepped through the door and demanded to know what happened. She had been bathing Willow before I got home and the second she heard my keys in the lock she whisked my daughter from the laundry tub and ran towards me to find out about my day.

Where I had other questions to ask her. She got in before me.

“No, we went from birth to birth and were never really alone.” I tell her as I try to get Willow to nurse. She was fighting me. Her routine was out by ten minutes and I knew I’d be in for a long night of her fighting and battling. “Come on Lo-Lo.”

“I’m sure you did speak to him though.”

“Yes, about work things.” I reply wincing as Willow bites my nipple. “Willow.”

“She knows you’re lying.” Prim chuckles.

“You are mean.” I turn down to Willow and she latches on and I grit my teeth and bare the pain of dealing with the trauma she has caused to my nipples. “I am not lying. I’m telling you the truth.” I say. “Tell me about your day then.”

“We watched The Wiggles and Peppa Pig. We went and saw Hunter and Tommy. Had naptime together. Went for a walk to the park and saw Axel. Rory came over…”

“And what did the two of you get up to?”

“He was bringing me coffee… which… um…” She tells me sheepishly.

“Please tell my daughter was asleep?” I ask her.

“Of course she was.”

“You two are like animals.” I shake my head. “Did you two talk?”

“Um… no.”

“So you’re getting up me for not speaking to my almost one-night stand and here you are having sex with a man you’re supposed to be establishing the definition of your relationship with. A man who I might add you snuck away from this morning.”

“I told him you texted me.”

“Who’s the liar now?”

“Sorry… I just couldn’t deal with the look of pain in his eyes.”

I roll my eyes. These two were like a seesaw. Had been all throughout their teenage years. I got dizzy just watching them go back and forth to each other and to other partners. Our parents quickly learnt to not question it and accepted whomever they brought home each week.

And now, they were back at it again. This time, they seemed to be involved with just each other but had not established what they were and what they truly wanted from each other.

Rory was coming out of a long-term relationship that brought him back home to San Francisco. And Prim was just Prim. She had casual dates and flings but hadn’t had a long-term relationship since she was 19. Maybe they both needed a bit of fun and familiarity to realise how perfect they were for one another.

When I go to bed myself I see a text on my phone from an unknown number. I open the message and see a photo has been sent along with a few words.

I look at the picture and am confused why I’ve been sent a photo of a newborn baby girl.

_I think this trumps a full nights sleep though. P._

I smile at the picture and realise it’s Peeta’s niece Maisy who I delivered just over two weeks ago. And the look on Maisy’s face is enough to let me know how much she adores her uncle as she beams a smile. Her little blue orbs are open wide and I can see she has a tiny dimple, just like her uncle, when she smiles.

 _That look trumps everything in the world._ I reply.

* * *

“I’m on call for tonight, remember.” I tell Prim.

“I know, you wrote it on the calendar and put it in my phone.” She replies back.

“I just don’t want you making plans in case I get called in.”

“Mom and Dad said they’d watch her if need be.”

“Sorry, I know.” I tell her. “It’s my first on call shift since going back to work.”

“And we’ll be fine.” She reminds me. “Willow and I are cool. We love hanging out with each other. Don’t we baby?”

I smile at her and place a pair of Willow’s tights on her pile of washing. I check my watch and see we’re due to leave soon to get to Mom and Dad’s for our usual Saturday night dinner with The Hawthorne’s and Abernathy’s. The house was full of adults and I knew in at least ten years time we’d be overrun with kids.

Willow happily entertains herself with The Wiggles as I grab her bag, ensuring everything is in there. Prim drives and we listen to Willow babble from the back seat.

Prim carries Willow inside and I follow the two of them inside, walking in with Madge and Axel. Axel and Willow were born a week apart, Axel born the day before Thom passed away. Willow born the day after her father’s funeral. Together Madge and I were navigating parenthood together. The only difference is that she had her husband by her side. Mine missed out on this opportunity.

“I can’t get over how big he’s gotten.” I exclaim, looking at Axel and tickling his legs that are twice the size of Willow’s.

“You remember how big he was when he was born. He’s got the Hawthorne height. He’ll be six foot by the time he’s in elementary school.” She laughs, tickling Axel’s side. “Won’t you buddy?” He giggles in response to his mother and we both laugh along with each other.

It was great having someone else going through the first time parenthood thing at the same time. And especially with my closest friend. She had been there since preschool and we had seemed to experience the same life experiences together, such as dating, falling in love, moving in, engagements, promotions, weddings, pregnancy, birth and parenting.

She was just one person who made up our tribe and I loved having her to fall back to when it got all too much. Especially those first few months after Thom’s death.

The babies are passed around the family gathering and we settle in on the back deck.

“So what’s going on with Prim and Rory?” Madge asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. “Their usual teenage drama bullshit.” I tell her.

“Thought so.” Madge replies eating a cracker. “Can we expect them to be seeing someone else next week?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so. I think this time they might actually try to work their shit out.” I sigh. “If they stop being so stubborn.”

“So we should just sit back and wait to see if there is an official confirmation?”

“You’ve got it.” I nod and take a sip of my water.

Dad has the barbeque going and we all resume our usual Saturday night postings of socialising with everyone, asking about each other’s weeks, days, compliment hairstyles and outfits.

Haymitch brings Willow over to me, flying her through the air like a plane and I listen to her giggles.

Haymitch doesn’t admit it, but he loved Willow the most out of his great nieces and nephews. I had a feeling it was due to the close bond the two of us had while I was growing up and how that has seemed to carry on to Willow. He was a father of five but his kids were nowhere near ready to be parents.

So he had his nieces and nephews to spoil like his own until he finally became a grandfather. Him and Effie were constantly dropping hints to their children but they weren’t ready just yet.

“There’s your Mama.” He tells Willow, lowering her to my lap. “When will I be seeing her for her next round of shots?” He asks me. He was Willow’s GP and very pushy when it came to Willow’s health and vaccinations.

“We’re booked in for next Friday.”

“Good work sweetheart.” He smiles. “You know she’s my favourite patient.”

I roll my eyes. “Yes I do.”

He grins, pats my shoulder and walks on off.

He was my mother’s twin brother.

We had a long history of twins in our family. My youngest cousins were twins. Prim and Linden were twins. I had forever told Prim she’d have twins when the time came.

I watch my phone light up from the table and I do a quick glance to see what the notification is for.

“Who is Henry Gloss?” Madge asks me.

“Why?”

“He just commented on photo we’re in together.” She tells me and I watch her scroll through her Facebook. “He’s the guy from the pool!” She exclaims. “You’re talking to him?”

“No, just Facebook friends.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Nothing else.” I tell her. Hoping to douse the discussion.

“I’ll take your word for it… for now.”

Henry and I were new friends who had happened to meet at the pool a couple of months before after a baby swim class. A mix up with towels brought us to speaking for the first time and then a run in the next afternoon on my way to dinner with Effie. He added me the morning of Tommy’s birth and after much contemplation, I accepted that night before I went to bed realising it was time to move on. Time for me to finally be happy.

And now, I didn’t know if I should feel weird about him creeping and liking everything on my Facebook page.

Out of curiosity I see which photo he’s commented on and to see whom else will be getting this notification.

I open the notification and see its of a party shot from my days before Willow was born and one that Johanna had recently reposted, two years to the date as a throwback photo. I recall that drunken night. Thom was out of town for Gale’s buck’s weekend, Cressida was pregnant with Hunter, Madge had had a fight with Gale regarding his buck’s weekend, Prim was having her own boy drama, Cecelia had just endured a messy break up and everyone was in a funk. Rue and Johanna suggested a night of bad pop and alcohol.

And it was a night. I got us kicked out of the first club we went to for pestering the DJ to play 90’s pop from my phone. We ended up at a lesbian bar. I got into a fight with another woman for pushing in front of us at the bar. We were left alone before Johanna got us kicked out twenty minutes later for antisocial behaviour. Prim ended up locking us both out of the house after looking for souvlaki at 4am. With Madge passed out inside my house, not answering her phone I attempted to break in through a window. A cop on duty caught us, thinking I was breaking into someone else’s house and we were arrested and taken to the police station. And since I didn’t have any ID on me to prove it was my house it wasn’t good.

They finally got onto Madge the next morning and Madge and Johanna had the pleasure of coming down to the police station the next morning to confirm I lived there but not without taking a photo of Prim and I in lockup and sharing it on a group text.

It was humiliating being locked in a cell that smelt of stale piss and vomit for four hours, and the guy who arrested me apologised profusely not wanting a lawsuit against him for wrongful arrest. He also realised that I was the doctor who had not long delivered his son.

Johanna had found the urge to re-share the photo on Facebook with a caption; _Remember this night? Let’s do it again sometime._

And now Henry was commenting on it. _I bet there is a great story behind this photo._

I remember the look on Thom’s face when I told him about our antics. He had tears rolling down his face and that smile that was stretched so wide across his face. He laughed so hard. It helped the humiliation that I was feeling disappear and realise the funny side to that whole experience.

I close out of Facebook, feeling myself getting choked up over that memory from two years ago and set my phone back onto my lap.

“You Ok?” Madge asks me in a quiet whisper.

I nod, brush the few tears from underneath my eyes and smile at her. “Yeah, all good.” I tell her and quickly start talking about milestones Willow has reached in the past week, changing the subject as quickly as I can.

She smiles and begins to tell me her experiences from this past week. I ignore the Facebook message and focus on spending time with my family. My tribe. Whoever was messaging me could wait.

We eat, gorging ourselves like usual and I’m interrupted when my phone rings, bringing my night to an end.

“Got to go?” Mom asks me.

I nod. “Babies don’t come on time.” I remind her. Something she’s said to me my whole life. And now something I repeat to her. Life goes on. The job has to be done. That’s what I’ve learnt since entering the medical field. Your life gets put on hold. You can’t stop your work life for anyone. You become their beck and call always. You dedicate your life to your patients. You revolve your life around them. Especially in my career. You have Mom and bub to take care of and babies don’t run on time.

I kiss Willow and everyone else goodbye and head on out the door. Dad would drop Prim and Willow home after.

Rue greets me at the elevator with a chart.

“Penny Welsh, 35 weeks gestation. Labor is coming on quickly and there is some bleeding. Peeta is in there with her now. I think the placenta might be tearing away.”

And when you get these patients. Emergency cases. You’ve got to put your life on hold.

“Get a team on stand by.”

“All ready done.”

“We might have to rush her down to surgery right away. Deliver her baby. Get the NICU on standby.”

I enter the consulting room quickly to see Peeta looking over Penny’s stats. She’s pale and the look of pain and distress is in her eyes.

“Hi Penny, what’s happened?”

“I don’t know… I started bleeding… Contractions started.”

“Did you have a fall or anything?”

She nods her head. Her husband confirming she had a slight fall that afternoon.

I go to Peeta’s side to read the charts that are coming through.

“It’s not looking good. Baby is in distress.” He whispers. “She’s contracting and the placenta is not good.”

“You’ve done an ultrasound?” I ask him and he nods to confirm, a grim look on his face. “We have to get this baby out now.” He agrees. “Penny, we’re going to take you down to theatre right away and deliver your son.”

“But I’m only 35 weeks.”

“He’ll be fine. We’ll have the NICU staff there ready to assess him and give him any additional help he may need.” Peeta tells her. “We’ve got this. Katniss will be there to safely deliver him and ensure you’re safe as well. And in about 15 minutes you’ll be seeing your son.”

She cracks a smile as the theatre team enters, readying her. I follow Peeta to the locker room to change into our scrubs and to rush to theatre to scrub in.

I deliver her son as quickly as I can. He’s healthy and loud and it relieves the parent’s fears. And my own. I smile at Peeta who smiles back at me and I turn to getting Penny’s bleeding to stop, get her stitched up and out of the woods and ensuring her future fertility is saved.

* * *

 

“Hey.”

I turn to see Peeta heading towards me as I stand outside Penny’s room. She’s asleep. Out of the woods and the mother of a healthy boy.

“Hi.”

“How is she?” He asks.

I turn to look back through the little window to see her sound asleep. “She’s sleeping.”

“She’s had a rough night.”

“But good things come out of rough nights.” I remind him. “How’s Harry?”

“Harry is a champion. The paediatrician is really happy with him. He’s stats are good. He’s great.”

“That’s good.”

We stand in a silence for a few moments, looking in on Penny.

Tonight could have gone a lot worse. We could have had the worst possible outcome.

But we didn’t.

And I internally put that down to Peeta being there.

“You were good today.” I tell him.

“So were you.” He replies and I can feel his smile bearing into my back.

I don’t know how long we stand there for but real life comes calling.

“You heading home?” Peeta asks me.

I chew my lip, wondering if I should head home to be with Willow and Prim or if it’s best for me to stay here for the night, maybe catch up on some paperwork or try my luck at a sleep before the next baby comes.

It’s already after midnight and knowing my luck there will be at least one or two more babies born tonight.

“I go home and I’ll be called back.” I smile.

“Or you stay and have no deliveries.” He adds.

“I’ll try my luck here.” I tell him. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

He smiles and walks through the doors to the front desk and I continue on walking to my office for a moment of peace and quiet.

_P – So you’re staying back to perve on hottie midwife?_

I roll my eyes and set my phone down. I didn’t want to play into her teasing so late at night. I decide to let it go and focus my attention on the papers in front of me.

My phone chimes again and I groan. “Prim.” I mutter as I pick it up.

But it’s not Prim. It’s Henry.

_H – So, the further I got, the further I saw into your life. Saw who you were. Saw you’re story and I didn’t want to post sorry for your loss right after great dance moves. I just wanted to say, I know how it feels. I’ve been down that road. And by the looks of it, it occurred around the same time as my own loss. I am genuinely sorry Katniss, losing a partner, the other half that made up your child isn’t easy. Just know if you ever need anything, you can speak to me. I’m sure you have your supporters and friends but if they haven’t been through it, it’s hard to appreciate the help they give. All my best, H._

I ponder what to write, what to respond with but I’m truly speechless. I had no idea, assumed he was just a single father who had full custody of his toddler but there’s more to the story and I realise, I shouldn’t just assume anything.

I look up from my phone and to the doorway, I know Peeta is out there somewhere. And I know I owe him an apology. Owe him the truth. But is now really the time? Have I missed the mark to apologise.

He hasn’t approached me. Told me the truth about his personal life.

Maybe we’re just colleagues. Colleagues who hooked up at the airport hotel. Maybe that’s all we’d be. We’d just have that and nothing else. Maybe we wouldn’t be the colleagues who engage each other in our own personal life, invited each other for drinks or exchanged our weekend stories on a Monday morning over coffee.

_H – And I was also wondering if you’d like to go out to dinner with me when you’re free? I understand the whole arranging a babysitter and work rosters but I think it’s time we live a little and have a night of just being adults. Sitting in a restaurant and having an actual conversation while actually enjoying a beautiful meal. Let me know when you’re free and we can arrange something. Night._

A knock sounds on my office door and Peeta stands there. “Hi, we’ve got a new mom coming up.”

I nod at him. Work first than my own life. There were Mom’s and babies to take care of before thinking about stuffing my face with creamy carbs and indulging in a night of adult company.

I lock my phone, pocket it and follow Peeta out to meet our new Mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in updating. Time has been not in my favour these last few months and I've been in my own writing funk but now, hopefully I'll be more tentative and give you guys some more of Peeta and Katniss and their complicated lives.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and I hope to have an update within the month. 
> 
> Come on find me on Tumblr - Herainab


	4. Boys In Town

_“Who’s got a date tonight.”_ Prim squeals down my phone, almost deafening me.

“It’s not like that.” I remind her, finding a quiet corner to hide in while I speak to her. “And I don’t want a big deal made out of it. It’s just casual.”

_“You’ve still got a date tonight.” She reminds me. “You need to get excited. You’ve got a date. With a man.”_

“It’s be scheduled and postponed for a month now, so…”

 _"That's what makes tonight important. Dates have a shelf life. Over the next few hours, you're going to get a bit do_ _ubtful.”_

“I’m always doubtful… Doubtful that he’s going to run for the hills or get scared off if I say something.”

_“No, happy thoughts.” She beams. “The thing is you have been quite low-key about this Henry thing.”_

“No, I haven’t.” I tell her. “I just don’t think I can cope with any big reactions.”

_“Tonight is a definite date so when I’m at Mom and Dad’s am I allowed to tell them?”_

“No, this is what I want. Say nothing but if it comes up you can be honest.” I tell her and she agrees. “Do you understand it’s about keeping it casual? Signify your understanding?”

_“Though it’ll hurt me to do so, I will try to follow that plan.”_

“Bye Prim.” I tell her, hanging up.

My phone rings a second later and I answer.

_“You’ve got a date tonight.” She squeals._

* * *

 “Why would you give your psycho ex-girlfriend your work phone number?” I hear Johanna ask.

“I didn’t – but oh, look! This is a hospital, maybe she picked up a phone book.” Peeta replies. I shake my head. The two of them had nailed the crazy sibling like banter right away and did make those long shifts go quicker.

“Everything Ok here?” I ask as I appear at the desk.

“Yep.” Peeta confirms.

“His psycho ex-girlfriend keeps calling and brainless II here…”

“Ok, she’s not… if you keep calling me ‘brainless II’, I’m going to report you to my supervisor.”

“I am your supervisor for the next month.” She chuckles, throwing a screwed up ball of paper at him. “And according to me, you are brainless. Nearly as brainless as this one here.” She says, pointing at me.

“Hey, don’t drag me into this.” I say, throwing my hands up to defend myself from their argument.

“Very…” He says and the phone rings. “Victor Wing, Peeta speaking.”

“Is it her? It’s her, isn’t it?” Johanna asks as he shushes her. “Oh, great. Yes, send her up. Thanks.” He speaks. “Er, Jena Holmes.”

“Er, her husband’s…” I begin to say.

“Special forces, Afghanistan.” We both say at the same time.

“And she is in labor.” He tells me handing me her chart.

“Get her into Room 331.” I tell him.

* * *

 

“Everything’s looking really good. You’re dilating fast.” I tell her, snapping my gloves off.

“Ok, Jena, I’m just going to take your pulse, OK? So you just relax, as much as you can.” Peeta tells her calmly.

“Is there someone you’d like us to call, Jena?” I ask her, coming to stand beside her. “Someone you’d like to be here?”

“No, I don’t… I don’t have anyone. I thought Jamie would be home by now, but, um…”

“Peeta and I are going to be right here.” I tell her with a supportive smile, squeezing her hand.

* * *

 “Hi.” I say, answering Prim’s call.

_“The Everdeen’s know about the date. There is a general aura of happiness for you. Cat’s out of the bag, so I urge you to consider how information flows from this house to your place of work.” She tells me._

“Yes. Oh, thank you for the heads up.”

_“Also, as an FYI, I haven’t yet found a sitter for Willow, but I’m working on it. Don’t worry about it – just proceed as per usual, and leave it with me. Goodbye now.” She hangs up immediately._

That’s my push to go and tell everyone I have a date.

“Hi everyone.”

“Hi.”

“I have something to tell you.” I announce. “Could I have your attention, please?”

There’s a silence. An awkward silence as everyone ignores me.

The desk phone rings and Peeta jumps to answer it. “Victor Wing. Yes, he’s right here. Just a second.” He says, passing the phone to Chaff.

“Chaff Jones, PHD.” He answers. “Ah, no. Yeah. Ok, bye.” He says, putting the phone down. “I just agreed to babysit your daughter tonight.” Chaff informs me.

“What?” I ask her.

“Because you’ve got a date!”

“Date?” Johanna asks.

“No big reactions, please.” I tell them with a nervous laugh. “Yes, I do have a date tonight, with a man called Henry. I met him at the swimming pool. He’s a widowed parent too. We bumped into each other a couple of times and then we got chatting. Anyway, we’re going to have dinner tonight at a nice restaurant without our children. I will take your questions.”

I can’t help but notice the weird look on Peeta’s face and I can’t tell if it’s a look of hurt or jealousy.

“That’s great.” He says though, being the first to speak.

“Yeah, good on you.” Rue tells me with a supportive smile.

“Good for you girl.” Johanna smirks. “Time you get that fine booty of yours out there again.”

“Thanks.” I tell them as they go off to their own thing again.

I head back to my office to catch up on some paperwork, filling in time before Jena delivers.

Henry’s name appears on my phone and I answer his call, unable to hide the smile that spreads across my face.

"Hello, Katniss."

"Hi, Henry."

“Um, I’m really sorry but Preston has a temperature, and he’s not settling.” He tells me. “Yeah, I’m not going to be able to make it tonight.”

“Oh, no worries, I understand.”

“Yeah, I can’t, you know, just leave him to take off you know? I’m all he’s got.”

“No, of course not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s Ok.” I tell him.

“And, um, I’ve been thinking… I’m not really in a position to start anything.” He tells me.

“Ok. Yeah, sure.” I reply, unable to form any other word.

“It’s just…”

“No, I understand, you don’t have to explain.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“Yeah, we…”

“I’ve got to go.” I tell him.

“Ok.”

“I’ll see you.” I stammer and end the call as quickly as I can.

_That’s it. Date’s off. The whole thing is off._

“Katniss?”

“Yep?”

“Jena’s getting close to the pushing stage.” Peeta tells me.

“Yes.”

“You Ok?” He asks.

“Yeah. Yep. Let’s go and be with Jena.” I tell him, whipping my jacket off.

Peeta and I appear in Jena's room, each going to her side to rub her back as she experiences those final contractions.

“Keep breathing, that’s a girl.” I tell her, rubbing her back as she leans on her hands and knees, rocking backwards and forwards slightly.

The room phone rings and Peeta runs to answer it.

“Hang in there.” I tell her.

“Birthing suite, Peeta speaking. Yes? Brilliant, thanks.”

“Lie back for a moment, take a rest, Ok?” I tell her, helping her onto her back. “What was that?” I ask Peeta.

“A surprise.” He answers, dragging the table to Jena’s right side as Johanna enters the room.

“You’re going to need this.” She tells him, handing him a laptop.

“Thank you.”

"Hi, Jena. How are you doing?" Johanna asks.

“Good.” Jena replies.

“Good. See you soon.” She tells her, exiting the room as Peeta sets up the laptop Johanna just delivered.

“Take a breath for a moment, Ok?” I tell her. “Is birth getting in the way of your media consumption, Peeta?”

"No. No. No." He tells me as the Skype dial tone sounds from the computer. "Here." He says turning the laptop to face Jena. "Jena, recognize anyone?"

I see a young man appear on the screen in an army uniform. “Jena. Hi.”

“Jamie.” She sobs as she sees her husband. “Jamie.”

I look up at Peeta smiling as I shake my head. I can't believe he organized this. Pulled this off for the happiness of his patient.

* * *

“Push.” I tell her twenty minutes later. “Now stop.” I tell her. “Just one more push for the shoulders.”

“Bit of encouragement, dad.” Peeta says to Jamie.

“ _You can do it, sweetie."_

“That’s it, that’s it.” I tell her as the shoulders are passed. “Oh, here she comes.”

"Yes, good work Jena." Peeta tells her as her baby daughter screams as I lift her up for her.

“Hello.” I greet the crying girl with a wide smile, bouncing her slightly as Peeta grabs a towel.

The newborn is laid in her mother’s arms and I congratulate her on the job well done as I brush the baby’s head.

The look on her husband’s face is priceless and Peeta and I watch on in delight.

Despite the hundreds and hundreds of births, this moment, the first moment of bonding between the parents and baby is always the greatest. This makes coming to work worth it when you see those tears of happiness, the cries of joy and the millions of embraces and kisses.

And I feel privileged being a part of this moment. Being that person that helps begin the next stage of their lives. Whether it be the beginning of their family or the welcoming of the newest member of the family.

* * *

 “How’d you do it?” I ask him as we walk back from lunch through the park. Peeta carries a whole watermelon in his arm, having bought it from the fruit market for a dollar.

“Luck really.” He tells me. “I got in touch with the chief clerk at the base but Jamie was on patrol. So they patched me through to a bank with a computer and internet connection.”

“But how did you know how to contact a military base in Afghanistan?”

“I made some calls. I may have pretended to be Jena.” He tells me with a goofy smile. “But don’t ask me to do the voice for you.” We laugh. “So, where are you going on your date tonight?” He asks.

“Oh, that’s not happening.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. He’s backed out.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” I say. “I’m actually pretty relieved.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I was ready.” I tell him. “Anyway…”

“Anyway, who cares?” He says as we approach the hospital. “His loss.”

Peeta and I had become closer the last month. More patients and time together has us spending lunches, dinner or sharing a coffee between a quick five-minute break in the locker room or my office.

The topics are kept simple and safe and don’t really touch base on our personal lives at all.

We don’t broach the subject of our airport hook-up or the fact that he showed up at the hospital with his sister-in-law who had some pretty horrific bruises on her back.

We just keep it simple because we knew we’d speak when we were ready.

Even though it’s been three months.

* * *

 The door to the locker room swings open with Chaff, Johanna and Peeta entering. Chaff eating a piece of watermelon.

“Peeta filled us in.” Johanna announces with a sympathetic smile.

"Sorry." He apologizes.

“So, your date’s fallen through.” Johanna says. “What better thing to do than come to a good, old-fashioned happy hour lesbian night?”

“Yes, well, not me, of course. I will still be babysitting Willow.” Chaff reminds me.

“Ah, no, thanks. I just… I want to go home.”

“There’s a night tonight called Kittypunch.” Johanna adds.

“Kittypunch?" I ask.

"He's coming. I'm going. Enobaria is joining us too. What could be better?" She tells me, indicating that Peeta will be tagging along.

“Don’t give her a choice – the decision’s been made.” Chaff says. “I’m watching Stella too.”

“We’re going, no arguments.” Johanna tells me.

"Thanks, guys." I tell them and sigh as I turn back to my cubby to finish getting ready to leave.

* * *

 “Crap, we’re early. There’s food, we can eat, I suppose.” Johanna tells us as we approach the bar. “I am warning you, as the night goes on, you may see lesbians.”

“Not a problem, I’ve spent heaps of time in lesbian bars.” Peeta announces and we giggle. “Wait, that’s not what it sounds.”

"You hang out in dike bars?" Johanna asks him.

“Well, my cousin and my high school best friend are gay. So all three of us are way into women.” He begins to tell us. “Wait… that’s not…”

“Quit while you’re ahead.” Johanna tells him as we continue on, the three of us laughing.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Peeta asks.

“Yes.” I reply, slightly annoyed.

“If you’re not…”

“No, I am. I’m good. Let’s go in.”

Peeta buys us a round and orders some food for our table. Enobaria is on her way, dropping Stella off at my house with Chaff and Willow for the night.

“Peeta, hand over your phone.” Johanna demands.

“No.” He says, shoving it in his pocket.

“What do you want his phone for?” I ask.

“So he’s not tempted to take calls from his ex.”

“I’m checking to make sure Delly is alright with Maisy. She’s not well.”

“Liar.” Johanna smirks. “You’ve been avoiding someone’s calls all day.”

“What’s her name?” I ask, breaking the rule of no personal questions.

“Morticia.” Johanna quickly says.

“What?”

“Maddie.” Peeta clarifies.

“Tell her.” Johanna urges.

Peeta sighs. “We were together, five years. Met in college. We moved in together. We bought a dog. You know, all the things you do. And I thought we were building something together. And then, one morning at breakfast… she tells me she’s leaving me. She didn’t love me and she never did.” He tells me. “And she kept the dog.”

“Yeah. He also happens to be leaving out the part where she cut him off from all his friends, put him down in public and generally tried to crush his spirit and control every part of his life. And now she’s calling him saying, ‘I made a mistake’. And he’s thinking of getting back with her. Don’t deny it.”

“She said she’s had time to think, Ok?” Peeta defends himself.

“Nup, you’ve gotta cut off all communication. You gotta learn how to be mean to a girl.” Johanna tells him.

“What, like you, Jo?” I ask her.

“Yeah. I know how to be mean to a girl. I’m good at it.” She tells me. “Here, practice on Katniss.”

“Mmh? I’m not going to be mean to Katniss.”

“Nuh, brainless, tell him you want to break up with him.”

“No.”

“No, come on, we’re doing him a favor. Just look him in the eye, repeat after me. Peeta, you’re an arse-brain.”

“Peeta, you’re an arse-brain.” I say half-heartedly.

“Peeta. Stop calling me.”

“Stop calling me.” Peeta echoes back to me. His eyes are filled with guilt and an apology.

“You don’t deserve me, I don’t love you.” Johanna says.

“You know, tonight is supposed to be about making Katniss feel better, not worse.”

“Shit, sorry.”

“Oh, it’s OK. I’m Ok about the whole date thing. I’m disappointed.” I say, trying not to look at Peeta. “But the thought of starting something scares me.”

Johanna pats my back and goes and greets Enobaria who is sporting a large rounded stomach. The two of them were due within a matter of weeks now. It was Enobaria’s turn to carry, as Johanna carried Stella. Both babies were conceived from the same sperm donor, making the babies biologically half-siblings. They used Johanna’s egg for Stella and Enobaria’s for the impending baby.

Peeta buys us another drink and we all chat as the bar fills with more and more people for the Friday afternoon happy hour.

Peeta’s phone sounds halfway through Enobaria telling us a joke.

“Oh, it’s Maddie.”

“Don’t answer it.” Johanna tells him.

“I can’t not answer it.” He says.

“Then stand your ground. Disengage. Tell her you don’t want to speak to her anymore.”

"Hey, Madelyn." He answers. "Hey, hey, listen, I can't talk right now, I'm just having dinner. Uh, with friends. From work.” He tells her before looking at us briefly. “Yes, they are female friends. Uh, I know. Listen, I’m gonna call you when I get home. Ok? Ok, bye. Bye.” He hangs up and clears his throat. “See, that was firm.”

“Yeah, if I was her, I’d be pretty happy with the way that went.” Johanna tells him and I fight the chuckle escaping my mouth.

* * *

“Peeta’s great isn’t he.” Enobaria says as Peeta buys us another round of drinks. “He’s the type of man that sometimes makes me question if I’m truly gay.” She grins.

“All my life I wanted a brother and there he is.” Johanna adds.

“Yes, he’s… he’s great.” I stammer.

“Like today, he made a bunch of humiliating phone calls so that guy could see the birth of his child from the other side of the world.”

“He did?” Enobaria asks. “That’s awesome.” She smiles widely.

“By anyone’s standards, Peeta’s a man from the top shelf.”

My thoughts go to that night three months ago. Could I possibly reopen that door again or has that moment passed and we’re just friends. It is good to have a male friend though.

“Ok, Lemon lime bitters for Katniss. Vodka tonic for Johanna and a glass of H2O for the Mommy to be.” Peeta announces, setting our drinks in front of us. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

“So Peeta, I don’t think Jo has told me why you moved here to Panem.”

He chews his lip for a second, fidgets in his seat and I can see him pondering. Thinking if he should spill the gossip.

“He hasn’t actually told us.” Johanna tells her wife. “But you don’t have to if you don’t wish to. We’ve all got things we don’t like to talk about.”

“Bullshit, you don’t keep a secret at all. You’re honest and open about everything.” I tell her laughing. “And you don’t respect our own privacy either.”

“I so do. I give it enough time before I start asking questions.”

I shake my head. “No, who was the first person to find out I was pregnant?”

“Me but that’s only because I’ve been around enough pregnant women to know when they’re pregnant. You had it written all over your face and I just knew.”

“I hadn’t told Thom yet that I thought I was.”

“That was your fault.”

“I wasn’t going to call him and tell him over the phone, I wanted to tell him in person that I thought I might be pregnant.” I sigh. “I wanted him there when I took the test.”

“There’s nothing special about pee on a stick.” She reminds me.

I sigh, feel my eyes water. “But I wanted it to be special because it was our first.” I say. “Little did I know that it’d be…” I choke on the last few words and can’t bring myself to finish the sentence. Johanna’s hand is on my back and Enobaria and Peeta reach across the table for my hand.

“Hey, it’s ok. I didn’t spoil it though.” She reminds me with a smile. “I kept my promise. Did the usual friend thing of buying the test while you had a mild freak out. I was the support while your husband was away for work. I even held your hand while we waited for the plus sign. In the end, you surprised Thom when he got home the next night with the baby book and his baby blanket his grandmother made him and you two had hot celebratory sex for the whole evening.”

“We did not.”

“You two so did.” Johanna smirks. “You came into work the next morning with that glow and walking a little jagged.” She announces and Enobaria giggles.

"Oh please shut up." I tell her. "No one wants to hear about my heterosexual sex life. Especially during a lesbian bar night."

Johanna shrugs her shoulders. “Sex is sex. We’re all grown ups. It’s natural. You’re lying if you deny it.” She tells me.

I roll my eyes, sip my drink and watch the love eyes and footsies happening between Johanna and Enobaria.

“You two go home and get it out of your system.” I tell them. “Pregnancy hormones are solid at this point. So go and make use of your time alone and the time you have left before you’re covered in baby.”

They race out the door, giggling like school girls and Peeta and I awkwardly laugh.

“Cheers.” Peeta says.

“Cheers.” I reply, clinking my glass with his beer. “Would it be rude if I were to leave?” I ask him.

“No. No, not at all. I’ll walk you out.” He tells me. “You probably want to get home to Willow?”

I nod and smile at him. “I just want to be with her tonight.”

He smiles and finishes off his beer with a skull before letting me lead the way. The sun had set already and I just wanted to go home. Being in a bar full of drunken lesbians was not what I had planned for the night. I was planning on creamy carbs and conversation.

Delly lived a few blocks away from me and he offered to walk me to my door, ensuring I got home safe. It was at least a thirty-minute walk and the night was too nice of a night.

“Thanks for leaving with me again.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me.” He reminds me.

“I’m sorry if I wasn’t much fun tonight.”

“It’s alright.”

I laugh with him. “You’d think as you get older, relationships would become easier – they just don’t.”

“No, no, there’s more doubt and less courage.”

I nod and we continue to walk, passing girls wearing heels way too high and have their boobs almost falling out from their too-tight dresses and tops. There are men who follow these girls, ogling and drooling and hoping they'll have a chance to see more.

But that time has passed for me. No more skimpy dresses and too high heels. No more attention from men and boys. No more free drinks and cheeky kisses in dark corners of clubs and bars.

“Do you miss this part of your early adulthood?” He asks me as we round the corner.

"Yes and no." I tell him. "It was nice to get the attention and feel pretty and beautiful. To be complimented and offered drinks and to dance." I say. "But, I met Thom, my study was becoming quite serious and I wanted nothing more than Friday nights in with pizza, a good movie, sweats, and Thom."

“I know what you mean.” He agrees. “I didn’t mind the going out bit but it was the stage when mates would get too drunk and you’d be the one making sure they didn’t do something they’d regret or waking up with a bad hangover. I preferred the quiet Friday night beer with my roommates. I now much prefer the cuddles I get with my niece before she goes down for the night and a good series on Netflix or a book.”

I smile at him because he’s right. Those little humans trump any glitzy night out.

We near a souvlaki van and Peeta asks if I’d like something to eat.

“Sure.”

We sit with our souvlaki in the park close by and we share a club soda and eat away.

“I feel like we should each both share something about ourselves.” He says, breaking the silence. “We’ve been avoiding the hard hitting questions for too long and I think we should clear the air between us.” He sighs. “I’ll start.”

“You don’t have to.”

“No, let me.” He tells me. “Delly, as you know she’s my sister-in-law.” I nod. “She married my eldest brother David a couple of years ago. Dave had the same upbringing as my other brother and I. Our mother left when we were young. She never wanted anything to do with us and left. I was only young, while Dave and Rye remember her. It affected Dave the most and I don’t know why I think it just triggered him to become possessive and demanding. He was like that growing up and even as a teen. He used it to his advantage and got away with a lot. He was out all hours of the night when he was a teen, would smell of rum and pot.

“Dave moved out, went to college and things calmed down. Dad started dating a new woman who was wonderful. She had her own daughter, who turned out to be Delly. Dave approved of Delly’s mother but Dad and Cynthia broke up. Dave and Delly got together but that ended when they finished college. They got back together again and moved in with each other, relocating to Seattle. We lived in Portland, born and bred and it was a bit of a sea change but they did it for love. Dave worked for a big business the and Delly was completing her speech pathology degree."

“They married just under three year and went traveling for a bit before they came back and a few months after their trip were pregnant again. I had moved to LA to complete my midwifery course, having quit as a paramedic. I hadn’t really had a lot to do with them but I noticed the shifting change in Dave. Delly didn’t comment, either did Rye.”

“And this is where we met, Delly was in the final weeks, I had come for an interview here in Panem. We met. You left me and then Delly called right after. She was in tears, telling me everything. Dave had gotten worse over the last few months, fearful that Delly would leave him and the baby. He started to get aggressive and overpowering. She wanted me to come and get her. I rerouted my flight to Oregon and got there as quickly as I could. And I was jobless, so I wasn't so sure how it was going to work. We had it planned that she'd move to LA with me and then while we were packing up, I got a call offering me the job here. Delly agreed to move with me and we did. I didn't know that Dave had actually touched Delly. Didn't realize she had those bruises on her back until I brought her to the hospital when she was in labor. I didn't know this was happening and felt like a failure."

“You weren’t to know.”

"But I should have. Delly hinted. Even Rye hinted but I didn't realize what they meant."

“She’s safe now though, isn’t she?”

He nods, wiping the tears from underneath his eyes. “She is. Maisy and her are both safe. Delly won’t leave the house though.”

“It’s common, you’ve got to give her time.” I tell him softly. “You’re a great guy for taking in your niece and sister-in-law.”

“It’s driven Dave mad but Rye is doing his best to get the help Dave needs.”

I move closer to him on the bench, squeeze his hand slightly and exhale the deep breath I’ve managed to get caught in my throat. “Since we’re telling secrets, let me tell you mine.”

“You don’t have to Katniss.”

“No, I do.” I tell him. “It’s not really a secret. A lot of people know what happened but you don’t. You weren’t here when it happened and I want you to know exactly what happened to my husband.” I say, twisting the wedding ring around my finger. “Thom and I had been together since the end college. We met at a graduation party and we went on a date and we just knew this is what we wanted. It was simple and easy. We married a few years later and started to try for a baby. It took a little while to fall pregnant and when we did, we were so happy. My last day before I went on maternity leave, we woke up, made love, had breakfast together and he dropped me off at work. He promised to see my that afternoon at my parents for my baby shower and I smiled and waved goodbye to him. I remember being so proud of him in his work uniform. He was a paramedic and had the lifelong dream of being one.”

I sniffle. "I didn't realize that would be the last time I'd see him alive. To say something to him. To tell him I love him.” I tell him.

 _"Have a nice afternoon Dr. Everdeen." Rue says to me, waving me off with a wide smile. Marvel appears at her side and waves_ _me off and reminding me to take it easy the next few weeks. He was my replacement for the following months I was taking off._

 _Thom and I had plans to get the nursery organized_ _, to have some time just to us and count down the final days until we were holding our new baby. We’ve hardly stopped since we found out I was pregnant and it’d be nice to sit, put our feet up and relax for a little while. It was actually nice though to know that we’d be parents. That I was about to deliver our first baby._

_Johanna was driving me to Mom and Dad's. Johanna and Chaff were ensuring that I was having this baby shower that Prim had organized._

_We weren't on speaking terms at the moment and I hadn't seen or heard from her for a few weeks. She was headstrong and stubborn and didn't want anything to do with me after a huge blowout._

_“You ready?” Johanna asks me as we pull out the front of my childhood house. Thom’s car was already here but he said he’d drop it off during the day._

_“Yes.” I finally answer and she smiles at me._

_“Come on then.”_

_They treat me with presents, attention, and laughs. Thom was running late but I didn't let that bother me. He usually volunteered to stay back and_ _help the guys with paperwork if there was an emergency. I didn’t let it bother me as I knew he’d be here eventually._

_Cressida hands me over Hunter, letting me hold onto my growing nephew._

_Chaff and Johanna bring out the cake and we all laugh at the fondant baby legs sticking out of the cake that has been made like a diaper._

_“I couldn’t be prouder of you Katniss.” My dad begins to say. “And you’re going to be a beautiful mother. Thom and you are about to embark in the happiest time of your lives and enjoy every moment of it.” He smiles and raises his glass. “To Katniss and Thom.”_

_"Thank you, everyone." I tell them. "Can we wait for Thom though to cut the cake?"_

_“Of course. We’ll wait for the father of the baby. Who wants a refill?” Dad asks with Jay going to help him._

_I hand Hunter over to Cressida and send a text to Thom._

_How far away are you?_

_His response is almost immediate with him calling me._

_“Hi.”_

_“Katniss.” He says and I know something is wrong._

_“Thom?”_

_“This is going to sound a little weird but…”_

_“Thom, what’s happened?”_

_“I was just hit by a car.”_

_“Oh, are you alright?”_

_“Brutus and Finnick are looking over me.” He tells me. “Did you want to come and meet me at District Hospital?”_

_“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I tell him. “Thom, are you alright?”_

_“I’ll be fine.” He reassures me. “You know what it’s like with a concussion. See you in a bit?”_

_"Ok, Thom. I'll see you soon, yeah?"_

_“See you soon Kitten.” I smile at his nickname for me and end the call, hearing Finnick in the background talking to him._

_It’s a blur the moment I hang up. Bristol offers to drive me to the hospital, we tell everyone to remain behind and we’ll let them know what’s going on. We’re directed to the waiting room by a nurse who tells us that he’s been taken directly to the OR. Brutus and Finnick wait in the waiting room with us._

_“He lost consciousness on the way.” Finnick tells me, choking on his words. “He was talking to me, telling me about how excited he was for the baby and then his speech became slurred and he passed out.”_

_I asked him what happened. "We were ending our shift, stopped for coffee when he saw an elderly lady struggling to change her tyre. We offered to help her and he did the changing of the tyre. We were off the road, nowhere close to the road and it happened so quickly. A car has come out of nowhere, hitting him, knocking him over. We watched the car take off and I ran to chase after the car to stop. I come back to see him on the curb looking a little frazzled and confused._ _That’s when he called you and Brutus and I decided we’d take him in.”_

_“Finnick what happens if he doesn’t…”_

_“He’ll be fine Katniss.”_

_We sit in silence in the waiting room. Brutus keeps his face in his hands. Finnick stares out the window. Bristol sits with her knees bouncing and I pace, trying to calm the baby down as best as I can._

_It’s only an hour later when a doctor comes and finds us. A solemn look on his face._

_“Are you Thom Evan’s wife?” The doctor asks._

_“Yes.”_

_“I’m his sister.”_

_“Which one of you is the obstetrician?”_

_“I am.” I answer._

_He nods and looks to Brutus and Finnick behind me. “Can we have some privacy please?”_

_“No, they’re with us. They’re his colleagues.”_

_The doctor nods and begins to tell us what happened to Thom and the action they took in surgery._

_“How is he?” Brutus asks._

_“Can we go and see him?” Bristol asks._

_“We weren’t successful.” He tells us._

_“What?” I find myself asking._

_“I’m sorry, we did everything we could. He didn’t survive the procedure.” The doctor tells us, backing away as sheepishly as he can and heading down a hallway._

_Time stands still._

_And my life, flashes before my eyes._

_The first time I met Thom. The sound of his laugh. His smile. The crinkle of his eyes when he smiled. The sound of his voice. When he whispered he loved me. The feel of his skin beneath my own skin. His heart beating. The warmth of his arms. The security of his arms. The feel of his fingers as they touched my skin. Brushed the tears away from my eyes. His kisses. His sweetness. The day of our wedding. The day he told me he wanted to try for a baby. The look on his face when I told him we were to become parents. The way he said goodbye to me._

_Bristol is comforted by Finnick. Brutus has taken off with his fists clenched._

_And I stand still. Frozen and still unsure if I truly heard what the doctor just told me._

_Our baby lies still in my womb._

_My whole world shatters before me._

_My husband. An expectant father has had his whole life ripped away from him._

_He'll never meet the baby he's been patiently waiting to meet._

_All that happiness has gone in an instant._

_My child will never know their father._

Peeta squeezes my hand and tells me he’s sorry.

I manage a smile. “It’s getting easier but at first it wasn’t. Those first few days were hard. I wished Thom were here rather than Willow. I feel so guilty having said those words. Having made those bargains in my head. I was angry at Thom for leaving me. For not being there with me.” I tell him. “But, it brought Prim back to me. I found he’d made this beautiful rocking horse and toy box for our baby.” I sniff. “Most of all, he gave me Willow. She might not ever know her father but I’ll be forever be thankful for the gift that was my daughter. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

“You’re doing a great job with her.” He tells me. “And this is from someone who’s only just recently met you. Willow is a happy baby and I can see how much she loves you.”

We smile at each other for a long while.

A phone ringing pulls us away from each other and I check my phone, seeing Henry’s name on the screen.

“I don’t know if I should.” I tell Peeta. Who shrugs his shoulders. “Hello.”

_“Hey.” Henry says. “Preston’s temperature’s come down and my mom’s here – are you still out and about?” He asks._

I look up at Peeta. “I’m on my way home actually.”

_“Can I come and meet you?”_

“Hang on.” I tell him and cover my speaker. “He wants to come and meet me.” I tell Peeta.

“Do you want that?”

“I should have the big conversation with him, face to face.” I tell Peeta.

“What big conversation?”

“Why we’re never going to take this any further.”

“Are you sure that’s going to happen?”

“Well, he’s already said that he can’t get into anything.”

“Is he still there?” Peeta asks, pointing at my phone.

“Yep.” I answer and pick the phone back up again. “Yeah, Ok, I’ll meet you.”

_“Yes. Great. Text me where you are. See you soon.”_

I end the call and sigh. “Why am I nervous?”

“Do you want me to wait with you till he shows up?”

“That might be weird.”

“Well, a good wingman stays with you through the weird.”

“No, it’s Ok, it’s Ok.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll take it from here.” I tell him.

“Ok.” He replies and wraps his arms around me briefly.

“Thank you.” I whisper and feel him tighten his hold briefly before letting me go.

“You’re welcome. Have a good night.”

“You too.”

He stands up from the bench and heads on off, through the park and heads home. And I stay on the park bench, waiting for Henry.

The sun starts to get lower in the sky and the stars begin to shine. I begin to wonder if he’s stood me up but I give him another fifteen minutes before I leave.

“Katniss.” I turn around to see Henry rushing towards me with a pack over his shoulder. “Thanks for waiting.”

“Um, firstly, I understand you and I both have a lot going on in our lives already, and my baggage is… intricate.”

“Everything’s different now that I’m a dad. Looking at my son so sick, I thought, ‘how can I start something?’” He tells me.

“Well, I’ve been feeling that as well.”

“But I realised it’s a piss-weak excuse.” He tells me with a bright smile. “Can we try again?”

I ponder the thought. He’s already stood me up. Shattered me today and now wants to try again.

“Ye-yes.”

“Great.” He replies. “Ok, let’s go.” He tells me. “Now, we are walking, but not far.”

“Ok.”

He takes me round the corner, stopping in front of a restaurant. “First, I would have brought you here. They do the best pasta with a secret family recipe that I’ve tried to figure out but just can’t. And I would have asked you about your family.”

“Oh, that’s… a long story.” I tell him chuckling nervously. “Too long to tell now. My family is an intricate web.”

“Well, then, I would have asked you random questions, like, ‘did you have an Etch A Sketch when you were a kid?”

“Yes, I did. I could never draw anything good with it.”

He laughs. “I know, it was impossible.”

We continue on walking, back to my favorite park. One that I would come to when I felt lonely and look up at the stars and sit on the steps of the grand old rotunda that sits in the middle that has beautiful twinkling lights and ivy growing around it.

“Then I would have brought you here.”

“I love this place.” I tell him.

He smiles. “And I would have brought this.” He says opening a plastic container and handing it to me with a spoon.

“Red velvet cake?”

“Yep.” He tells me as I break off a spoonful.

“Did you make it?” I ask as I spoon a piece into my mouth. “Mmm. Perfect.”

“And I’d ask you to forgive me… for letting uncertainty get the better of me.”

“I forgive you.” I tell him.

He smiles, beaming his teeth. “When did you last run through a park at night?” He asks and I look back at him confused. “Come on.” He picks up his pack and starts to run off urging me to follow him.

I follow him, running as best as I can and we both chuckle.

“Come on.”

“I’m come… I’m trying.” I reply, eventually losing my balance and falling over.

“Ow.”

“Are you Ok?”

"Yeah, I think I just jarred my ankle." I tell him and he helps me up onto my feet. My ankle hurts as I put weight on it. "No, it's better than I thought. It's Ok. Just more of a surprise than anything."

I’m in his arms instantly. “I reckon we need to get some ice on that ankle.” He insists on carrying me.

“My ankle’s OK.”

“Well, it’s too late to put you down. I’m not going to dump you halfway.”

“You’re huge.” I tell him. He’s close to 6 foot 4. “The ground is so far away.”

“I didn’t plan this part, but it’s working out pretty well.” He tells me with a genuine smile.

He drives me home, switching off the engine outside of my place. We look at each other in the silence and smile slightly.

“See, now I’m afraid to talk in case I say the wrong thing and ruin it.” He admits.

“I had a lovely night.”

“Me too.”

There’s another silence for a few more seconds.

“Ok, I’m going to go now.” I tell him, gathering my bag and getting out of the car.

He follows me, to walk me to my door. “Can we do this again sometime?”

“Yeah.” I reply.

“Great.”

I look at him briefly and smile. “Goodnight.

“Goodnight.” He says as I back away towards the door.

“Bye.”

“Bye, Katniss.”

I turn around, walking back towards him to kiss goodnight.

It’s quick and soft.

But a perfect way to end the evening.

“Bye.” I whisper, pulling away from him and stepping through the front door and closing it behind me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise profusely for the late update, time really has disappeared and I've been quite busy with real life. I hope you've enjoyed this update.  
> So quite a bit has been revealed. Peeta's past, Delly's history, Thom's death and Katniss' feelings.  
> There was also a development with Henry and Katniss. I know some of you have so harsh feelings regarding Henry and are wary. Wary is right. He sounds like this wonderful single dad who's swept in like a knight in shining armour. More will be revealed about Henry in the coming updates.  
> Let me know your thoughts and I really hope to have a quicker update for you all.


	5. Never Alone

“Hi.” I say, answering Peeta’s call on speaker.

_“Hey, did I get you at a bad time?” He asks._

I pull a pillow underneath my elbow and adjust Willow who nurses. “Nope, just feeding Willow.”

_“Great. Um, I had something to ask, if it’s not too much of a hassle.”_

“Sure go ahead.” I tell him.

_“You’ve got tomorrow off right?” He asks._

“Yep.”

_“Would you possibly be able to watch Maisy for a couple of hours.” He asks. “You don’t have to. I can find a sitter it’s just, Delly wants someone who she can feel comfortable with to leave Maisy with for a couple of hours while she meets with her lawyer. It’s a morning appointment and Maisy should be asleep.”_

I mentally go through my plans for tomorrow. Willow has swimming but that’s in the afternoon. “Yeah, of course. Just tell me what time and I can…” I begin to say just as Willow chomps down on my nipple. “Holy mother of…” I say, dropping the phone as I pull Willow away.

_“Katniss, what happened?”_

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to have to stop feeding you.” I tell Willow. “With my boobs.” Willow whines in responses, fighting her way to go back on again. "Well, they're my boobs. Not yours." I tell her, getting her latched on again. "Sorry, Peeta."

_“You Ok?”_

“Just Willow, she’s in a big biting phase.”

He just chuckles and I find myself smiling. “Laugh all you want.” I tell him, laughing as well. “You‘ll never understand feeling like a cow whose breasts are drained dry from a human who just eats and eats like it's her last meal on the earth. You also have never felt the pain of your nipple being clamped down between baby teeth.”

_“And I hope I never will experience that.” He laughs. “See you soon.”_

“Bye.”

* * *

 

“Did she draw blood?” Prim asks. Rory sits at the table sipping his coffee. The two of them had officially announced their relationship and were now officially dating. Which meant, sleepovers, loud sex and lots of flirty exchanges. Exchanges that were almost R rated.

“A little bit.” I tell her, buttering my piece of toast. Willow gurgles from her play mat and Rory gets up to go and play with her.

“I can’t believe this little cutie would do such a thing.” He coos, tickling her cheek.

"Well, she did."

“Maybe you should cancel dinner.” Prim suggests.

“Why?”

“Well, you know, the nipple situation and the up all night, and… you do look a bit shit.”

“Right. Thanks for that concern, but I’m fine, and I don’t really need to do anything, because Henry is bringing everything, and he’s cooking it.”

“Nice. Good strategy.” Rory tells me, coming to join us at the table with Willow.

“What?”

“Well, efficient for one.” He says.

"And minimizing the area of the kitchen, dining, and pants off sexy area." Prim finishes.

“It’s not a plan.” I tell them. “He just has a small kitchen, and I thought it was about time to have a date.”

Prim and Rory snicker. “About time for sexy time.” Prim chuckles.

“I-I don’t know. Possibly.”

Rory and Prim chuckle again like teenagers and I tell them to stop it.

“Ok, can you two please stop? Because I haven’t even thought about it.”

“You wearing a hot bra?” Prim asks.

“I’m wearing a maternity bra.” I tell her.

“Is it hot?” Rory asks as Willow pulls his lip.

“I may not even have the energy to digest my breakfast, so can we not get carried away thinking about what may or probably won’t happen tonight?”

“We didn’t say anything.” Prim says, defending them both.

“You implied it. And you’re both thinking it.”

“Well, yeah, we were.” Prim tells me. “Oh, will you be right with Willow tonight? We were hoping to go on a date.”

“Yeah, that will be fine.” I tell her.

“What time where you finishing today?”

“Five.” I tell them.

“Can we drop her off to you? We’re going to a baseball game for seven but wanted to go for a couple of drinks before.”

“That will be fine.” I tell them.

* * *

 

Willow hardly budges when I leave her with Prim and Rory for work.

_My bra is fine. We probably won’t even get that far tonight._

“You’re chipper today.” Peeta interrupts me.

“Am I?” I ask, hoping he hadn’t seen my fondling my sore breast when the elevator doors opened.

“Yeah. Ah, Natalia Cordell. She’s had an epidural about two hours ago. She’s getting pretty close.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

I meet him down in the patient room, meeting my expectant parents. I delivered their son just over two years ago.

“Leon can’t wait to meet his new little ‘titter’.” The father tells us and we all laugh.

“He hasn’t quite mastered his S’s.” Natalia tells us as I examine her.

“Yeah, Nat still wants to call the baby Shoshanna.”

“Get used to it.” She tells her husband with a grin.

“That’s actually a beautiful name. Is it Jewish, or…?” Peeta asks.

“Yeah, it is.” The husband tells him. “Thing is, we’re not Jewish.”

"I'm pretty sure that's racists." Natalia tells him. "Is that racist?"

“It could be. Uh, or, in fact, anti-Semitic.” Peeta adds.

“That’s what it is.”

“Alrighty, we’ve hit the magic 10cm mark. Let’s have this baby shall we?” I tell them with my widest smile.

It was something about returning couples that made me the happiest. I felt honored mostly.

“Ok, Nat, I’ve got her head in my hands.” I tell her. “You’re almost there. This is it. I need you to take one more deep breath in.” I tell her. “Then push down as hard as you can.” I coach her.

“Push down Nat.” Peeta tells her.

“Big push, big push.” I encourage her. “Push harder.”

“Ah.” Natalia cries. “Some-something’s not right. I…”

“Ok. Take another deep breath.” I tell her, making sure everything is all right on my end.

“I don’t… I don’t… I don’t feel right.” She pants. “I’m…. I’m having trouble breathing.”

“That’s Ok, I’ll get you some oxygen.” Peeta tells her, reaching for the mask and helping fix it to her. “Breathe into the mask.”

“It’s Ok, baby.” Cameron tells her.

“It’s alright. Slow it down. Slow it down.” I tell her, looking into her eyes. “Breathe slowly. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” I tell her as Peeta holds the oxygen mask for her.

"Breathe in. Just breathe. Just relax into it." Peeta tells her softly, touching the back of her neck. "Feel the oxygen and breathe Nat." Natalia's breathing gets shallower and the machines begin to beep crazily as she loses consciousness. “Nat, can you hear me? Nat? Natalia, can you hear me?”

“What’s going on?” Cameron asks.

“Keep talking to her, Cameron.” I order him.

“Natalia?” Peeta calls.

“Get some help in here, Peeta.” I direct as calmly as I can. Panic is rising within me but I have to remain calm. I have mother and baby to think about. Two lives to keep safe.

"Already done." He tells me as the door opens with Chaff, Marvel, and Johanna rushing in. Peeta lowers Natalia flat on the bed.

“Multip, uneventful pregnancy and labor.” I tell them instantly. “Epidural at 6cm.”

“Very regular.”

“No indicators just collapsed during ventouse.” I tell them, trying to focus on delivering the baby.

“1mg of adrenaline, thank you.” Chaff orders Marvel and begins compressions as the heart rate monitor sounds. “1,2,3,4,5.” Chaff counts.

“We’ve got the baby. Delivering the baby now.” I tell them.

“7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18…”

“Here we go.” I announce as I deliver the baby. The newborn cries as I pass her over to Johanna to take to check over and wrap.

I move to help Chaff as he continues compressions.

“We’ve got no pulse.” Peeta announces.

“Alright, charging.” I announce. “Clear.” I hit the paddles to her chest and Chaff begins compressions again.

“More adrenaline.”

“Charging.”

“1,2,3,4,5…”

“Amiodarone, 15ml.”

“6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14…”

“Any bleeding?” I ask Marvel.

“No sign of separation.” He tells me.

“And clear.” I tell them, charging the paddles again.

“We’ve got no pulse.” Peeta announces.

“More adrenaline.” I order as Chaff continues compressions. Johanna administers another round and Natalia is shocked again.

“Asystole.” I call.

Chaff continues another three rounds of compressions until we get him to stop.

“Chaff.” I say as he continues to count. “Chaff.”

He eventually stops, looking me in the eye and we all stop.

Natalia’s newborn begins crying again and we’re brought back into reality. The room is silent except for the cries of the baby.

“Time of death. 1:46pm.” I call and walk to Cameron who sits in the corner of the room with his fussing daughter. I pull up a stool in front of him. “Cameron. Natalia has had cardiac arrest, and… we were unable to resuscitate her.” I tell her. Peeta comes to stand beside me. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“But I…” He stammers, looking down to his daughter who continues to fuss and cry. “But she was fine.”

“I know. It happened very quickly.” I tell him. “She suffered acute respiratory failure. She may have had some internal bleeding. An embolism, a blood clot that caused an obstruction, but we won’t know for sure until we carry out some tests.” I tell him, stroking the top of the baby’s head for a moment before gripping his arm. “I’m so sorry, Cameron. We did everything we could.”

The baby cries again and I reach out to stroke her forehead to calm her down as best as I can.

“Uh…” Cameron says looking at Peeta and then me. “Mmm… ah… Can I just…” He asks, looking over at Natalia and then his daughter.

“Yeah, of course. Of course.” Peeta tells him, helping him up and leading him to his deceased wife.

Everyone slowly clears the room. Peeta helping him as Cameron does his best to settle his daughter and keep his own composure.

“Just lay with Mom.” He urges his daughter, laying her on his wife’s chest that still emits warmth. “There you go.” He whispers. “That’s it.” His daughter continues to cry and Cameron does his best to comfort his daughter and hold his own composure.

I watch on for as long as I can and immediately vacate the room when I feel my own self-struggling to breathe. This was all too much. All too familiar.

I escape to my office, collecting a death report form on the way and try my best to fill it out. Peeta promises me he’ll take care of Cameron and the baby and get them settled into a room. Even helping Cameron inform the family of the news none of his family was expecting to hear today.

_Focus, Katniss. Just fill in the blanks._

I manage to begin writing, filling in the blanks as detailed as I can. The quicker I got this done, the quicker I could file it away and go and check in on Cameron.

Peeta appears as I feel the tears well in my eyes.

“Hey.” He says softly.

“Hey.”

“Just, ah, thought I’d let you know that Cameron and the baby are back in their room.”

“Oh, thank you.” I tell him and he goes to leave. “Oh, hey. I really appreciated the way you handled the whole situation.”

“Well, I’ve been in a few of those situations before.” He tells me sadly.

“Does it get any easier?” I ask him.

He comes and takes a seat in front of me and exhales. “No.” He tells me. “Just more familiar.”

“I’ve been trying to work out what to say to Cameron.” I admit to Peeta. “I’ve been thinking about… what would have helped me… when I lost Thom. Whether there was anything that anyone could have said or done.” I sigh. “I can’t think of anything.”

Peeta nods, understanding exactly what I mean. “You’ll think of something.”

* * *

 

_I wake, struggling to breathe. I sit up. Clutching my stomach as the baby turns and kicks me._

_I’m an incubator for this baby. Me being alive is keeping this baby alive._

_Thom is dead._

_He’s body is on its way to the funeral home. His organs harvested and hopefully being transplanted into those who desperately need new organs._

_He was passionate about saving lives. He took an oath to save lives. And even after his last breath. He still managed to save hopefully half a dozens of lives._

_I can still feel the warmness of his skin. And the beating of his heart._

_Despite the machines making it move._

_It still was his beating heart beneath fingertips._

_Is life even worth living if the love of your life can’t be there alongside you?_

_whom their father was? Having not met them._

_I calm the baby as best as I can and try to take one step in front of the other. Finnick drove me home_ _sobbing. He helped me in the house and handing me over to my mother who was waiting in the darkened hallway with red, rimmed eyes and damp cheeks._

_She did what mother’s do best, pulling you to their chest and holding on for as long as you need them to._

_“How do I do this without him, Mom?” I asked her when I was sure there were no more tears to be shed._

_“You’re already doing it.”_

* * *

 

My phone beeps and buzzes but I ignore it. Nothing in this world could be as important as this.

As Cameron and his daughter.

I forget what time is and try to take one step in front of the other. Try to will myself to enter that room and speak to Cameron.

I linger outside of the room, hearing the soft grizzles and cries from the baby and inhale a deep breath before stepping into the room.

Cameron nurses his daughter, staring down into her eyes and tries to not cry.

I knock softly and watch him look up at me as I enter the room, leaning up against the end of the bed.

“How’s the feeding going?” I ask him.

“Ok. I think. She’s taken about 15 mils.” He tells me, looking at the bottle.

“Good.” I tell him and smile. “She looks pretty happy there.” I softly say and he looks down at her. She snoozes, pouting her lips together and sighing softly. “She’s so beautiful.” I tell him.

Cameron nods, exhaling. “I was looking at her before, and, um… I forgot. Just for a second. I just keep getting caught up in her. How perfect she is. And then…”

_You remember._

“And then I remember.” He admits tearfully. “I don’t think I can do this without her.”

I look up at him and try to give him the most honest and supportive look. “You’re already doing it.” I admit to him and watch him get choked up again.

I leave him to it once his sister and mother arrive. I know he’s in good hands with them. I escape back into my office. I sit down in my chair, flipping my phone over and see the missed calls and texts.

I decide to call Prim back.

_“Please tell me you aren’t still at work.” She says._

“I’m still at work.” I tell her.

_“Well, you’re missing an outrageously good pinot. And the smells coming out of this kitchen…”_

“Prim.” I say. “I lost a patient today. She gave birth to her child and then she died. And we couldn’t revive her.”

_“Oh, shit.”_

“I just don’t think I can see Henry tonight.”

_“No, Ok. I’ll take care of that.” She tells me. “Are you OK?” She asks._

“Yep, think so.” I tell her.

_“Oh. Just take you time, and we’ll see you when you get here. We dropped Willow off but we can come and get her and bring her home if you need some time.”_

“No, she’s fine, I want her here with me. I need her here with me” I tell her. “You and Rory should still go to the game.”

_“There’ll always be others.” She tells me. “See you soon.”_

“Ok. Thanks.”

I end her call and make my way to find Willow. Everyone else promised to watch her while I finished up what I had to do.

I leave my office and make my way towards the soft cries coming from the locker room.

I enter the locker room, pushing the door open slowly and quietly to not startle Willow and whoever is watching her.

Willow is safe in Peeta’s arms, watching as he points things out to her within the locker room. Willow wears his stethoscope around her neck and she’s more focused on that.

Peeta laughs. “You’re going to be a doctor just like your Mommy.” He tells her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You’re already a natural. Look at you listening to my heartbeat.” He smiles, watching as she presses the chest piece to his heart. “Are you going to be an obstetrician?” He asks her.

It’s hard for me to imagine that my baby who Peeta carries is six weeks short of being a year old. She looks so grown up in his arms and so comfortable and trusting of him.

“Oh and now you’re being enigmatic.” Peeta says, chuckling slightly as Willow remains silent, not responding to him and his questions at all. “I like that.”

“Hi.” I greet them both.

Peeta turns around and smiles at me, blushing slightly. “Hi.”

“How’s she been?” I ask him.

“She’s been good. No complaints from me.” I smile at him. “She’s such a wonderful girl.”

I thank him and take Willow who is reaching out for me. I get her settled on my hip after a small cuddle and a few kisses.

Peeta stays with me and we take a walk through the floor and end up at the nursery, overlooking the newborns that sleep soundly in their bassinets.

“You never told me why you left the field to become a midwife?” I tell him softly, kissing the top of Willow’s head.

He keeps his attention on the one baby we had delivered. The little girl who’ll never meet her mother. Just like my little girl who’ll never meet her father. I snuggle Willow tighter and wait for Peeta’s response.

He inhales a deep breath and I watch him, notice his shoulders slump.

This was obviously a painful story, especially considering how quickly he changed his career from paramedic to midwife.

“It was hard work being a paramedic. Thom probably told you that. It was also very rewarding. But you never knew what a new day would bring and when you’re working in your hometown, you know it was going to affect you more. I had been a paramedic for over a year by this point and had experienced a lot. It was a beautiful, close-knit community full of passionate people. “He explains. "It was one winter, the school had just gone back after winter break and we had experienced a cold snap with snow expected and had experienced very icy mornings. It’s something that happens very rarely every year and it happened to be this week. We were prepared for callouts from car accidents and such, but I had been lucky and hadn’t experienced a major car accident. There had been a couple single vehicle ones that the driver walked out of with only minor injuries. This particular morning though, I had a bad feeling, as I was getting ready to finish up from night shift.”

“Ten-past-seven, twenty minutes before my shift ended we were called to a rural road. A single car accident had occurred; two occupants were in the car. A mother and her son, the mother was headed to drop the boy off at his grandparents as they would take him to school as she started work early. We arrived at the scene and we knew it was bad. They closed the road and I was out of the rig before my partner even put it into park. The mother was hysterical and clutching her son. She had pulled him out of the car herself, despite her injuries.”

“What happened?” I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat.

“Black ice. She lost control and crashed into a tree at the side of the road. The other ambulance crew took the mother, and my partner and I worked on the boy who was just seven. We had an off-duty police officer and two firefighters helping us try to resuscitate him. We got him loaded into our rig and I continued CPR with the off-duty police officer assisting me. We rushed as safely as we could to the hospital and the cop and I did the best we could to keep him alive for the doctors who were waiting for us. I could still hear the mother’s cries as she said goodbye to him. We made her properly say goodbye to him. I could see all the faith lost as the doors closed and we drove off. He got worse the further we drove but we didn’t give up.”

“The minute the doors opened up at the ER, he was gone.” He tells me. “The doctors didn’t let that stop them. They rushed him in and for an hour they did their best to revive him. My partner, the officer and myself sat in the waiting room and I could hear them call time of death on the boy.” He recalls.

I touch his shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

"And then a month later, another accident had occurred on the same road just out of town, a couple of hundred feet apart from the first accident. It was a little girl this time, same age, the same school as this boy. She was on her way to karate and her father thought he missed the turn and performed a U-turn in front of a moving van who did his best to avoid it. When we arrived, there was again an off-duty doctor, a teacher and her husband and the same police officer from that first accident. The teacher sat in her car crying, having watched the whole thing unfold. She watched the little girl who attended her school being worked on. We arrived, saw the father crying at her side, clutching his other son in his arms who was also in the car but fine.”

"We had the girl, did our best to get her stable for the ride into town. The police officer joined me again, assisting the best she could as we tried to keep the girl alive. She was stable right until she was rushed to the ER and we again sat in the waiting room. The family soon gathered in the waiting room, a mother clutching her young baby in her arms with other family support. And just like the little boy, I knew the moment the girl had died. Could sense the doctors calling time of death."

“It wrecked me, seeing these families torn apart. I handed in my letter of resignation that evening because I couldn’t be in this situation again. Couldn’t bear seeing another little girl or boy dying and myself feeling responsible for their deaths. I couldn’t be that first responder anymore. The good did outweigh tragedies, like births or the smiles from toddlers and children, assuring us they were fine, but when two seven-year-olds die in the space of a month, I just knew I had to get out."

“Do you think it was due to PTSD?”

He nods. “Yes, I acted irrationally and quit. But for my sanity, it's what I needed. It was mandatory for me to see a counselor and they agreed on par for my own sake, I needed to get out of there." He tells me. "The cop is still on stress leave. She couldn’t bear going back. It was too personal for her as her children attended the same school.”

“Life is truly sucky.”

“I do remember though, a couple of months after, seeing on the news the school those kids attended with all these emergency responders. It came out of the good of their hearts to spend a few hours with all these children, bringing the flashiest police cars, fire trucks and ambulances, along with other teams like search and rescue and even FBI and secret services and let the kids listen to these first responders reassure these children that there was nothing to fear about those who help. To still be inspired to become emergency responders. The kids got to climb in the vehicles, take turns with the fire hose, turn on the sirens and see how fast they could run against the speed gun. It warmed my heart but I just knew, seeing those smiling faces haunted my dreams and I knew, I couldn’t be back on the road in the rig.”

“So you became a midwife.” I say.

“I became a midwife. I just remember how happy it made me seeing babies born. And especially the time I delivered a baby. I wanted that adrenaline again. Wanted to see happy parents. Even if things like today happened, I could deal with that better than what I had to endure on the road.”

“Do you like your decision?” I ask him as Willow coos, reaching out for Peeta.

He takes her from me, smiles and bounces Willow slightly. “I love it. I don’t regret it one bit.” He tells me, tickling Willow who gives him a toothy smile.

* * *

 

Willow sleeps over my shoulder as I juggle carrying her inside. It’s late and I spent quite a few hours at the hospital before returning home. Willow slept in her stroller, I sat in my office in the dark doing paperwork, checking in on Cameron and avoiding the real world.

I ignored the texts and calls and just sat in the quiet of my office. Peeta brought us dinner that we shared in my office. We didn’t speak but his company was enough to calm me.

“You should get her home.” He told me, smiling at Willow as she stirred in the stroller. He comforted her, tickled her cheek and just gave her the comfort she needed.

And he walked me to my car, folded down the stroller and placed it in the trunk of my SUV and farewelled us for the night.

“Thank you for what you did today.”

He nods, thanks me and climbs into his own car to go home.

I get Willow to bed after fighting with her. She goes down after a long hour of trying and I try to not cry after the toll of today.

I shower, fall onto the couch with a bowl of goulash that Henry made me and flick through the late night shows. Prim and Rory are still out, I assume celebrating their teams’ win.

I send Henry a thank you text and he replies instantly, asking if I’m Ok.

I ponder a response back to him think for a little while. Figuring out if I truly am Ok. My phone rings and I see Henry’s name on the screen.

I swallow the lump in my throat and answer the call.

“Hi.”

_“Hey. How are you?” He asks._

“I’m Ok.”

_“I’m glad you’re Ok.” He replies. “What are you doing?”_

“Not a lot.” I tell him. “I can’t sleep.”

_“Me either. I’m actually walking.”_

I look at the time. He probably shouldn’t. It’s late and I have two babies to babysit tomorrow morning.

“Where are you walking?” I ask him.

I let him in ten minutes later; lead him to the living room. He sits beside me on the couch.

“Preston didn’t really start sleeping through until a few months ago.” He tells me after I inform him of my struggles to get Willow to sleep.

“The more I need her to be asleep, the harder she fights to stay awake.”

“They’re not very nice.” He replies. “They don’t really care.”

“They don’t care.” I agree smiling. I laugh slightly and look at him. “I just feel like I’m running on empty. All the time.”

“Probably because you are.”

“Do you ever feel… do you ever worry that you’re not enough?” I ask him.

“All the time.” He tells me.

I nod. “I desperately want to be everything Willow needs me to be. And I’m shit scared that I’m not enough. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I just… panic. I rewind through the day and try to work out how I could be more present for her. And sometimes I’m just so fucking tired that I have to remind myself to enjoy her. She’s the highlight of my life and I have to remind myself to enjoy her.” I admit to him.

“I can’t even imagine what you went through today.” He says. “And I really tried. I was trying to work out what to say or what to do to try to help but… I couldn’t think of anything.” He smiles. “You might be shit scared. Exhausted. But you’re here Katniss and you’re doing it all anyway.” He tells me.

I smile slightly at him. He’s right.

He leans towards me. And I lean towards him.

Our lips meet and we kiss. I forget about everything that happened today and enjoy this moment. Enjoy this wonderful man who is sitting on my couch, telling me all these wonderful things. Reminding me that I’m a good mother. That I’m doing the best I can.

He kisses me as he leaves, hovering over me and leaving a lingering kiss on my lips.

“Thank you.” I whisper to him and see him smile. “Night.”

He pulls the covers up over my bare shoulders and sneaks out of my bedroom into the quiet of the night.

* * *

 

“Hi.” Peeta greets me, opening up the front door. “Hi, Willow.”

He lets us in, shows us around and makes me a cup of tea. Delly is just putting Maisy down.

“What time is the appointment?” I ask Peeta. Willow is in his arms. She’s attached to him. I’m surprised how quickly she’s grown towards him. She’s comfortable and it eases the anxiety I have towards her and strangers.

“At 10.” He tells me. “Thanks for doing this.”

“It’s fine.” I smile. “I don’t mind helping out.”

“She should just sleep, so you’ll just have to watch the monitor.” He informs me.

Delly comes downstairs and smiles at me.

“Hi, Katniss.”

“Hi, Delly. How are you?”

She smiles. I know she’s anxious about today. Anxious that she’s seeking legal help against her partner. “Good. Better probably after this meeting.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“We should probably go.” Peeta tells her, handing Willow over to me. “We shouldn’t be too long.”

“Just call if you have any problems.” Delly tells me. “There’s milk in the fridge, pacifiers in her room and plenty of diapers and wipes under her change table. I’m sure you’ll figure it out if you have any issues. I just left a little note just in case”

“We’ll be right.” I tell her. “You two go. I’ll see you both later.”

They leave and Willow and I sit together on the couch. We watch The Wiggle’s on the TV and Willow soon goes down for her nap.

I get bored of my book and go and wander around their house. Most of it is still in boxes and quite bare. It’s covered in baby things but feels homey and lived in. I check out the bedrooms quietly, try to not wake up Maisy and poke my head into Peeta’s room. His room is unpacked with his few possessions. He has canvases stacked against a wall and I tiptoe across, checking out the paintings.

They are beautiful. And I realize that he is a painter.

He has paints; brushes, charcoals, and pencils all packed neatly in boxes beside the canvases. There are dozens of art diaries and sketchbooks. I flick through the first, seeing his beautiful sketches of everyday things. He’s truly an artist.

I leave his room soon after and go to the kitchen to pull out my fruit that I bought with me.

In the fridge, there is a plate of baked treats and a post-it note.

_Help yourself._

I lift the plastic off and pick out a bun with melted cheese on top.

Heated up, it melts in my mouth. It's gooey and beautiful and I know I'm demanding he brings them into work the next time we work together.

My phone buzzes and I read the text from Henry.

_H - How are you today?_

I sit on the stool next to the island.

_K – Better. Thank you for last night._

_H – Anytime._

Maisy wakes just before Peeta and Delly arrive back. She settles quite quickly in my arms and I just hold her and talk to her. She’s got a beautiful gummy smile and she giggles at me as I pull faces.

She’s a beautiful girl. Blue eyes, rounded cheeks, wispy blonde hair and two big dimples. She is a giggly and happy baby and I can see how she brings happiness to her uncle’s life. Willow is awake shortly after and together on the couch, we all sit cuddled with each other. Willow nursing and Maisy having a bottle propped up on a pillow next to me.

“You’re like superwoman.” Delly comments when they walk through the door, noticing me feeding two babies at once. “You’re a natural.”

Peeta smiles at me, offers to take Maisy from me and I tell him it’s fine. He sits across from me, as does Delly. He looks at me occasionally, smiling and tries to not make it obvious that he is watching me. He takes Maisy when she’s finished to burp and he changes her diaper.

“How’d it go?” I ask Delly.

“Good. My lawyer gave me options to look over.”

“That’s good. Are you going to press charges?”

“I don’t know. There were things regarding custody and AVO’s. I haven’t heard from Dave in a while and I think Rye is doing everything to keep him on the straight and narrow. But he needs professional help. Help that Rye can’t really give him.”

“Just think about it. Don’t rush your decision and do what you think is best for all of you.”

I set Willow on the floor soon after and she shows off her new skill of walking around the furniture. She makes it to Peeta and he lifts her onto his lap. She’s happy in his arms and I know she was on a mission for him and him only.

“She’ll be walking in no time.” Delly comments. Maisy is with me and I’m stealing extra cuddles from the beautiful girl before we leave.

“I know. She’s so determined to be independent. I’m not ready to see her grow up just yet.”

“How long until her birthday?” Delly asks.

“6 weeks.” Peeta answers for me. “Sorry, I just remember you telling me the other day.”

I smile slightly. Most colleagues wouldn’t remember something like that.

But Peeta is different.

“We better get going.” I tell them. “Willow has swimming soon.”

Maisy goes back to her mother and tell her I’m available if she needs me. Peeta offers to walk me to my car and he straps Willow in.

“You Ok after yesterday?” He asks once Willow is in her car seat.

“Yeah. It’s just, she was my first loss since having Willow and it just brought back some memories. Cameron and I are so similar and I know what he is going through. I feel for him. And I know it’s going to be quite hard for him but he’ll cope. We all cope.”

Peeta embraces me and smiles. “You’re a wonderful mother. Don’t ever doubt it.” He whispers to me. I feel myself smile as I know how much he means it.

I smile. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

“See you on Monday.” He smiles.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My updating is getting a bit better.
> 
> Just a quick little update. A little bit more is revealed in regards to Peeta's previous life and more is developing regarding Henry. And a lot of you are suspicious which I'm glad you are picking up on him. Let's just say a previous revelation could possibly backfire in the coming chapters. I'm not going to say what but continue to be suspicious and wary of him. For Katniss though, it's different, she doesn't pick up on any odd signals and still figuring out her own grief she has let her guard down. 
> 
> I'm going to leave that there before I reveal anything else. Next chapter will skip forward about a month so a lot of development will have happened for Katniss and Henry. 
> 
> In the meantime you can find me on tumblr as Herainab


	6. Change The Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back. So sorry for the long delay. 
> 
> A longer note is at the end of the chapter, just thought I'd say hello and please enjoy this longer chapter.

Prim is fidgety and hovering and I know something is wrong.

“What is it?” I ask her, dishing out my breakfast. Willow sits in her highchair, eating her toast and eggs.

“Rory asked if we wanted to get a place together.”

“You’ve only been dating for several weeks.”

“That’s what I said.” She sighs. “He said that shouldn’t matter, we've known each other our whole lives.”

“You have.”

“You should be agreeing with me.” She states. “Sorry.”

"What has gotten into you?” I ask her, sitting down at the table next to Willow.

She sighs. “Every good thing I do in a relationship always turns to shit. I move in with them, we take the next step, talk about our future and I always stuff it up.”

"Prim, you're allowed to make mistakes in relationships," I tell her.

She nods and turns her phone towards me, showing me a message thread.

A message thread with her ex-boyfriend.

“He started messaging me out of the blue.”

I look at her with the big sister eyes. The ‘don’t even think about it’ look.

“What if he’s the one I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with?”

“And what if your person is Rory?” I remind her. “You two are so deep with each other. I can see it lasting.”

“But Thresh was my serious relationship. I thought he was going to be the person I spent the rest of my life with.”

“And life happened and you two are no longer together. He ended up with someone else didn’t he?”

“Yeah on the east coast.” She tells me.

“What is he even doing here?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Had a bucks party. He wanted to see me again if I was interested.”

I nod, understanding this situation all too well. “Just set the parameters if you do agree.” I remind her. “You’re with Rory and you’re happy. Happier than you ever were with Thresh.”

“It’s not the point.” She sighs. “We have a long and extensive history.”

“As do you and Rory.” I point out.

“Thresh was going to propose to me.”

I almost drop my coffee cup. “What?”

“Remember that fight we had before you had Willow?” I nod. "Thresh left with the shits, telling me we were done and that he wanted me out of the house. Remember how I cheated on Thresh with one of my old boyfriends while I assumed we were broken up? And you told the family.”

“No, I didn’t tell the family. They listened to a private conversation I was having with Thom.” I remind her. “That wasn’t my fault.”

“Anyway, before Thresh and I decided to part ways, he showed me the ring he was going to give me when he got back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because life happened.” She sighs.

Her and Thresh were broken up a couple of weeks later after Thom's funeral. Prim telling him she didn't see it going anywhere else and that she needed to be with her family. Thresh moved across the country and I didn't realize they were still in contact. The last I heard, Thresh had a girlfriend and they were happily living it up together.

“So why almost a year later?” I ask her.

“I don’t know.” She replies. They tried to get back together after Willow was born but he was already seeing someone else. But it worked out for Prim. She realized what she wanted and that was Rory after years of dancing around each other. “We’re going to meet tonight before drinks.” She tells me.

“Does Rory know?” I ask her.

“No. I just want to know what his general aura is before I tell Rory.”

“You should tell him.”

“I will. Just not now.”

* * *

 

Dad takes Willow for the day and I head to work, leaving Prim to sort out her dilemma and myself to try and focus on my day.

I had a few things on my mind. Things I needed to think through and make decisions about. Big decisions that might impact my life and future. I had Willow to think about. I had to really decide if my work was affecting her.

I’m tense the elevator ride up. Twitchy and nervous. I had to find Chaff first to speak to him.

But he finds me first.

“Katniss, I’ve been meaning to have a word with you.” He tells me.

I’m caught off guard. "I've been meaning to have a word with you too," I tell him, stumbling on my words. Jumbling them slightly as I speak to him.

“Excellent.” He says. “Come and see me when you’re free.”

Johanna comes rushing into the room.

"Hey, Katniss. I need your baby delivering hands for just a minute."

I follow her down the hallway to a patient room. Johanna was never this nervous around patients. But today she is.

“Enobaria, Hi.” I greet her with a surprised smile. “You’re in labor?”

“I am now.” She laughs. “Baby decided to pull the plug." She laughs. "Thank god, don't know how much longer I could have coped."

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. Ready. More than ready.”

I do a quick check of her stats and check the monitor to make sure everything is in full swing.

“I’ll check back in on your later.”

She nods and turns her attention back to her book. Johanna has departed the room. She couldn't handle seeing her own wife in pain. She much preferred to focus on work than supporting her wife through her labor. Enobaria's sister was doing contraction duty and Johanna would slip in maybe when it was at the pushing stage or after her baby had been delivered.

She was still indecisive.

I leave her to be, head to my office to dump my gear before walking down the hallway towards Chaff’s office.

“Chaff.” I knock on his door, entering his office.

He calls me in and I take a seat in front of him. “What did you need to see me about?”

“It’s nothing really. I wasn’t really going to say anything but I thought it’s best to be open about these things.” I tell him. "Recently I've been thinking of other career path's," I tell him and see the shocked cross his face. “I’m not going anywhere or anything yet I’ve just been considering my options, Chaff.”

“That would be somewhat devastating.” He tells me. “Why?”

"Well, frankly, I wonder if Willow's been affected by what I go through here," I tell him. "Am I bringing it home? Am I giving enough of myself to her."

"Well, that's an understandable anxiety." He agrees.

“I just thought you should know where my head is.”

“Still in vaginas?”

“What?”

“Do you intend on remaining in the same field?” Chaff asks me. I nod.“Katniss… the loss of a patient can be life-altering. But I would caution you, as a friend, not to base any decisions solely on that.” He recommends.

“I agree.” I tell him smiling. “I’ll think about it.”

\---

“How are we going in here?” I ask, entering Enobaria’s room. Her sister has ducked out to get some lunch and grab a few things from home.

“Good.” She tells me. She’s exhausted and is a trooper.

“Ok, just lie back when you’re ready.” I tell her. “Take your time.”

Peeta helps her on to her back and I examine her. She's already at 7 centimeters and I know she'll be ready to go in the next few hours.

“You’re doing good. 3 more to go.”

She nods, squeezes her eyes tightly together and breathes through the contraction. Peeta squeezes her hand as I write up her chart.

“Good work.” Peeta tells her. “Hey, why am I being the support person?” He asks her. “Why isn’t Jo here? I shouldn’t be the one rubbing your back.”

She sips from her water. “Because she hates seeing me in pain.”

"She does this for a living." Peeta reminds her, rubbing her back.

“I know. I know. She just hates seeing me in pain.” Enobaria says. “Besides, you’re cute to look at.” She chuckles and Peeta joins her. "And you give a good back rub too."

I excuse myself when my phone rings and I see Prim’s name.

"Hi, Prim."

_“You should invite him tonight.”_

“Who?”

_“Peeta. Layla is interested in meeting him. It’d be the perfect place for a set-up.” She tells me, trying to set our very single cousin up._

“Right. Ok. Let’s do that.”

_“You don’t seem keen.”_

_“No, I am. Let’s do that.”_

_“Why are you talking like a phone bank?” She asks me._

“I’m with a patient. I’ll ask Peeta.”

“Katniss.” Peeta calls me.

I fumble and hang up on her. Smiling at Peeta.

"What's up?"

“New admission.” He tells me, handing me a chart.

\---

With ten minutes to myself, I head down to the coffee cart in the park. I needed the fresh air and caffeine.

I order my coffee and step backward, crashing into a solid chest.

"Oh… Sorry." I apologize, turning around to see Thresh.

“Oh-Thresh. Hi.” I greet him. “Hi. Sorry.”

He smiles at me. A big toothy smile. The one he was known for.

“Hey. How are you?” He asks me.

“Good.”

“You got a minute?”

I nod, collect my coffee and we take a seat at a nearby bench.

I could stretch my break a little longer.

“Did Prim mention I was back.”

"Yes, she did." I tell him. "Briefly this morning."

He smiles and nods. “How is she?”

“She’s good.” I tell him. “Why are you asking me this when you’re seeing her this afternoon?”

He fidgets, just like I remembered he did when he was nervous. He was always nervous around me, scared for what I’d do to stick up for my sister.

“Just, trying to prepare myself. It’s been almost twelve months.” He says. “How’s Willow? I see pictures of her occasionally. She’s beautiful. Look’s just like you.” He smiles sadly. “And Thom.”

I smile, acknowledging his comment. “She’s wonderful. She’s grown too quickly for my liking but she’s wonderful. She’s almost walking. She’s talking. Kind of.” I laugh. “She’s everything I imagined she would be.”

“You’re a great mother. I knew you would be. I’d love to meet her before I go back.” He tells me. “I got her a present as well.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I felt like I did. And she’ll be one soon.”

I frown slightly at the thought of her turning one. “I’ll see if I can arrange that.” I tell him. “It’d be nice for you to see her again.” I smile. “Prim moved in to help me.”

"I know. Your sister is a great person. She is the sunshine on a rainy day.”

“She’s been my rock these last twelve months. I couldn’t have done it without her or the rest of my family.” I tell him. I look at my watch and know I’m due upstairs soon. “I’ve got to get back upstairs Thresh, so if there’s nothing else?”

He bites his lip and then looks at me. “There’s a reason I’m here actually.”

“Yeah?”

“I broke up with my girlfriend.”

“Oh.”

“And I miss Prim.”

I move in my seat. “Thresh, she’s with Rory. She’s happy with him.” I tell him. “She’s… I don’t want to mean it this way but I think she’s found her forever.”

He frowns. “I know. I just needed to see her again.” He tells me. “I miss her so much, Katniss.”

I look at him, seeing how deflated he is. How conflicted he is.

“Don’t confuse her anymore, Thresh.” I tell him. “You’ve already broken her heart once.”

\---

Upstairs, I bump into Peeta. Too distracted after speaking to Thresh. “Oh, Peeta. Hi.”

“Hey. You look, um, harangued.”

“Do I?” I ask him.

“Oh, well, you know, in a very glamorous, enigmatic way.”

“Oh, right.”

“Do you have something to ask me?”

“I do.” I tell her.

“Yeah.”

“Would you be interested in a date? A sort of date. I don’t normally do this.” I tell him laughing nervously, watching him begin to smile. “But my cousin… Her name’s Layla and she’s gonna be at the pub tonight for a few drinks because my family friend is home. Anyway, everyone will be there. So, it’s not as if it’d just be the two of you.” I tell him as we walk down the corridor. His smile has disappeared from his face.

“Oh, right.”

“Um, and… You know, you’d just love her. That’s the point. She’s great.” I say. “I mean… I have to say that because she’s my cousin but she’s really beautiful.”

"Um, yeah, look, no offense, but, um, I don't think so. It's not really me."

I look around and lean in towards him. “Well, neither was an attempt at casual sex with a stranger in a hotel room but you did that.” I add in, blushing slightly.

“Well, that was a bit different.” He says, not looking up at me.

“Yeah, but…”

“Katniss, I don’t want to.”

“Oh, sorry. Of course. I didn’t mean to be pushy.” I tell him.

\---

“Where’s Jo?” I ask Enobaria and Peeta. She’s ready to push but is missing her wife.

“Hiding.” She tells me, gritting her teeth and squeezing her sister’s hand. I look up at Peeta, silently telling him to go and find her.

“I’m on to it.” He tells me.

He’s gone for five minutes while I get Enobaria ready.

“Found her hiding in the nursery.” Peeta announces dragging Johanna into the delivery room.

“Come on Jo, no chickening out now.” I tell her with a smirk. “She was holding your hand when you had Stella, time to repay the favor.”

“Hey, I almost delivered Stella on a pool table, she should be thankful she gets the privacy of a hospital and not some pool room in a bar.”

Jo grits and screeches just like Enobaria. Peeta is at my side, assisting, watching and taking care of Enobaria as she pushes. He coaches her and calms her. He has this presence I’ve never seen in any other midwife before. He deals with a crisis without panicking. He is always ten steps ahead of me and understands what I need before I even speak. He is patient, kind and caring. Is compassionate and treats everyone in the delivery room with so much respect. He doesn’t judge. He’s encouraging and just amazing.

I wish he were in the room when I was delivering Willow.

Enobaria is terrific and is rewarded with a baby boy about 15 minutes later.

“Congratulations.” I exclaim, producing them their little boy who cries loudly. He has a shock of dark hair on top of his head. He’s a chubby thing and has Enobaria’s olive coloring.

“He’s so beautiful.” Johanna cries, hiding her face into Enobaria’s neck. “He’s so beautiful.”

I lay the baby on his mother's chest and she cuddles him, covers him in thousands of kisses and welcomes him into the world.

Their long awaited son. They've experienced heartache, pain, and loss to be sitting here right at this moment, clutching their beautiful boy.

“We’ve been waiting for you for so long.” Johanna tells him. “I’m so glad you’re finally here.”

Peeta takes the baby to check him over while I deal with Enobaria’s post care.

“Do we have a name?” I ask them both. I didn’t want to intrude on their moment too much but I felt like I knew both of them enough to impose just a little bit.

“Stella wanted to call him Peppa but that doesn’t seem appropriate.” Johanna laughs, kissing her wife’s hand. "Then there was every name from the Wiggles. Wags was a highlight for her. Then her own name. Then Mommy. Even Gran.”

“She’s not very good at this whole naming thing.” Enobaria adds. Peeta helps her settle the boy back into her arms and gets him feeding. “We liked Ethan.”

I smile, looking down at the boy. “Ethan is lovely. It suits Stella too. They’re a pigeon pair the two of them.”

“I think he’s an Ethan.” Johanna agrees. “Welcome to this crazy world, Ethan.”

“He has two mother’s, we thought we’d prepare him from the day he was born.” Enobaria tells us laughing.

“He’s going to be fine.” I tell them. “He’s perfect. And he has a head strong big sister who’ll protect him.”

"That he does." They agree all laughing.

* * *

 

“Hey.” Peeta says as he enters the locker room.

“Hi.” I smile. “Peeta, sorry about before.”

“Oh, completely forgotten.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He tells me, reaching for his bag. “Honestly, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Ha.”

“I appreciate the attention to my love-life, though.” He tells me almost sharply.

“You don’t, really.”

“No, probably not.”

“I should have asked if you were interested in dating at all.” I begin to say. “You told me things were done with your ex and I thought it might have been a good opportunity to get out there again.”

“I am. I just, uh… you know…those things, there’s always so much pressure on them, so…”

“Done them a lot, have you?” I ask.

“Oh, barely a day goes by without a blind date.” He tells me laughing.

My phone sounds with a text and I look down at it.

_H – Finished for the day? What about you?_

“I’ll see you later, Peeta.” I tell him and type out a quick response to Henry.

_Willow’s out with Dad. There’s a ridiculously hot man waiting at your door._

Henry is parked outside of my house, leaning up against his truck with a grin on his face.

_Just put everything else aside and focus on this._

He follows me to the door and I fumble unlocking it.

“Hello.” I turn when I feel his hand on my hip.

“Hi.”

His lips are on mine immediately and he presses me against my front door, opening it for us to stumble inside as a tangle of limbs.

I strip out of my coat, kick off my shoes and lead him to my bedroom. Both of us fumble with our clothes. He undoes his belt and pants. I take off the belt around my dress and shimmy my panties down my legs.

He grabs me, pulling me towards my bed and I fall down, he falls on top of me, and a toy of Willow’s squeaks that I’ve fallen on top of.

As I go to throw the toy aside, I spot the door to Willow’s bedroom close shut and I push Henry off of me.

There’s then a noise on the baby monitor and both of us freeze.

“That was a child.” Henry says.

I jump up, fumble to redress quickly.

“Hello?” I call out.

The door opens to the nursery and Dad appears, slightly red faced.

"Oh… oh, Dad!" I greet him, going red. I would have known he was home if I noticed the stroller in the foyer in my haste to get inside.

“Hello. You’re home.”

“Yeah.” I nervously laugh.

I hear Willow laugh over the monitor.

“Um, you don’t have to go straight away.” Dad tells Henry after we’ve fixed ourselves up. I’ve got Willow in my arms and I sway slightly, embracing her and trying to hide my embarrassment.

“I should.”

“We were just, uh, looking for Willow’s donkey.” Dad tells us.

“Um… I better get Preston.” Henry tells me.

“Oh, you’ve got kids too?” Dad asks.

“Yeah. One.” Henry tells him, moving for the front door.

“I’m so sorry about that.” I tell him. “I had no idea.”

“No, it’s fine.” He says.

“Do you want to come for a drink tonight? To the pub? I’m thinking… if you feel like it.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” He whispers. “Maybe.”

“Only if you want.”

“Yeah. Um, Ok. Bye.” He says, kissing me quickly. “Bye, Mr… Katniss’ dad.”

He leaves and I turn to Dad.

“Darling, I’m…”

“Let’s never talk about it again.”

"Good idea."

I spot the missing donkey on the kitchen table and hand it to Dad sheepishly.

\---

“We had a really good chat. Eventually. Really… really normal, like ‘friends’ normal. Like, we could be friends one day. Like, good friends.” Prim tells me. “Sad friends.” She puts her earrings in. “We even talked about, Rory and Thresh’ girlfriend Carly.”

“Of, that’s… that’s good. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah. It just seems like we got there pretty quick. Should it be that, quick?”

“I don’t… I don’t know.”

“Is that all it takes to get over one of your most important relationships in your life and move on?”

“So, he talked about Carly?”

“Yeah, A bit. Not a lot.” She shrugs her shoulders. “What was there to say?”

My phone chimes and I reach into the diaper bag.

“Ah! Peeta’s back in.” I tell Prim, reading the text.

“What?”

“He says he wants to meet Layla at the pub tonight.”

"I don't know if she'll want to now. But they could be perfect and happy. I'll just tell her that he thought he had something else on." She says dialing her number. "Actually, I should tell her the truth.”

\---

“So, is… is Henry coming?” Peeta asks at the pub. Willow is at Mom’s where Cressida is watching all the kids tonight.

“No. I don’t think he can make it.” I tell him.

“Oh, boo him.”

“I don’t think he’s really ready for this.”

“Actually, yes, I can… I can understand that.” Peeta says, looking around at my family.

I laugh with him and spot Layla make an entrance. "Oh, Layla.”

“Hi. Is Prim here yet?”

“No, She’s on her way.” I tell her. “But this is Peeta.”

“Hi.”

“Oh! Hi!”

“You’re a bit curly.” Layla points out.

“Oh.”

“Peeta sounds like a straight-hair name. I prefer straight hair. It doesn’t matter.” Layla says.

“Um, would you like a drink?”

‘Sure, I’ll come to the bar.”

“Do you want another?” Peeta asks me.

“No, I’m fine. You go.”

I walk off to find my family, leaving Peeta and Layla to chat.

I chat with Vick, asking him about his travels around Europe while he studied and he fills me in on his highlights from his four years over there.

Out of all four Hawthorne's he was the smartest. He was also the prankster. During school he played up, bored with the notion of having to attend and not being challenged enough. His test results were through the roof despite his attitude in class being the total opposite. In High School, he buckled down got a high GPA, begun college and gained a scholarship to study overseas. He's chosen specialty being psychology.

He was always inspired by people, behaviors, and relationships. And always seemed to be the fixer in nearly every scenario.

An old friend arrives and she takes his attention and I turn to watch Peeta and Layla.

And I pick up that the date has ended before it’s even begun.

Prim arrives with Rory and we get about ordering some food while I wait. Peeta easily converses chats with my family. He really had the power to move a room with just a few words. He could talk about anything and everything and win almost anyone over.

Madge comes and sits beside me. I can tell she’s sad. “Our babies are no longer babies.” She frowns. “Where has the time gone?”

“I really don’t know.”

That also means the anniversary. The first anniversary of Thom's death is coming up next week.

And I really don’t know how to feel about that.

“We’ll get through it.” She tells me, squeezing my shoulder.

Gale joins our conversation and I sneak away for a few moments of privacy.

“Hey.” Dad greets me, meeting me out in the beer garden. “Katniss, I’m so sorry about…”

“Oh, we promised we’d never talk about it again.”

“We did and we won’t. It’s just, um, you know, a bit of a shock to see you with someone else.” He admits.

I swallow the lump in my throat and fiddle with my glass. “Well… it’s not easy for me either, Dad.”

“I know darling, I know. I’m sorry.” He says. “For what it’s worth. I think it’s wonderful. It’s a very wonderful, very brave, important step for you.”

I reach out across the table to grasp his hand. “We all miss, Thom.”

“Yeah.” Dad agrees.

“Hi.”

I turn, seeing Henry standing there beside me. “Hi.” I greet him. “You came.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Henry. Good to see you again.” Dad says, reaching out to shake his hand. “Dressed this time.”

“Dad.”

“Um, well, why don’t you come in? The whole family’s inside.” Dad suggests, heading in from the beer garden.

Henry turns to me, looking quite surprised at the notion of the whole family being here.

“Oh, did I mention that the whole family was gonna be here?”

“No. You did not.” He says, kissing my cheek. “Um, listen. I can’t stay long, I’m afraid.”

“That’s fine.”

He meets with the family, one at a time.

“Wow! You are big, aren’t you?” Haymitch chuckles.

“Katniss tells us you work in construction.” Effie asks.

“Yes. I’m a construction manager. We’ve got this big job currently which has been a great challenge…”

I turn to see Prim talking to Thresh. I hadn’t realized he had shown up and I see Rory standing to the side, almost red in fury.

“Here you are.” Peeta says, handing me a glass of wine. “Cheers.

“Cheers.” I sip my wine. “Can I ask your advice?”

“Yes. I’m a great advice giver.”

“But I can’t say anything specific and I can’t name names.”

“Challenge accepted.”

"If you knew something about someone close to you, but telling them could jeopardize their relationship because it's a previous relationship…"

“You should absolutely tell.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Holding back the truth will only lead to extreme badness. Even if it’s not for years, you will live with the dread of it knocking on your door. And that’s enough to ruin your sleep.”

“Ha. Wow.”

“Can you tell that I, too, once said nothing?”

“Mm.” I agree, sipping my wine again. Looking over at Thresh and Prim.

I spend the majority of my night with Peeta. We don't speak much, just sit with each other and listen to the live music. We exchange a few words here and there but I watch the room. Watch my family interact with Henry. Watch Prim trying to figure out her love life.

“Bye guys.” Henry says, waving goodbye to my family.

“Oh, you’re off?” I ask.

“Yeah, yeah, I should go. Mom’s got Preston.” He tells me. "Um… We should get away for a weekend sometime. Just the two of us."

“That’d be wonderful.” I smile. “Thanks for hanging around. I hope you weren’t interrogated too much.”

“Well…” He says leaning in to kiss my cheek.

“Oh!”

"Bye." He says, leaving the pub.

The night winds down and Thresh comes towards me to hug me goodbye. “See you, Katniss.”

“Bye, Thresh.”

Rory comes over with Prim. “Good to see you again mate.”

“You too.”

“Take care.”

“Yep.”

I leave Thresh to finish saying goodbye to Prim and head on home. I was exhausted after a long day.

I bring Willow home with Rory and Prim, and Rory carries her inside for me.

Prim comes and finds me in the nursery while Rory showers.

“How did Rory feel after Thresh showed up?”

“Fine. As always. Just completely unruffled and fine.”

“And you? I mean, you weren’t expecting him there.”

“I feel Ok. I’m lucky. I should thank the universe for Rory… and you and everyone.” She says. “Ah. Peeta told Layla that she’s lovely but that he’s too hung up on someone else to get involved right now.”

"Oh, he didn't. That's his ex." I tell her. “He told me he was over her.”

“Yeah, but he could have mentioned something earlier. A bit of honesty.” Prim states, shrugging her shoulders.

_Honesty. Now’s the time. Tell her._

“Thresh broke up with Carly.” I tell her.

_Shit._

“What?”

“He told me today.” I tell her. “I… I didn’t know whether… I should tell you or whether I should leave him to decide whether he wants you to know… which he obviously doesn’t.”

“Why did you tell me?”

“Because I… I didn’t think it was fair that I knew something like that and you didn’t.” I tell her. “I don’t want to change things for you. I know you’re happy, but…”

“You have. You’ve changed everything.” She tells me, stepping out of the room.

And I know I've stuffed it up.

* * *

Willow gurgles in the stroller as we stroll along the next morning. She's engrossed in a book, trying her best to read it aloud to me as we walk.

I hate to admit it but Willow is already a genius.

We were on our way to meet Madge and Axel at a café for a quick coffee and morning debrief. She would then take Willow for a couple of hours until Prim picked her up.

My phone rings and I see Henry’s name appear on the screen.

I honestly don’t know how he felt after last night.

My family was protective and even more protective after what happened with Thom. They didn't want me broken again so soon.

“Hi.”

_“Hey, how are you?”_

“Yeah good. Just a little tired.”

_“Willow didn’t sleep for you?”_

“I couldn’t sleep for once.” I tell him. I tossed and turned all night deliberating what had happened with Prim.

We chat for a couple of minutes, me clarifying my family for him, telling him the connections and slight history of our family.

“Anything else relating to last night?” I ask him.

_"Yeah, I didn't realize that… So Thom actually was in medicine as well was he?"_

“I didn’t know you didn’t know that.” I reply. _Did I mention Thom to him at all?_

_“Well, I didn’t realize the two of you met that way through college.”_

"Yeah, we did." I tell him as Willow starts crying. "Oh, sorry, Henry, Willow is crying, I should…”

_“Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go.”_

“I’ll talk later.” I tell him, flustered slightly.

_“Sure.”_

I end the call confused. _Have I been avoiding talking about Thom?_

I shake my head and move to tend to Willow, seeing what’s wrong with her.

Madge rushes into the café, Axel on her chest in the Ergo carrier.

"I'm so sorry. This little one threw up all over me so I had to do a mad dash and change clothes… Sorry, I'm late." She apologizes, sinking down into the chair across from me. "Hi, Lo-Lo."

“All good. You sure you’re right to watch Willow? I can take her to Mom’s and Cressida can watch her?”

“No, leave her with me.” She tells me with a smile. “We’ll be fine.”

“Thanks.” I smile.

The waitress takes our orders and I know Madge is meaning to ask the hard-hitting question.

“So, Thresh is back.”

“Thresh is back.”

“Why?”

And I relay to her what he told me yesterday.

“So what does that mean?” She asks me.

“I don’t know. Prim and I had some words last night and then she went to bed with Rory. She was gone by the time I woke up. She text me to let her figure it out so I have.”

“She won’t go back to him will she? He broke things off with her and moved across the country. And she’s with Rory now. The two of them, just click.”

“I don’t know. I just let her be and figure it out on her own. She’s capable enough.”

“You know Rory asked if she wanted to move in with him?” Madge tells me.

"I do. Prim was finding every excuse under the sun but I told her they had been friends their whole lives. They know each other to make it work. And they were making it work in their own awkward way.”

Madge laughs agreeing with me. “I don’t know how I want this to end. I mean he’s my brother-in-law and Prim is like a sister to me. I want to feel protective of both of them but if they end it, it means that one will be left broken hearted.”

“I know.” I sigh.

The waitress delivers our coffees and Madge reaches for the sugar.

“Hey… sorry, just about last night with Henry, was there a lot of talk about Thom?” I ask her.

“Well, he basically knows everything, doesn’t he?” Madge asks me, skirting around my question.

“Yeah, he knows.” I lie.

“Have you actually talked about it?” Madge asks. “I mean, isn’t he a widower too? Has he told you much about his wife?”

“We’ve only been going out for a month. We haven’t exactly had the whole exes conversation.”

“I think it’s a bit bigger than the exes conversation.” Madge states. “For both of you.”

We do the baby change over, Willow going happily with Madge.

“See you later, sweetie.”

“She’ll be fine.” Madge tells me. “Come on kiddies, let’s see how good I would be at wrangling twins.” She says, pushing the stroller out of the café. She swapped Willow into the Ergo and Axel into the stroller, Axel a bit more fidgety than Willow.

I walk to work, anxious over what they will all say to me.

“Hi.” Johanna greets me enthusiastically.

“Henry! He’s great.” Rue tells me with a big smile.

“He is.” Peeta agrees.

“He’s nice too. Really nice.” Johanna adds. “I wasn’t there but I heard.”

“Thanks.” I say ending anymore-awkward enthusiasm about Henry. “Can I ask, was there a lot of talk about Thom last night with Henry?”

“I thought Henry knew all about Thom?” Rue says.

“Yeah.” I reply, nodding and walking off.

I really needed to talk to Henry.

\---

I return Prim’s missed call after my first consultation of the day.

“Prim, I’m so sorry I couldn’t take your call. How’d it go?” I ask her.

_She sniffles and I know she’s upset. “Not good.”_

“In what way?” I ask her. She sent a text telling me she was meeting both Thresh and Rory to talk. I knew she hadn’t yet seen Rory.

_“I blurted.”_

“Oh, Prim.”

_“Madge said she’d keep Willow for a little while. Now I’m meant to focus on lunch with Rory. I’m parked around the corner. I don’t know that I’m gonna be able to face it.”_

“Maybe it’s not a great idea if you go and see Rory right now. Just make an excuse. I’ll ring him if you like, say you’re suddenly sick.”

_“Fuckity, fuckity, fuckity, fuck!” She curses. “He’s here and he’s got shopping. Katniss, sorry. Sorry.” She says ending the call._

* * *

After lunch, Peeta and I deliver a healthy baby girl and while he resumes patient care, I retreat to my office for the rest of the day filling in paperwork and charts before I do a final check up on my new Mom.

I head to the locker room and pull out my phone dialing Henry's number.

_“You’ve called Henry Gloss. Please leave me a message.”_

“Hi Henry, it’s me again. Sorry for all these messages. I just think it’d be great if we could catch up for some breakfast or something tomorrow. Just let me know.”

I end the call and turn around to see Peeta at his cubby, rubbing lotion into his hands. “Message regret?” He asks.

“Huh? Oh, no, I’m probably making something out of nothing.” I tell him and turn back to my cubby, getting my things ready to leave for the day.

“Hey, for what it’s worth. I spoke to Henry last night. And, you know, I thought he was coping pretty brilliantly.”

“So he seemed good to you?”

“Yeah, yeah. He’s, you know, he’s…he’s pleasant. He is a nice, pleasant bloke.” He tells me, stashing his ID into his bag.

"No, no, I mean, he's, I mean, I am interested to hear that. I meant he seemed to be doing OK with everything?" I ask. "I'm realizing I might have been avoiding talking about Thom unconsciously." I admit.

We leave the hospital together and he listens to me. “I mean, if you were stepping into a relationship with someone like me, in my situation would you want to talk about it?”

“I’m not sure I’m the right person to be asking. I’m usually an over sharer.” He smiles. I laugh. “But, what has he said to you?”

“Not a lot either.” I frown. “And, sorry, what did you think of him? I cut you off before.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s great. You know, he really… holds eye contact.”

“Yes, he does!”

“He’s like a laser beam.” Peeta adds.

He drives me home and we wait in his car for a while. I can’t will myself to leave just yet.

“I can’t decide whether he really wants me to open up or whether he wants it just to be light and fun.”

“Well, maybe stop worrying about what he wants and just decide what it is that you want.” He suggests. “Don’t worry too much, ok?”

I nod. "Thanks, Peeta."

I walk through the door, hearing Willow’s babbling and gurgles and go and greet her in her walker.

“Hi, are you waving?” I ask her, waving back. “I missed you.”

I kiss her head and find Prim standing in the kitchen.

“Oh, hi. How did you go today with Rory?” I ask her.

Linden appears from out of my pantry, startling me. “Oh, Linden!”

"If I may answer." Linden speaks. Prim nods for him to go ahead. "Both of us are in emotional tailspins that have left us questioning not only all of our life choices but the very makeup of our entire family. Furthermore, the house is devoid of chips, nuts, bread, wine, and sugar. I will rectify this situation. Prim, commence unloading." Linden says as he leaves the house for Wal-Mart.

“Not well?”

“Depends on the criteria.” She begins. “I told him Thresh wasn’t in that relationship anymore and that it had impacted me.”

“How did he cope with that?”

“Almost surreally well.” She says. “He said, you can’t hate people for what they feel. You can only judge someone on the choices they make in response to those feelings.”

“Wow.

“Yeah.” She smiles. “But I think I kind of fucked it.” She grimaces. “I told him I was choosing this. Him.” She sits down at the table. “And he thought there was no option with Thresh, that the option was off the table. If the door was still ajar.”

“Prim.”

“I told him no and he said that I should take some time.” She says. “And then as I was leaving he told me he loves me.” She reveals. “I’m going back there tomorrow night, hopefully with my head in order. I have 24 hours to get this train back on the tracks. I probably won’t be sleeping. Neither will you.” I roll my eyes but go along with it.

She was my sister and she was in dire needs of some advice and help.

By the time Linden arrives back, Willow is down for the night and Prim and I are in our pajamas.

“I may have over catered.” Linden announces, sitting down in the armchair. The coffee table is covered in all types of unhealthy foods. Most of our favorite childhood snacks within arms reach.

“This is just like our teenage years. You know, staying up late and I’d tell you guys’ scandalous secrets." I smile.

"We'd do prank calls." Prim laughs

“Mmh.” Linden agrees. “And you’d lose your shit.”

“Oh, I didn’t lose my shit.” I defend myself. “I’d be the one who’d get in trouble from Mom and Dad if they found out. I was the responsible one of you two.”

“You were always threatening to tell Mom.” Prim states.

“And then you’d fall into a deep sleep.”

“So deep that he’d be able to draw a penis on your body.” Prim says laughing along with Linden.

“Let’s prank call now!” Linden says.

“No.” I reply. “Hang on, didn’t you say you were in a crazy, emotional tailspin and you need to urgently deal with it?” I remind him. “What’s going on?”

"Did you know that Cressida wanted to study medicine?" He asks and we both shake our heads. "Neither did I." He tells us. "I came home and Haymitch was talking to her about at least taking the test." He says. "It had been this whole big thing that had been going on for months and she hadn't told me." He sighs. "I asked her about it and she denied it, told me that we couldn't do it because of the kids and my business. And I tried to give her my perspective. Told her that because of the stuff I had going on, ruled her out of what she'd love to do. She found that annoying. And I tried to get the parental figures to speak to her and that is when it really went wrong."

He tells us what Mom, Dad, and Haymitch told her, how she angrily stormed off, insulting the ethos of our family.

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.” Linden agrees.

“She’s right.” I say. “It’s harsh, but… she’s right. Our parents have acted like teenagers all their lives.”

“It hasn’t affected you. You’ve been middle-aged since you were 14.” Prim notes.

“I don’t know. I’ve completely avoided talking to Henry at all about Thom. It’s a big thing to leave out.” I admit. “None of us have had a template for a mature, committed relationship.”

Linden climbs over me to embrace Prim. He places his hands on our backs. "Alright, from this point, a pledge of maturity. We give each other the grown-up advice that we are never gonna get from Mom or Dad."

He opens up the bottle of creaming soda and pours it into three glasses.

“We can’t toast the pledge of maturity on creaming soda.” I state.

“Uh, yes, we can. It’s perfect. Plus, the maturity deal doesn’t set in until sunrise.” He informs us.

We toast and drink.

“Does that mean for the next six hours, we’re obliged to act juvenile?” Prim asks.

“What?” I ask.

“Logically, yes, it does.” Linden states.

He reaches for his cell phone, sets his phone to private number and searches through his contacts for the perfect numbers to prank.

“We can’t prank Haymitch.” I tell him. “He’ll know it’s us.”

Linden laughs and dials anyway.

"Hello, is there a Mr. Wall there, please?" He asks Haymitch with an accent on.

_“Uh, I think you’ve got the wrong number.”_

“This is stupid.” I cry into Prim’s hand. “It’s not funny!” Prim shushes me.

"Is there a Mrs. Wall there, please?"

_“There are no Walls here. Sorry.” Haymitch tells him as politely as Haymitch can._

“Then may I ask, what’s holding up your roof?” Linden asks before ending the call and running back to the couch, Prim cracking up and me sulking from embarrassment.

_"Chaff Jones, Ph.D." Chaff answers._

“Hello.” Prim answers with an almost German accent. “Is your refrigerator running?”

_“Yes.” He replies._

“Well then, you better go and catch it.” Prim tells him, ending the call with a wicked laugh.

Prim pins my face down on the lounge, holding my arms behind my back and Linden holds the phone to my ear.

“Do the voice. Do the voice.” Linden whispers to me as we call Dad’s business nemesis.

_“William Tenor.”_

“Hello. This is Martinez.” I say to him in a thick European accent. “Did you want your penguin called Pablo?”

_“Is that Katniss Everdeen?”_

“Oh, God.” I whisper thrashing about. “Hang up!”

“What happened?”

“What did he say?”

“He said, “is that Katniss Everdeen?” I tell them and we all laugh like mad.

We might have been a little hopped up on too much sugar, silliness, and nostalgia over our childhoods.

* * *

 

I leave early to meet Henry for coffee at the park near my house. I walk through the park as the day is beginning.

He text me the night before, apologizing for being AWAL.

This was my favorite thing to do before Willow. Go for early morning walks to clear my head and prepare myself for the day.

I find Henry on a park bench with two coffees and smile and wave at him.

“Thank you for being so good about everyone talking about Thom.” I thank him. “It must have been strange.”

“Well, it’s new. I haven’t really dated since my 20s when none of us really had any…”

“Baggage?”

“Well, any history at all. It’s like… every relationship, you’d be a different person.”

“Is that the kind of relationship you want?”

“What do you want?” He asks.

“Well, if you told me a few months ago that I’d be going out on dates, I would have laughed. If you told me that I’d be even vaguely considering getting serious with someone…” I laugh. “But I… I think the thing that seemed… impossible was… that I could still have Thom in my thoughts and be looking at someone…a man… and feeling the way I feel about you right now.” He smiles. “Would I be Ok if I spoke about him a bit? I know everyone is going on about him incessantly. I’m sorry.”

“No. There’s a lot I don’t know.” He says. “I don’t know his last name.”

"Evans." I say aloud. "His last name was Evans." I smile and he smiles at me, reaching out to hold my hand.

* * *

“New admission down in suite 4.” Rue tells me, answering the phone. “Victor Wing.”

I thank her and wander down to the birthing suite where Peeta is waiting for me.

"Here's Dr. Everdeen now." Peeta announces.

“Hi, Chanel. I’m Katniss. It’s a bit of a surprise, is it?” I ask her.

“Yeah.” She responds.

“Chanel is a few weeks away from her due date. She was in a business meeting when her waters broke. But the contractions are quite rapid.” He informs me.

“Right.”

“And you?” I ask the other woman in the room.

"It's my sister Chloe." Chanel says. "I haven't been able to get on to my husband."

“Oh, Ok, well, why don’t we get Chloe onto that and we’ll lie you down and have a look.” I suggest. “See how you’re going.”

Peeta helps me move her up onto the bed, Chanel finds a comfortable position and I let her take her time before I examine her.

"You're about 6 centimeters." I tell her, snapping off my gloves. "You're not moving anywhere." I smile, trying to be as comforting as possible. "Rest up. It's going to be a long night."

Peeta finds me down in my office later one. “Hey.”

“Hi! Is she a bit calmer?” I ask.

“Yeah, yeah. I think that it’s finally registered that it’s not a great idea to drive 90 minutes out to The Districts.” He tells me. “So I think it’s under control.”

"Good." I nod. "Oh, by the way, thank you for your advice yesterday." I watch him cock his head to the side. "About Henry." I clarify.

“Oh, did I offer advice?”

“Well, you offered observations. Smart observations that I did act on.”

“Oh, really.” He replies. He is looking at me strangely and I try my best to ignore it.

“Yeah, we met this morning and we spoke about Thom.” I tell him. “Um, I was worried it was going to be this whole big, weird thing. But it just happened naturally which is very rare for me.”

“Good. And you do feel good about it?” He asks.

“I think so.” I say turning my chair to the side. “Yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel… lighter, somehow. So, thank you.”

"Thank you for the non-advice?" He asks. I see him try not to laugh.

"Well, that non-advice was very effective."

“Good.” He says. “Um, did you know that you have a cock and balls drawn on your neck?” I look at him confused and he points to his neck. “Just there.”

“Linden.” I curse. “I’m going to kill him.” I mutter, fixing my scarf.

\---

“That’s it. That’s it. You’re doing well, Chanel. Just take a breather.” I tell her, fixing the blankets back over her legs.

Her sister comes into the room. “Hey, I got onto him. He’s en route to Districts.”

“No!” Chanel groans and reaches out for the phone. “I can’t be moved.” She tells her husband. “Yeah, I’m fine, but you have to come here now. It’s… Can you do it?” She asks her sister.

“Yeah, it’s off Nicholson Street, just near the park.”

“It’s alright. You’re still a good hour away, Chanel.” I tell her, filling in her chart.

“Oh, he’ll make it. He’ll make it for sure.” Peeta assures her, holding the water for her while she drinks out of it.

“I’m just gonna check in on Kerrie Phillips.” I tell Peeta quietly and leave the room to check in on my new mother. I’m gone for nearly 20 minutes, filling in charts, replying to emails and overlooking my schedule.

Peeta finds me down near my office a little later on.

“Hey. How’s she going?” I ask.

“She’s good. Her husband has arrived.” He tells me, trying to get me to stop from walking towards Chanel’s room.

“Oh, great.”

“But the husband…” He begins to say, exhaling.

“What?”

“It’s Henry.” He says. I’m unsure if I’ve misheard him.“It’s your Henry.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“I’m sure, Katniss.”

I scowl as I walk off towards Chanel’s room. He follows me, hot on my heels.

“Katniss, it’s definitely him, so…”

"No, Henry's a widower. He hasn't remarried since her death.” I tell him, stubbornly walking to the door to peek in through the window.

“Katniss.”

I go to the door, peeking in through the window to see who is this mysterious husband.

And I feel my world crumble around me.

It’s Henry, consoling his ‘dead’ wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, so thoughts. Everyone knew he was dodgy but did you think he was this dodgy? So, sorry to leave it there but next chapter will pick up straight after. 
> 
> I'm so sorry for the long delay in updating. I really wish I had a better excuse but I can't comprehend how quickly time has been passed. Real life has gotten in the way and I hit a patch of writers block but hopefully I'm on the path of writing more and more. I actually got this up sooner than I thought I would. 
> 
> On another note, I've turned off anonymous reviews. I'm sorry for all my loyal readers who weren't registered users and constantly commenting, just for my own sake I had to do it. I also turned anonymous comments off on 'Reverse'. 
> 
> In the meantime, you can find me over on tumblr as Herainab.


	7. Many Roads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is an insight into Peeta's life and a different take on his view of things.

_The screen door slams open, hitting the wall. I cringe because Dad hates the banging of the screen and only one person really does that in the family._

_I cringe and await the words that will be shouted at me._

_"Hey, Weirdo!" He shouts up to me in the tree house. I was trying to sketch a bird that had lingered on the windowsill of the tree house but Dave's voice scared it away._

_I shut my eyes, prepared for what’s to come._

_"I know you're up there!" He shouts. "Get your arse down here."_

_“Why?”_

_“Don’t ask why, just do it before I make you do it.”_

_I don’t give him any more ammunition and make a move, scrambling down the ladder and to the ground where he stands._

_He’s filled out and truly scares me. He was twice my size and easily can take me down. I’ve been a victim of him a few times._

_I try to not argue with my 16-year-old brother anymore. He’s got an agenda with the world and anyone who gets in his way._

_“We’re going to town.”_

_“Dad said we’re not allowed to.”_

_“Dad said we’re not allowed to.” He mocks. “You sound like a girl. Haven’t your balls dropped yet?”_

_I stare at him and try to not show the embarrassment. He called me out for not going through puberty yet. Dad always reminds me it’ll happen._

_“Let’s go.” He grabs my arm and pulls me throughout the house._

_Dad was in town on a date. He had only told Rye and me. Dave couldn’t handle Dad dating anyone else._

_Mom walking out on us had server effects on Dave and he was suffering from some kind of abandonment issues still almost a decade later. He used it to his advantage, talked his way out of things, used his issues to get away with things and severely ruined every relationship Dad has tried to start. Most of the women threatened or scared away from the oldest son._

_“I’ll buy you a comic book if you tell me where Dad is.” Dave tells me as he starts Dad’s car. Dad had gone into town on his motorbike to meet his date._

_“I don’t know where he is.” I tell him._

_He reaches out, twisting my arm behind my back waiting for me to break. “I’ll let go if you spill.”_

_“I don’t know.” I cry._

_“You do. Tell me or I’ll hurt you so badly the doctors won’t be able to fix you.”_

_Tears well in my eyes. “The cinema.”_

_He lets me go and reverses out of the driveway in dad’s car._

_“You’re not allowed to drive alone.”_

_“Tell someone that cares.”_

_He screeches down the road into town and makes for the cinema downtown. The movie they were watching had just ended and Dad and his date were exiting the cinema walking towards his motorbike. Dave pulls up out the front getting everyone’s attention._

_“Come on.”_

_“No.”_

_He pours his coke onto my lap, soaking my pants and pulls me out of the car._

_“Dave, what are you doing? You’re not supposed to be driving.”_

_“Peeta was having a meltdown.” He tells Dad and pushes me towards him and his date. “And because you were gone he had an accident. He was scared you were going to leave him for a new woman.”_

_And this is what else Dave did. He humiliated his brothers in a public space, always resorting back to our mother leaving and the severe issues we were dealing with. Mine today was I had feared dad had left which I knew he hadn’t. Dad knew Dave was lying but it was enough to turn his date off._

_People laughed and snickered at me and my wet pants and Dad’s date thanked him before she decided to walk._

_Dave was proud of himself for successfully scaring off another date and humiliating his brother and father in public yet again._

* * *

 

“It was nice to meet you, Peeta.” Cecelia says shaking my hand. “We’ll be in contact with you shortly.”

I know what that means. It won’t be me but thanks for flying all the way to interview for a position that I wouldn’t get.

Being a midwife was hard and nearly everyone laughed at me when I told them what I did.

_“You went from being a paramedic to a midwife? Why? You like looking at that much pubic hair?”_

But I found the thing I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to watch babies come into the world, watch couples become families, watch families grow.

And the amount of death I was dealing with on the road, I couldn’t take it anymore. Especially when children were always in my dreams. Children I couldn’t save.

At least most births were happy occasions.

I thank her and collect my bag and she escorts me out of her office and down to the elevator.

I call a cab and wait out the front of the hospital for it. My flight was this afternoon and I didn’t want to risk the traffic and miss my flight. I was doing a fly by. I couldn’t really afford to be away that long.

I check in and head into the terminal, looking for the board.

I move past a lady who is also staring at the board.

Delayed.

The later it’s pushed back the later I will arrive back in LA.

But things were out of my control. And it could be a sign.

I take a seat to overthink the whole interview thing. I think of every wrong thing I said and bad answers.

But the lady from the board sits beside me, we get to talking and an invitation to have a drink has us talking even more.

I have to admit, after the long and drawn out breakup with my girlfriend, I haven’t really found anyone attractive. I’ve had a lot of failed dates and some hook-ups as Rye calls it, cleansing the palette.

And I’ve done enough palette cleansing the last 12 months that I’m ready to find something serious or that will last longer than one night. Especially someone who isn’t freaked out by the prosthetic leg.

She’s quite stunning. Beautiful actually. Very unique in looks and stands out for all the right reasons. She is glowing.

I fake annoyance when my flight is canceled. There's a chance I want more of this. More of a chance to know this woman and when the words fall out of my mouth inviting her back to the room with me, I'm embarrassed. But it’s not a stupid proposal.

Especially when she agrees.

I’m nervous and can tell Katniss is too as we step into my hotel room.

“I think you are… so beautiful.” I tell her with a shy grin. It’s the truth. She really is beautiful.

I learn more about her in the silence of the room as we kiss and undress.

She doesn’t care about the prosthetic.

And I learn that she’s a mom. A new one as well.

I try to not wonder what happened for her to be here with me. She has a ring on. She's with me in a hotel room. She's a mom. Has life screwed her over? Has a man not loved her for who she is and abandoned her with a new baby? Has the relationship just naturally broken down? Has life been cruel to her and the father of her baby being taken from this world?

But I try to not overthink it. I was trying to be in the present.

She’s awkward and I know something is on her mind but I try to just focus on her.

She stops us, almost in tears and I comfort her. I know there’s more to the whole casual sex thing. Something is on her mind.

“I just want you to know how beautiful you are.” I tell her softly. “Thank you.”

She kisses my cheek and rolls away from the bed collecting her clothes. She dresses as quickly as she can and in the darkness, I can see the tears still welling in her eyes.

I kneel on the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch her life and turn her to face me. I cup her face in my hands and lean in to kiss her goodbye.

"Thank you, Katniss." I whisper. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” I tell her. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

She slips out of the room and I watch her leave. Watch the door close behind her. Never to see her again.

I slip into the shower and climb under the covers and watch some late night TV.

My phone rings and I see Delly’s name on the screen.

She was weeks away from delivering and I wondered if she had gone into labor.

“Delly, hi.”

_“Peeta.” She cries._

“What’s happened?” I ask her, sitting up in bed.

_“It’s Dave.” She begins. “He’s gotten worse over the last few months. He’s paranoid that I would leave him when the baby came. I’m scared Peeta. Scared for what he might do when she’s finally here.” She cries. “He’s become aggressive and overpowering. He’s jealous of me and hates me going to work or doing the shopping. He is getting out of control and I need help. I need your help. Can you come and get me?” She cries._

“I’ll be on the first flight tomorrow.” I tell her. “I promise.”

_“Thank you.”_

“Do you feel safe to stay another night?”

_“Yes.” She hiccups. “He’s gone away for the week.”_

“I’ll call Rye and we’ll try and get there tomorrow for you.”

_“Thank you, Peeta.”_

“It’s what family does.”

* * *

 

_“Hey.”_

_I turn around and see Dave approaching me. He’s in his suit ready._

_“Hey.” I smile at him and look out the window of the church towards the beautiful gardens outside. “You ready?”_

_He nods with a smile. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”_

_He joins me at the window and we watch the world pass slowly._

_"Look Peeta, I want to apologize for not having you in the party."_

_I shrug it off. “It’s fine.” I tell him. It wasn’t, I was deeply hurt when he asked for just Rye but didn’t get into it. It’d cause drama and a scene and I didn’t want Dave blowing up._

_“I should have asked you but Delly only wanted a small party and I had only one other person I could choose. I chose Tim because he’s my best mate, you know.”_

_"Dave I don't care. I don't need your explanation of why you didn't choose me. We're not close, we have never been. I don't care."_

_"Yes, you do."_

_I groan. “Don’t do this now.” I tell him. “You’re about to get married and I don’t want to remember this day and the argument I had with you. It’ll ruin the day.”_

_I turn to walk away from him but he grabs me. “You don’t get to act spoilt today.” He says. “It’s not all about you.”_

_“You brought it up.”_

_He shoves me against the wall, holding me against the wall with his fist. His face is inches from mine._

_“You’re spoilt and always have been. Just because you’re the baby of the family doesn’t mean you get to act like one all the time.”_

_“I am not.” I tell him. “You’re the one who brought this all up. You made it about you.”_

_“Bullshit.”_

_“Fuck off, Dave.” I tell him, trying to push him away from me._

_He stumbles backward and the anger crosses his face. He stares at me like a bull, his nostrils flaring and his body raring up._

_His fist ends up connecting with my face, a crack sounding to my nose and I fall in pain._

_The fight is ended with Rye tackling Dave against the wall urging him to calm down. Tim comes in to talk him down._

_“Dude, what are you doing?”_

_“He started it.” He blames me. I roll my eyes and touch my fingers to my nose. It was definitely broken and I considered actually going to the ER instead of watching my brother get married._

_“Come on, we’re taking a walk.” Tim tells him, pushing him out the door._

_Rye checks me over, handing me a couple of tissues._

_“What happened?”_

_“Dave happened.” I answer and Rye seems to understand._

_“You’re going to need to go to the ER.” He tells me. “It might be good if you miss the ceremony. You both need to cool off. You can come back to the reception and hopefully Dave will be drunk enough to not realize you're there." I roll my eyes. "It's not your fault."_

_And I never regretted missing the ceremony for Dave’s sake._

_But I did when I saw Delly later at the reception._

_“You missed it.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_She tries to not show too many emotions, wipes underneath her eyes, straightens her posture and moves on to socialize with the many guests who have shown up for her day._

* * *

 

She’s a mess by the time I arrive the next day. She’s hardly slept and hardly eaten. Her personal hygiene has taken a turn and I urge her to jump in the shower while I make some food for us and do some washing.

Rye was meeting us this afternoon.

I don’t know how we were going to do it. I was jobless and had a small student loan. I had put in for jobs all over LA but nothing. I had my savings, the inheritance from Dad’s estate but I wanted to save that for a house or holiday.

Delly eats, lays down for a nap and I begin to make arrangements. We had her car and I hired a trailer for us to move her possessions to LA. I sourced boxes and got them ready for us to pack.

Dave wouldn't be home until next week. I was hoping we'd have her things in the trailer and halfway to LA.

Rye and his girlfriend come over and the four of us have most of Delly’s things packed.

My phone rings early that morning as we tidy up the house.

“Peeta speaking?”

_“Peeta, it’s Cecilia from your interview on Friday. How are you?”_

“Oh good thank you.”

_“So sorry to be calling on a Sunday morning but I would like to offer you the job.” She tells me. “You’d start right away.”_

“Wow.”

_“Are you alright?”_

“Yeah, just wasn’t expecting it.” I admit to her. “Can I call you back? I’ve just got to discuss it all with my family first.”

_“Of course. I look forward to hearing from you.”_

I hang up the phone and look at Delly.

“What is it?”

“They offered me the job in Panem. I thought I was appalling.” I admit to her.

“Obviously not.” She smiles. “Are you going to take it?”

“I don’t know. We were going to go back to LA.”

“We can go anywhere.” She smiles. “Especially Panem.”

I’m on the phone accepting the job as Delly searches for accommodation for us until we found a house, preferably with a short-term lease until we found a house.

It’s a juggling act and we managed to work it all out. We’d drive to LA. I'd fly to LA with Rye and pack my things then we'd drive to Panem together. Jules would stay with Delly until I came back and she and Rye would drive back to Portland where Rye would start to help Dave.

Things were looking up slightly.

* * *

 

A week later, I’m downtown with a real estate agent reviewing a short 6-month lease of a house. The agent was very friendly and understanding of our situation.

“When’s your sister-in-law due?”

“Any day.” I laugh.

“You’re doing a good thing for her.”

“Thanks.”

I sign the lease and am handed the keys.

Rye and Jules had gone back last night to Portland. Dave was returning home and Rye wanted to be there moment he arrived home.

I had treated Delly to a day of pampering. She was getting her hair done, a manicure and pedicure and I told her to leave everything for me to organize.

I drive to our new house, begin bringing all the boxes into the house and placing them in the right room. It didn't take me long to pack up my apartment. I had hardly replaced the things Madison took in the breakup and basically lived out of a couple of suitcases.

I lose track of my phone during the day and don't realize it's missing until that afternoon when I go to call Delly seeing if she’s ready to be picked up.

There is a dozen missed calls and texts from her and from another number.

_Where are you? I think I’m in labor?_

_Peeta, I’m having contractions. Please call me back._

_Where are you?_

_They’ve called an ambulance for me._

_My waters have broken. I’m being transferred to St Justice._

_Peeta?_

“Shit!”

I search for her hospital bag; she told me she’d leave it out in case she went into labor during our stay in the motel. I drive back to the motel, finding our suitcases and find her hospital bag in the closet of her room.

I call her on the way to the hospital.

“Del, I’m so sorry. I’m on my way now. I’ve got your bag. Just breathe and I’ll be there soon.”

Traffic is mayhem for the afternoon and I curse as I try to navigate my way through the city. The GPS barks at me and I slowly begin to lose patience with it.

I park in the hospital car park, grab her bag and race on in. I’m directed to the maternity ward and ask for her room number.

I rush in the door, apologizing to Delly.

“Katniss, this is Peeta.”

And I lock eyes with my hotel fling. The fling that lied to me about being a florist. The supposed florist I lied to about being an astronomer and that I will be working with as a midwife.

Fuck.

* * *

 

_Dad’s death came upon us quickly. One day he was standing, laughing with us all drinking a beer as we had a barbeque._

_It was for his birthday and Dad truly seemed happy. He had retired from the business, Rye stepping up to the task. He was the only one who really liked working in the business world and wanted to carry on the Mellark business._

_Dad had just returned from a 6-month trip around Europe with one of his old school friends. One of his first loves. She was newly single, having divorced her bitter husband and was ready for some change. Dad and she ran into each other one night in the supermarket, she was back to town, and they went and got coffee._

_And Dad has been smiling ever since._

_I just hope Dave doesn’t spoil it._

_We celebrated Dad’s birthday and the next morning we were called with the news he had died. An aneurysm. A ticking time bomb. Dad didn’t know he had it, it burst during his sleep and he never woke up._

_It was nice for him to go without pain._

_His death hits Dave hard. He takes it harder than Rye and I and we steer clear of Dave. Delly consoles him as best she can as we arrange his funeral._

_Dave and Delly move into the family home after the funeral and it’s not long after they announce they’re expecting their first child._

_I’m based in LA studying midwifery and keep the distance between Dave and me. We hadn’t made amends nearly a year after the wedding and he had no remorse for what he did. I kept in contact with Delly occasionally._

_The pregnancy ends as quickly as it started. Rye phones to tell me Delly miscarried. The couple were devastated and decide to hit the road and travel for a while. It had been a rollercoaster of emotions since Dad’s death and getting out and breathing was best for them both._

_Dave's behavior was shifting quickly but Rye nor I commented. Delly didn’t mention anything and we assumed things were fine._

_A few months after they returned home, Delly was pregnant again. I was close to finishing up my course. And Dave was getting worse._

_But Rye and I didn’t notice as the baby grew inside of Delly, Dave was becoming more and more paranoid and the aggression was building ready to burst at any point._

* * *

 

I notice the bruise on Delly’s back later that night. She’s been in labor for a number of hours now and is getting close to the end. I rub her back and with the gap in her gown, I can see the purple bruise.

“Did he do this to you?” I ask her.

She doesn't answer me but I know the truth. I can sense the truth. And I feel like a failure. I feel as if I failed her. I should have known. I've been a first responder to many domestic incidents and I've seen the bruises, the behavior, and the marks.

I’ve just missed the signs with Delly.

“I’m here for you, Del.”

She nods into the oxygen mask and closes her eyes as another contraction hits and she breathes into the mask. I rub her back, encourage her to breathe and time the contractions for her.

Hours later as she snoozes soundly in her bed. Her newborn daughter delivered safely. I nurse Maisy, seated in the chair in the corner in the darkened room.

She’s breathtaking and I promise her to look after her and protect her always.

I know I should clear things up with Katniss but that could wait. I had a house to unpack for Delly and Maisy to come home to. I didn’t want Delly stressed over a thing after what she’s been through. I don’t push the subject and just let her have her time with Maisy.

Rye kept me updated regarding Dave and said it wasn’t pretty when he returned to a half packed home. He almost went at Rye with a fist and took off. Rye didn’t tell him where Delly went to protect her and the baby.

Rye did congratulate Delly on Maisy and promised he'd be down to visit when he could. Jules would fly down tomorrow morning and help me with the house and meet her niece.

And I’d be starting work on Monday morning.

* * *

 

Katniss is a brilliant doctor especially for her young age; she just seems to know what to do in every situation.

She’s my favourite doctor to work with and the two of us seem to click and know what each other needs before we even ask. I’ve quickly picked up on her hand gestures and facial expressions to know what she needs.

We’ve grown closer in the last couple of months. More a professional relationship than a personal one but she’s let me in on little bits of her life slowly whilst I’ve done the same. I’ve offered her advice. She’s done the same.

“You’re so into her.” Delly comments.

We have left the house with Katniss watching Maisy while we see the lawyer.

“Am not.” I rebuff.

“You can’t lie to me. I know you too well.” She smirks, pointing her finger at me. “Why don’t you go there?”

I roll my eyes. “Because it’s complicated.” I tell her.

“How?”

“She’s seeing someone else.” I tell her. “I think I scared her off.”

“How?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but the two of us slept with each other before we actually knew each other.”

“What?”

“It was when I was flying back after my interview. We were both delayed in the airport and we had a few drinks and I invited her back to the hotel room. It was her first time after her husband and I think she freaked out a bit.”

“How far did you go?”

“All the way just…”

Delly nods. “The first person you sleep with after the death of your loved one is always hard. And you happened to be that person who she shared the moment with. She was probably a bit insecure and embarrassed about a number of things. And maybe she felt like she was betraying her husband in some way." She says.

“I don’t think she likes me in that way at all. We’re more friends than anything else and I’m fine with that.”

"No, you're not." Delly tells me.

“Katniss is like a bird in the woods. You can’t move too quickly or she’ll fly away.”

“But what’s the thing she’s got with the new guy?”

I didn’t try to think about it too much but I picked up on things she said at work or phone conversations.

“I don’t think she’s really giving him her heart.” I tell her. “It’s casual. Katniss is someone who is never really honest with her feelings unless she’s really close to you.” I sigh. “She’s trying to move on, trying to get off the speeding train and navigate her life the best she can. She might find similar interests in Henry that she can relate to. I mean he’s a widower too. He’s got a kid.”

“She won’t settle down with him.” Delly says.

“Why do you say that?”

"Katniss will eventually open her eyes, step off that speeding train and actually realize what's in front of her." She says. "It's like getting into a relationship quickly after one ends, most of the time the second one hardly works out as it's usually a rebound and the person was just trying to get over their ex." Delly smiles. "Henry is just her rebound, you'll see."

“What if he’s not?”

“It won’t last. He’s going to break her heart.”

“How do you know this?”

“I always know.” She says. “I’m like the relationship expert.” She laughs. “I always told you Madison wasn’t the girl for you.”

“I know, I should have listened.”

“It would have served years of heartbreak and then deciding who kept the dog. I saw more grief in deciding over the dog than actually dividing DVD’s.” She chuckles. “The right girl is out there for you. Maybe you should date some more, meet new people and just slot yourself back into the scene.”

“I’m too old for that.” I tell her. “And no one takes my career seriously. I need someone who’s mature enough to accept my career not who asks if I get off on seeing women in labor. What kind of sicko thinks that?”

Delly laughs. “Immature people. It’s a beautiful career. You’re given the chance to watch babies come into the world.”

“And why can’t people understand that?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Katniss would be perfect for you.”

“I think we squashed a chance of that happening.”

“Then date.”

“I don’t feel like I’m in the dating mood either. It’s just so much effort for disappointment.”

She touches my hand to squeeze it. "Well, Maisy and I love you even if you decide to live a bachelor life. You're wonderful in our eyes and some girl will realize how wonderful you are. You've just got to work through the bullshit before you get to the end.”

I drive us home after the meeting with the lawyers and my eyes light up when I see the girls awake. Katniss has both of them feeding and we all sit and chat.

Katniss show’s her concern and offers her support to Delly.

I spy Willow and she eventually is placed on the ground. She shows off how clever she is getting with her walking around the furniture and she smiles as she makes her way to me.

I cuddle her and she happily sits with me. She just seemed to be at ease with me and I loved cuddles with the baby. She was a beautiful girl that her mother should be proud of. Katniss has done a great job raising little Willow and I know Willow will be proud of her mother when she understands.

I step inside once I wave Katniss and Willow off and Delly is smirking at me.

“You’re so smitten.” She smiles. “At least her daughter likes you.”

* * *

 

I wake up with Maisy, taking her out of her crib, changing her diaper and cuddling her until she’s ready for a feed.

I make myself breakfast and prep my lunch for work. Maisy sits in the bouncer, watching me curiously.

At three months old she’s a splitting image of her mother and carries the personality of her mother. She’s loud, nosy and friendly. She’s already figured out how to connect with people, to make them feel better. How to compliment them with just a smile or giggle.

She has been the best form of healing for her mother who I know struggles each day. She wants the best for Maisy but is still concerned about Dave every day. Rye keeps us informed when he can and tells us he’s on a mend. He’s changing.

But it’s not enough for me to let him back into my life. He needed help and he wasn’t stepping foot inside this house until I was sure he was a changed man.

Delly wakens when I call her for breakfast and she takes Maisy to nurse.

“See you later, Uncle Peeta.” Delly coos, waving Maisy’s hand at me.

“By my favorite girl.” I coo back, kissing her cheek. “Be a good girl for Mommy.”

“I’m always a good girl.”

“That you are.” I smile, throwing my messenger bag over my shoulder. “See you later. Call if you need anything.”

She was making progress. Getting out and about more. She’s found a parents group that she attends once a fortnight. She gets out and does the grocery shopping. She’s slowly making progress.

I drive to work, arriving earlier than what my roster says but I liked to be there well before I start.

"Hi, lover boy." Johanna greets me. She's at the desk, filling out some paperwork.

“Hey. Going home today?” I ask her.

“I hope so. Katniss was ready for us to head on home. I guess we’ll just wait for her to get here.”

“He’s a star, little Ethan.”

“He is.” She smiles in return. “He’s brilliant. I’m so in love with him.”

I bring Ethan into Enobaria’s room and she thanks me. “I’m going to miss seeing you around.”

“Likewise.” I reply, handing her baby Ethan. “Here you go little man.” I coo, fixing his swaddling. “Has the big sister been by?”

“My parents have brought her during visiting hours. She’s coming to meet us to take him home. She’s so proud and protective of him. Mom even got her a shirt that says, big sister.” She laughs. “It’s corny, I know but…”

“It’s what matters to you.” I finish. “You’ll have memories to look back on when they get older. And memories to remind them of how much they loved each other. You have a beautiful family.”

“Thank you, Peeta.”

I leave her to nurse Ethan, and Johanna enters the room to be with her wife. I wait for Katniss to arrive and man the desk waiting.

The phone rings and I answer the call.

“Victor wing, Peeta speaking.”

_“Peeta, we have a new admission that’s come in.”_

“Thanks. Send her up.”

Two women arrive upstairs and I bring them down to an empty room. The laboring Mom is in some shock.

"She's a few weeks out from her delivery date." Her sister tells me. "She was in a business meeting when her waters broke."

“Ok. How are contractions going?”

“Ongoing.” Chloe tells me.

“And is this your first?”

“Second. My son is about 2 years old.” She pants. “I need to be moved. It’s in The Districts. I’m booked in there. We live there I just commute to the city for work. My husband works in the city during the week.” She states, overwhelmed. “Chloe has got the number.”

Katniss examines Chanel, deems her unfit to move to the Districts and has her admitted. She tells her she’s doing well and says she’ll drop in later on.

I watch Chanel closely for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. Katniss checks on her and moves on to check another patient quickly. She’ll be back.

I write in Chanel’s chart, engage in some conversation with her.

"What's your son's name?" I ask her.

“Preston.”

I smile. “Is he excited to become a big brother?”

She nods. “I think so. He seems interested. Time will tell.”

“And you live in the Districts?”

"Yeah, it's almost a 90-minute drive but it's cheap you know. I work mostly from home and occasionally come into the city. It’s been a bit hectic the last 12 months and we’ve had to adapt. My husband got a big 6-month job here in the city, which would bring him up to Christmas time. The pregnancy was a bit of a surprise and we weren’t expecting to fall pregnant this quickly. We had a plan that by the time the job finished, he’d be back home with us and the baby would be due.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage.”

“I mean we will. We talked about relocating to the city but it was a bit pricey and my husband mostly works within the Districts. He just got a big contract and couldn’t refuse it. And we much prefer our house with the picket fence than being squished in a flat.”

I laugh totally agreeing with her. “So how do you manage it all?”

"Well, I usually have meetings in the city maybe twice a week. They're usually on a Tuesday and Wednesday. My husband's parents live in the city and we all stay with them. My husband will stay the whole week with them and I do two days. We've got Preston in daycare one day while we're here and my husband will take him to swimming lessons and such. Sometimes he’s sister will watch her on one of the afternoons. I usually take Preston home on a Wednesday night and work from home. My husband is home usually on a Friday afternoon and we spend the weekend together unless something comes up with work. It has seemed to have happened the last few weekends he’s always stuck at work on a Saturday but he’ll drop on home for Sunday and head back that night.”

“You seem to have it worked out.”

“It’s called marriage.” She laughs. “It’s hard but you try to make it work the best you can. It helps when you’ve got family support as well.”

Her husband is close to arriving and I monitor and time her contractions and let her squeeze my hand.

“Yeah, we’re just down the main corridor.” Chloe tells Chanel’s husband on the phone.

“There you go, home and hosed.” I tell her and she exhales a relieved breath. I tuck her in and smile at her.

“He’s almost here.” Chloe says.

“Got plenty of time. What were you worried about?” I say to her with a confident and supportive smile.

I pick up her chart and read through it.

“Over here.” Chloe motions to Chanel’s husband.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.” Chanel greets him.

“Hey. I’m so sorry.”

I look up at the entering husband and try to imagine if I’m seeing things. If he’s just a look-alike.

"I was in a meeting. My phone was off." He apologizes to his wife, leaning down to kiss her on the lips. He looks up at me, shocked as he kneels down beside his wife.

“You’re here now.” She smiles. “Where’s Preston? Is he with your sister?” She asks as Henry looks me in the eyes. Embarrassed and scared. “Is he at Cashmere’s?”

"Yeah. Yeah. Cashmere has got Preston. He's fine. He's fine. She's going to take him home." He tells her. "Everything is gonna be…"

I keep the urge to go over and hold this man against the wall.

But it won’t help anyone. It won’t help my job. It won’t help Chanel. It won’t help Katniss.

“This wasn’t the plan.” Chanel says.

“I know. I know.”

I almost feel like I’m going to be sick.

I step out of Chanel’s room, closing the door behind me.

I look down the hallway to my right and there’s Katniss. Beautiful Katniss who has no idea.

She has no idea that this man has been lying to her for weeks and weeks. Lied to her, used her own personal grief to get closer to her. To claim that he was moving on, healing as the days went on.

Beautiful Katniss has been fooled by a fucking asshole.

And not just Katniss, Chanel has been treated just as badly.

And after listening to Chanel tell me stories about her husband and their family, I feel utterly sick for her as well. She's been played as a fool and has no idea what her husband has been up to during the week whilst he's in the city. Chanel who is literally minutes away from delivering their second child has no idea what her husband has done to Katniss, the woman who is about to deliver her baby.

Katniss walks off down the hallway after checking in on our other patient and I ponder what I’m going to say to her. What I will tell her.

I go and find her down near her office.

“Hey. How’s she going?” She asks.

“She’s good. Her husband has arrived.” I tell her, trying to get her to stop.

“Oh, great.”

“But the husband…” I begin to say, exhaling.

“What?”

“It’s Henry.” I tell her, watching her smile a confused smile. “It’s your Henry.”

“But that’s impossible.”

“I’m sure, Katniss.”

She scowls as she walks off towards Chanel’s room. I follow her, to be there when she finds out.

“Katniss, it’s definitely him, so…”

“No, Henry’s a widower. She’s been gone for two years. He hasn’t remarried since her death.” She tells me, stubbornly walking to the door to peak in through the window.

“Katniss.”

She goes to the door, peaking in through the window and I watch her.

I watch her world crumble down around her.

She moves away, looks towards me and I’m sure she’s going to cry.

“What’s he doing in there?” She asks me once she’s found the words.

“Katniss.” I say.

“Whatever the… that is… What’s he…? I’m s… I’m surprised. I’m just… I’m very surprised. There’s… there’s something he hasn’t told me.” She stammers. I can see the emotions building within her.

“Something big.” I state. “You’re not surprised. You’re angry.”

She walks away from the door, turning away from me for a second before she turns to face me. “There must be an explanation. There’s… there’s an explanation.” She says, taking a step to go into the room.

“No, no, no, I don’t think you should go back in there.” I tell her, stepping in between her and the door. “He’s lied to you Katniss. He’s treated you like a fool and you want to go in there and deliver his child? I can’t let you do that. I’ll get another doctor.”

“You and I are the only ones that know Henry is in there.” She says. I watch her swallow the lump in her throat. “I can put my feelings aside. I can. I don’t want anyone to find out.” She confirms and takes those few steps into the room.

I take a moment to calm down, to compose myself and step into the room. I have to be there for Katniss and ensure things go smoothly. I can’t let this man do or say anything that could put everyone at risk in this room.

Chanel is ready and I glove up and assess the situation and note where Katniss wants me.

“Good. Good. Now some shallow breaths.”

“Like we rehearsed Chan.” Chloe reminds her sister.

“Getting very close now, Chanel.” Katniss says.

“I feel like I’m slipping.”

“Henry, why don’t you try supporting her under her arms?” I suggest to him.

“Excellent Chanel. Excellent.” Katniss tells her. “Ok, now we’re ready to push again.”

“Here we go.”

“That’s it, that’s it.” She says. “You’re almost here.” She tells them as their child is delivered. “Well done, here he is.” Katniss announces, holding up the little boy.

The baby boy born to her boyfriend conceived with the wife that was supposedly dead.

“Hey there, Mister.” I greet him holding out a blanket. “There we go.” I coo to the baby and wrap the blanket around him. “Here we go. Let’s meet Mom.”

Katniss snaps off her gloves and looks at Henry, at how excited he is. He turns to her briefly, still smiling before he turns back to his new son and wife. I wish I could see guilt covering his face.

“Ok, Katniss. I think we’ve got it here.” I tell her, offering an out. “I’ll call you if we need you for anything else, OK?” I say, touching her elbow.

“Yes. Good.”

She steps out of the room, dazed and confused.

And I try to maintain a level of professionalism as I tend to Chanel’s post care.

I try to ignore the knot forming in my stomach and do my best to ensure Chanel and the new baby is safe.

After Chanel is feeding comfortably and her post care tended to, I leave the family to bond over the baby.

Katniss finds me at the nurses station a little while later.

“Chaff’s here. He’s staying all night. I can’t leave.” She whispers.

“No, you should go home. I’ll stay and hold the fort.” I tell her.

“No, you can’t stay all night.”

“Go. Go home.” I tell her. “No-one will go into Chanel’s room but me, honestly. Go home.”

She chews her lip for a brief second. “Peeta, I believe that there’s an explanation about Henry and Chanel. A crazy explanation about everything… but in the meantime, I’d like to keep it… private.”

“Ok.” I nod and she leaves me to gather her things.

Poor Katniss. Henry must have been an absolute arsehole to prey on the vulnerable widow.

I see him down the hallway after Katniss leaves getting water from the water cooler.

I look around the hallway and make my way towards him.

“Hey.” Henry says greeting me.

“This is awkward. But, listen…”

“I guess this looks bad to you.” Henry interrupts me.

“Uh, yeah, it does. But that’s not really the point. There are a lot of people who work here who know you as Katniss’ boyfriend. So, we’re gonna have to manage your visibility. Okay? For everybody’s sake. For Chanel’s and for yours and for Katniss’.”

“Well, you must be thinking the worst of me.”

_You’re fucking right I am._

“Uh, it’s not really what I think that matters.”

“Look, it’s complicated.”

I look him in the eyes and nod. “Sure. Super complicated to lie about being a widow.” I say and turn to leave. “Although, for my money, no matter how complicated it is, you’re a dick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the long wait. My writing mojo has come and gone this year and I've gone through a long period of not knowing what to write and where to take this. I finally had a brainwave after writing a 26,000 word story and had this finished.  
> The next two chapters to follow this were finished I just wanted to fill in the gap and show a different perspective before the ending.  
> Note that this will most likely be a 9 chapter story. I'm unsure on whether I'll do a sequel or longer one shots.  
> I'm still undecided and will gauge your response to the ending.  
> I will also be honest, I was a turned off in updating because of the strong discussion that followed after the last chapter. I like the constructive criticism and reading all of your thoughts and comments, it just turned me off a little bit as I was scared of your reaction to how I'd continue it. But I had a plan and wasn't prepared to change it now for the final couple of chapters.  
> Hopefully you enjoyed this insight and there will be a follow up back in Katniss' point of view.  
> You can find me over on tumblr as Herainab in the meantime.


	8. Hurt Me

I step out of Chanel’s room, dazed and confused. I don't know what I want or what to do.

I find myself in the hallway that takes me to my office and make a quick move to my office.

“Hi-de-ho!” A voice sings out to me.

I stop and turn back to Chaff's office. He stands up and I notice he is wearing his pajamas.

“Finished your shift?” He asks.

“Um…”

_Chaff… here. He’ll see Henry._

“While I’ve got you, there’s, um, something I’ve been meaning to talk about.”

“Can it wait?” I ask him.

“It’s been six months since you returned to us and, uh, well, we’re all aware that it’ll soon be Willow’s first birthday and of course the… well, the anniversary, and…”

“Yes.” I nod.

Chaff sighs. “You mentioned concerns about the impact of work on you and Willow. As you know, I take my responsibilities at this hospital very, very seriously. So I need to know, are you leaning towards staying or do you feel you might need you… safe plan?”

“That’s a big decision.” I tell him. “And I don’t have an answer for you right now. But I will think about it.”

“Yes. Good, good.” He replies. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I reply and run out the door to find Peeta.

He sends me home for the night. Reassures me he has it under control and I go and gather my things and head down towards the elevator.

I step into the elevator, clicking the ground button.

“Katniss?” Henry calls out.

I press the button to close the doors but Henry beats me, placing his hand in between the closing doors.

“What?” I ask him.

“I know this looks bad…”

"Yeah, it does. You lied to me" I tell him through gritted teeth. Tears are welling my eyes. “I’m not doing this here.” I tell him and press the button for the doors to close. I press it multiple times hoping it’ll close quicker.

He steps back. “Can I call you later?”

I don’t give him an answer as the doors close between us.

_There is an explanation. Or maybe he’s just a fucking arsehole. A fucking conniving arsehole._

I arrive to an empty and dark house and wonder what I’m going to do.

I go to call Prim but her phone goes right to message bank.

_No. Contain the situation. Telling Prim just makes it bigger. Still four hours before you can pick up Willow. Keep busy._

I iron and do the folding and the washing that has crept up onto me. I clean the whole house. It’s funny that 12 months before I was nesting, preparing the house for Willow. When now, I’m trying to not lose my mind over a stupid man I got involved with.

The more I think, the more I doubt. The more I question everything he ever told me. I begin to doubt myself for letting down my guard. How could I be so stupid in believing everything that he told me?

He lied to me. He told me his wife was dead.

There could possibly be an explanation for this.

But at the end of the day, he's lied to me. Used my own grief and experience to get closer to me.

* * *

 

The doorbell rings just as I get ready to go and pick up Willow and I see Peeta on the other side of the door.

“Uh.”

“Have you slept?” He asks me.

“No.” I tell him and he offers me a coffee. “Oh, thanks for the coffee.”

"That's Ok. Just so you know, Henry has left the hospital. He's not gonna be back until later tonight but we've arranged for him to call me before he does so that I can be there." He tells me, following me into the house.

“Thank you.”

“But Marvel is still at work but I’ve managed to keep him away from Chanel’s room.”

“Marvel doesn’t know Henry.”

“Really? Oh.” He sighs. “I probably shouldn’t have been so extreme in my attempt to distract him.” He says. “I played kiss, chasey with him.”

“Oh, Peeta! You’re so great.”

“You look… more OK then I thought you’d be.” He says. “I mean…”

“Well, I’m…I don’t know what to say or think.” I tell him. “I mean, what can I do?” I ask him.

He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. Follow your gut.”

“My gut is what got me here.” I tell him quietly. “Anyway, I’m going to go and pick up Willow from Mom and Dad’s.”

“Sure. Yeah.” He says, following me out the door. “Oh, and, hey, bad timing but you got a phone call. Nicola Brown from the Panem Well Woman Clinic.”

“About a patient referral?” I ask as I read the note.

“She wouldn’t tell me. It’s for your ears only, apparently.”

“Ok. Thanks.”

I offer Peeta a lift home and as he climbs into my car, I look at my phone. Checking to see if there are any missed calls.

_I really don’t care for a phone call anyway. I should probably just burn the phone and move on._

I drop him home and head over to Mom and Dad’s. As I pull up outside, Prim calls. She’s been MIA for the last twelve hours. She was straightening things out with Rory and ending things with Thresh. Thresh was her first serious boyfriend and first love. We knew she’d struggle to get over Thresh if he came back into her life.

But Rory was good for her. The two of them, they had a stronger connection than she ever did with Thresh. Rory was right for her.

“Prim. Hi.”

_“Where are you?”_

“Outside Mom and Dad’s.”

_“Good. Good. That helps.”_

“What’s going on?”

_“Rory and I are good.”_

“Yeah?”

_“I just think we were honest with each other. I told him the return of Thresh brought up some past feelings I was sure I was over.”_

“How’d he take that?”

_"Really well. He admitted he'd feel the same if his ex-came to town." She sighs. "We both have only just gotten out of long-term relationships."_

“That’s true.” I agree. “You two are so good for each other, I’m sure you’ll make it work.”

_“I’m going to meet Thresh and talk to him. He deserves to know.”_

“He does. Prim, just be honest with him.”

_“I will be.” She tells me. “I’ll be there soon.”_

I end the call, head on inside the house.

“Oh, shit. Hang on. Wait. I’m stopping the clock.” Linden announces. “Hello, Kat.”

“Hello, darling. Hello, little girl.” I coo at Willow who is in the playpen with Hunter.

“Cressida is trying to sit an exam here, so…” Linden tells me, hinting to keep quiet or hurry up.

“We’re you a good girl?” I ask Willow in a soft whisper.

She smiles, gurgles and reaches out for me. I lift her from the playpen and kiss Hunter on top of his head, tickling his cheek. He smiles at me, showing me his toy truck.

“That’s a lovely truck.” I coo to him.

Mom appears from her bedroom.

“Oh, I thought I heard your voice sweetheart.” Mom smiles. “How was your shift?”

“Sorry, I just need to get this done.” Cressida announces, packing up her things and heading outside.

Dad appears still in his pajamas and goes and greets the grandkids, taking Willow from me to get into the highchair.

_There’s no call from Henry. He’s probably not going to call me. I don’t know why I’m even giving him the time of day._

I step outside with Willow on my hip, exhaling a deep breath.

“You’re gonna come out here now, are you?” Cressida asks me, slightly peeved.

“Is that OK?”

“Yep.” She replies, stopping the stopwatch and packing her things up and going back inside.

Willow mumbles and I turn to her, resting my forehead against hers.

_Be brave. Talk to Chanel._

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

"I'm so sorry to do this, could I leave Willow here for another couple of hours?" I ask and she's smiling, holding her arms out before I even finish. "I've just remembered something at work." I say. “I’ll be back in time for Axel’s party.”

“Of course, darling.” She coos. “Come on baby girl. I’ll drop her round later?”

“Thank you.” I say to her. “Bye-bye!” I coo to Willow, kissing her goodbye.

“Bye Ma.” Willow says back to me.

I smile at Willow and then Mom. "Thanks, Mom. I really appreciate it.”

* * *

 

_Don't ask her anything direct. Just chat with her. See what she says._

I try to sneak in and down to my office but am caught out by Marvel.

“Katniss, telephone.”

“Oh, no, I’m not here. I’m not on today.”

“Uh, a woman called Nicola Brown. Uh, she’s calling for you.”

“Oh.” I say. “Ok.”

“Nicola Brown?” Rue asks.

“She’s from the Panem Well Woman Clinic.” I tell them. “What does she want?”

“She’s being a bit secretly about it. But she’s on the line now. Do you want me to say you’re not here?”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I’ll take it in my office.” I tell him.

“Katniss Everdeen.” I answer.

_“Oh, Katniss, hi. It’s, Nicola Brown. I just want to lay all my cards on the table. Um, Katniss, you’ve been on our radar for a while now. And your name comes up again and again. So I was calling to gauge your level of interest in a position here.”_

“Sorry? Are you-?” I stammer, trying to figure out what she wants.

_“Yes, yes, I suppose I’m headhunting you. The hours are family-friendly, and uh, the environment is much less chaotic than a hospital setting.”_

_And half the staff wouldn’t be family members._

_“Are you there?” She asks._

“Yeah, oh, sorry. Yes, you’ve just caught me off-guard, uh, in a strange moment.”

_“How about I shoot you through an email with some more information about the clinic, and then if you are interested we’ll arrange a meeting?”_

“All right.”

_“Well, I’ll look forward to talking with you soon then. Bye now.”_

“Bye.” I say ending the call.

_Chanel._

I head down to Chanel’s room, look around first before I open the door.

Chanel is awake, holding her newborn son in her arms. She turns to me smiling. She’s much better today than she was yesterday.

“Hi.” I greet her.

“Hi, Katniss.”

“How are you?” I ask, moving towards her bed.

“Good.” She laughs. “It’s even more intense than I remembered it.” She smiles, looking back at the baby. “Look at that face. It’s Henry all over again.” The baby is alert and wide-awake and I note how beautiful he is. It makes me sick to my stomach that there is a beautiful wife and newborn. Henry’s beautiful family that he lied about. “He’s cute, huh?”

“Oh, yeah.” I agree, almost choking on the words. My stomach twists.

“Um, I probably shouldn’t ask, but when can I go home?”

“Oh, uh, well-“

“It’s just my eldest son, Preston gets funny if I’m not there. And to be honest, I just want to be in my own home. We’re not from here and it just feels a bit foreign before away from home.”

I nod. “Is the baby nursing?”

“Yeah. Duck to water.”

“Is everything at home set up to support you?”

“Yeah. Yes. All ready. I’ve got my family and Henry’s. Henry will be taking time off work in about two weeks, so he’ll look after us. He’s brilliant. He might look like a bit of a lug, but he’s a kitten, really. And he’s such a romantic, so.” She tells me and looks back at her son.

I ponder if I should tell her. Tell her the truth and lay it all out.

“Chanel.” I say, sitting on the bed. “This-this is gonna be difficult to hear. Uh, I know your husband. I’ve met him before.”

“Uh, really?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for a few months.”

“Ok.”

“We’ve been having a relationship.” I say. “A sexual relationship.”

I shake my head, the baby gurgles breaking me from my wandering mind. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't break her heart right now as she was in baby bliss. It would open up a can of worms. And for my sake, it was what was right for the mother and baby. They were my patients and me bringing this type of stress wasn’t my intention.

"Uh, right, well, I'll tell admin to, uh, sort out your discharge papers and…"

“Thank you so much, Katniss, for everything.” Chanel says and I know she means from the bottom of her heart. “I wasn’t very welcoming when I arrived but you made me feel very welcome and comfortable and I really appreciate it. Peeta as well.”

“Oh, It’s my pleasure.” I tell her, leaving quickly.

Chaff, Rue, and Cecelia are in the hallway bickering over something irrelevant and I try to sneak out before they catch me.

“Katniss, just a second.” Chaff calls out.

"Sorry, uh, I need to go get Willow." I tell him, heading for the elevator.

Peeta steps out of the elevator with a concerned look on his face. “Hi. What are you doing here?” He asks.

“I just checked in on Chanel.” I tell him.

He looks over my shoulder to see the three of them bickering and leans in closer to me, turning his back so they can't hear him.

“He’s coming in.” Peeta whispers to me.

“I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Katniss, just answer me this one question, letting me prove to them I’m right.”

“What?” I say. “I’ve got to get some air.” I say and the elevator dings and the doors open with Henry stepping out.

I stare at him briefly and step away. He looks like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hi.” Rue greets him.

"Hi, Henry." Chaff greets him. "You're in the construction industry, what are your thoughts on investment properties. You know the ones that you purchase before they're even built?"

“Hi Marvel, this is Katniss’ man, Henry.”

“Oh, you’re the huge one! You are huge, hi.” Marvel stammers.

“Are you two having a rendezvous?” Chaff asks. “A matinee?”

“No, I thought, I’d like… to give Henry a tour.”

“Ending in your office?” Cecelia hints.

“With the blinds closed?” Marvel adds.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Peeta says. “Uh, Chaff. Um, you’re needed in the operating room. Uh, it’s very important. Rue, Mrs. Bourke in Birthing Suite 3. There’s a call from management I'll put it through to your office." He tells Cecelia. "And, um, as for you, come here you big bear." He says to Marvel.

“No.”

“Come here! Come here, hey?” Peeta says, chasing him away.

_Thank you, Peeta._

“This way.” I tell Henry leading him away from sight. “Just through here.”

“Katniss, I need to tell you this.” He pleads. “Chanel and I, we’re breaking up. It’s complicated because she was pregnant.”

“Please don’t. Please don’t hide behind her.” I tell him.

“I want you to understand-“

“I do understand. You’re lying to me.” I say. “You told me, that woman down the hallway died. You told me you’ve been a widower. That it was just you and your son. This is bullshit.” I tell him. “You met my whole family. I let you into my life. I let you into my daughters’ life. Do you know how big that is?” I tell him, tears welling in my eyes. I can’t say anything else. “Your wife is waiting through there with your beautiful new son.” I tell him and walk away, trying to not cry.

Marvel appears in front of me, grabbing my face and kissing me. “You’re in!” He tells me and runs off.

A hand is placed on my shoulder. “It’s all gonna be okay. You go home.” Peeta tells me, leading me to the elevator. “I will come over as soon as I’m finished here.”

“Chanel’s paperwork.”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of it.” He tells me. “Everything’s gonna be all right, Katniss.” He tells me, pressing the elevator. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Prim is waiting for me at home.

“You’ve been ironing pillowcases again?”

“Oh. Yes.” I tell her, sitting down in front of her.

“I’m moving to Canada with Rory.” She announces.

“Oh!” I say shocked. “Oh, that’s… that’s wonderful.”

“Would it be? Because I haven’t decided.” She tells me. “I just needed your reaction. I know the timing couldn’t be worse, with Willow’s birthday and Thom’s anniversary. Sorry. Sorry to bring that up.”

“It’s okay.”

"It's just—Katniss, you're the one person whose judgment I really trust. And if I make the wrong decision, I’m gonna have to live with it, forever.” She admits. “What should I do?”

“I can’t answer that.”

“I wanna be with Rory.” She says. “But it means leaving you and Willow. I can’t do that without your blessing.”

“Oh, you. You have my blessing.” I tell her, reaching across the table.

“You’ll be Ok, won’t you? Cause everything is going really well with you and Henry.”

_Don’t tell her._

“Yeah.” I answer through the lump in my throat. “Prim. I want you to be happy. Please just make the decision that makes you happy. You’ve been ensuring we’re all happy, it’s time for you to be happy.”

“But I-“

“Or I’ll never forgive you.” I tell her smiling.

Her phone rings, Rory’s name appearing on the screen. They were doing some running around for Madge for Axel’s party.

“I’ve gotta go.” She tells me. We share a quick embrace before she walks out the door.

And the second the door closes; I can’t hold the tears in any longer. I sit sobbing in my kitchen for a brief minute.

“Get it together.” I say aloud, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I barely manage to do anything but sit on the couch and sulk.

I find myself waiting for Peeta mostly.

“Katniss?” He calls out from the front door.

“Down here.”

I count the steps it takes for him to reach me in the lounge room and anticipate him appearing. I find myself sucking in a breath waiting for him. I exhale when he appears.

I haven't realized how beautiful he is. Actually, I always have. I just internally scolded myself for thinking of him that way.

“Chanel’s gone home.” He tells me, appearing with a sleeping Maisy who is in her stroller. “And I managed to get Henry out without anyone seeing, then Chanel and the baby, so, it’s over.” He tells me, placing a bag down on the kitchen table. “Heist pulled.” I chuckle at him. “And I brought you some salt, sugar, fat, cheese, and chocolate.”

“Thank you, Peeta. You’ve been so good to me.” I tell him softly. He walks towards me, sitting down in front of me on the coffee table. “Why did this happen?” I ask him, tears welling in my eyes. “So many lies. So many lies and omissions. Why didn’t he just say that he was married? Not lie that she had died? We could have been friends. No problem. He didn’t- he didn’t have to lie. Why did he lie?”

"Cause he's a liar." Peeta adds with a slight smirk he hides quickly.

“You never liked him.”

“Pardon?”

“Henry, you never liked him. I could see that.” I say. “You’d get all tense when I’d speak about him.”

“Um…”

“It was chemical, wasn’t it? Instinct.” I say. “Should I be angry with you for not warning me?”

“I hope not.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” I say to him, reaching out to wrap my arms around his neck. “Sorry. You’re the last person I should be taking it out on. You’ve been so good to me the last couple of days.”

“It’s Ok.” He says consoling me. “It’s Ok.”

“Maybe it’s my fault.” I sob. “Maybe I deserve it.”

“Oh, God, you don’t deserve that, Katniss. You deserve somebody who respects you, and is good to you and makes your life better. You deserve someone who adores you.” He states. “Someone who adores every part of you.” He tells me softly.

I look at him, feel my heart surge and I move forward, touching my lips to his.

He meets me, kisses me back with such emotion and energy. I place my hands on his face, steadying myself to him. Sparks of electricity shoot throughout my body. The same feeling I got when I kissed him in the airport hotel room months before. That feeling I’ve been craving for months but haven’t found it again, until right now.

And I realized, I have pushed these feelings aside regarding Peeta. All these confusing thoughts and feelings I've pushed to the back of my mind and thought I was delusional.

“No, no, no, what are we doing?”

“I just need to feel something else.” I tell him, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him to straddle me while I kiss him.

“No, I get where you’re coming from—“ He says, kissing me back before he pushes himself away. “I don’t think we should.”

“We should, we really should.” I tell him, kissing him again.

Peeta pushes away from me. “No, no, no I didn’t come here to do this or be that guy. Katniss, I’m here as your friend.”

“It’s Ok, just—“ I say, kissing him once again.

“No.” He says pulling away but I wrap my arms around him. “No, Katniss, stop. Stop it, stop it, stop it. No, no, no!” He moves and we both end up on the floor with a hard thump, waking Maisy up.

“Sorry.” I say, sitting up and rubbing my elbow. “I’m Ok.”

He goes to Maisy, settling her.

“Why, why are you trying to wreck it?” He asks me, once Maisy is settled. “Don’t wreck us!” He exclaims. “I treated you better than that.”

I don’t know what to say to him. “Sorry.” I sniffle.

"Uh, I'm sorry." He apologizes. "I'm sorry." He reaches out to help me up off of the floor.

I look up into his eyes, exhaling a deep breath. He wipes the tears away from my cheek and smiles at me.

“Hello?” Mom calls out, heading down the hallway. She appears with Willow and looks at me, knowing something is wrong. “Oh, darling, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. I just fell over. It’s Ok.” I laugh, rubbing my elbow.

“I’m just leaving.” Peeta announces.

“Oh, all right then.”

He waves goodbye to me, going to fetch his coat.

“Hi Willow.” He waves to her, getting a big wave and a smile back. “See you at Madge’s." He says, once he's got he has Maisy.

“Bye.”

Mom has Willow out of the stroller and brings her to me. Willow has her hat on her head and smiles at me.

“Did I interrupt something?” Mom asks.

“No, no, nothing, no. Thanks for bringing Willow back.” I tell her.

“Oh, now, darling, I have a proposal for you.” Mom says. “Prim and Rory need to sort their relationship out and Prim might go to Canada. So I was thinking, I could move in here. I could be your live-in help.”

“What about Linden?”

“Cressida and Linden can cope without me.”

“And Dad?” I say, taking Willow’s hat off.

“He’ll be fine.”

“Oh, Mom, thank you. Um, but no. Uh, there’s this clinic that has approached me. Panem Well Woman Clinic, they have family-friendly hours. It's mostly woman's welfare. Gynaecological checks. The hours will work well for Willow."

“All right.” She says. “The offer is there.” She reminds me.

I smile. "There have been so many great things about the hospital, but there have been things that have…never worked. And I have to think about what's best for Willow. Don't I?"

"Well, yes." Mom says, grabbing my hands. "Yes, you do." She leaves us to be and I cuddle Willow closer to my body. “I’ll see you at Madge’s.”

I wave goodbye to her and kiss Willow's cheek. "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you." I whisper to her. "Thank you for coming into my life." I kiss her cheek again. "Come on, let's get party ready."

I change her into a romper with pink pineapples printed on the suit. She wears a matching pink headband to keep her hair out of her face and sits up on my bed proud as ever. She smiles a big, wide smile at me and I know, despite the hardships of the last twelve months, of everything I failed and those who failed me. I didn’t fail this little girl. I raised her into this tiny human who laughs and smiles at me even if I feel like I’ve failed everything.

She doesn’t see me as a failure. She sees me as her mother. The person she relies on. The person she loves the most. And maybe that is all I need. Just Willow and I.

“I love you so much Lo-Lo.”

I quickly change, wrap Axel’s present and pack the baby bag. Willow sleeps during the car ride over and I carefully transfer her into the stroller when I get to Madge and Gale’s. I’m one of the first ones there and I needed a distraction.

“I can’t believe you’re not throwing a party for Willow.” Madge says to me as we lay out the food.

I shrug my shoulders. I debated this choice over and over since the day she was born and decided it was just a day. A day Willow wouldn’t remember. A day I didn’t get to share with Thom.

I’d throw her one for her 2nd birthday.

“I just don’t feel right.”

Madge leaves it at that and we go to get Axel ready.

“I am so tired.” Madge tells me, yawning as she lifts Axel out of his crib. She tickles his body and coos at him.

“Has he changed his sleep pattern?”

“No, he’s sleeping through the night.”

“Have you been sleeping?”

“Yeah.” She replies. “I’ve been more restless though. And the heat has been driving me crazy.”

“You late at all?” I ask her.

“No. Not that I know of.” She answers. “I don’t know, I haven’t been regular since I had Axel.”

“Have you two been trying?”

“We’ve talked about it. We wanted them close in age.”

“And how would you feel if you were?”

I see a smile creep on her face. "It wouldn't be a bad thing." She admits. "Gale wanted a soccer team or half of one.” She laughs.

“You’re a good mother.” I tell her. “I hope you are pregnant." I smile hand her Axel's shoes. “Maybe take a test tomorrow morning and see.”

She nods. “This time last year I was preparing to deliver Axel, today I’m celebrating his first birthday and am possibly pregnant.”

“I still remember us both freaking out together when we found out we were pregnant. I didn’t imagine going through my first pregnancy with my best friend.”

“I’m glad we got to do it together.”

“Me too.”

“Maybe one day in the future if I’m still having my soccer team we’ll do it again.” She laughs.

“Maybe.” I smile. My heart breaks a little bit because at this point I don’t know if I truly will expand my family.

The house starts to fill with guests and I slink away. Willow has woken up and sits with me as she grows used to the people. Mom sits beside me out in the sunshine and we watch the kids and adults alike play.

“I thought Henry was invited.” Mom says, checking Tommy in his stroller as he sleeps. Cressida had ducked inside to use the bathroom.

I bite my lip, drawing blood. "Ouch." I cry. "Something came up I think." I lie.

“Oh, Ok, maybe next time.”

I leave it at that and take Willow inside to change her diaper. I bump into Peeta and feel the heat rush to my cheeks immediately.

“Hi.” He greets me.

“Hey.” I reply. “Sorry, have to change Willow.” I announce before he says anything else.

Prim saunters into Axel’s nursery, shutting the door. “What was that all about?” She asks.

I shake my head. “Nothing.”

“More like something.”

“Prim, just leave it please.”

“Ok, fine. I’ll leave it.” She tells me. “For now.”

I change Willow’s diaper and find her hat in the diaper bag. “How are you going?”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m seeing Thresh after this to tell him everything.”

“What are you going to say?”

“Tell him the truth.”

And I smile at her because I feel like she is finally growing up. “Do you feel like an adult now?”

She nods and brushes the tears from underneath her eyes. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I mean, I’m moving to another country. I’m leaving my family behind. I’m now going to be living with a boy, in a house, in a country hours away from my family and friends.”

“I’m proud of you.” I tell her. “I’m so proud of you.”

We embrace for a long moment. I kiss her forehead and hold her in my arms “Will I regret this?”

“Good thing there is such things as planes, Skype, and email.” I remind her. “You’ll be fine, Little Duck.”

“And you and Willow?”

“We’ll be fine as well. Willow and I are a good team.”

“And I suppose if things go well with Henry, maybe you can become a team with him.”

“Yep.” I answer and pull her in for another embrace. If she found out, she wouldn’t get on that plane and would be keying his car right now.

We celebrate Axel's birthday for the rest of the afternoon. I try to keep up the façade. Try to pretend that everything is fine between Peeta and me.

And I try to get through the rest of the party with questions from my family and friends.

Willow has made her way towards Peeta and he helps her walk throughout the yard, feeling the grass underneath her feet and chasing the kids as they play. She's so happy and content with him. She's never anxious or cries. She always smiles and giggles and there is never a moment of confusion or distrust.

Whereas, moments with Henry, she never took to him like she has to Peeta. She would cry if he was near and try to wiggle her way out of his arms. She never once trusted him, was always cautious and wary. There was never a smile or a laugh. Always distrust and anxiety.

_How is that my 12-month-old is a better judge of character than I am at 29 years of age?_

I join them. Sitting down beside them both. Willow was happy watching the kids play content in Peeta’s arms. I kiss Willow’s chubby hand and smile at her.

“I want to try and forget this whole thing ever happened.” I tell Peeta. “Henry. I just… want to forget.”

“What will you tell your family?”

I don’t answer him because I don’t really know what I’ll say.

“He told me they were separating, it was just awkward because of the baby.”

Peeta tenses up beside me. I watch his body language change to disgust.

“He’d want to destroy his family like that?” He asks through gritted teeth. “He’s an arsehole, Katniss. I don’t want you having anything else to do with him ever again. You hear me?”

I nod. Sniffling. I wipe my nose.

“And if you want, I can go and kick his arse.” He tells me. I look up at him and know he’s joking but he’d do anything for me in a heartbeat. “I did get through college on a wrestling scholarship.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, top wrestling in the state two years in a row in high school.”

I can’t help but laugh.

“Did you wear the attractive singlet?” I ask, chuckling slightly.

“Yes.” He blushes. “It was too small for me too.”

I can't help but laugh. A loud laugh that draws the attention to us but I don't mind. Peeta laughs along with me and boasts that huge smile that reaches right to his ears. Our laughing catches and Willow joins in with us.

“So I bet the girls loved the singlet?” I ask, still laughing.

“Believe me, girls didn’t see wrestling as the macho type thing. I’m sure they were laughing at the outfit and what they could see.”

I smile at him. “High school sucks.”

“High school does suck.” He agrees and turns Willow to look at him. “Now Willow, don't conform to the crowd. Be yourself. It'll be hard sometimes but just stick to your guns. If you're anything like your mother you'll be strong-willed, stubborn and won't let anybody get you down."

Willow stares at him crinkling her eyebrows as she listens to him intently.

“I often wonder how’ll she cope without her father in her life.” I tell him honestly.

“She’ll be fine. She’ll have her uncles, grandfather… lot’s of male figures in her life.” He tells me. “I grew up without a mother and I think I turned out alright.”

I smile at him and the way he is comfortable with Willow.

Posy does the rounds, taking photos of everyone and she captures one of the three of us together before she moves on.

“I’ve been offered a job.” I tell him.

“Where?”

“Nicola Brown has basically headhunted me for the clinic.”

“Oh. Will you take it?”

“I don’t know.” I tell him honestly. "It's family-friendly hours, more stability and less chaos for Willow and I. I just think I need something that I don't bring home to Willow. I don’t know how my job is affecting her and if it is, will she suffer from the absence of me.” I tell him. “I just need to do this for Willow.”

He nods, reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “You’ll do great at performing pap smears.”

And I laugh.

I depart as soon as the cake is cut. I wanted to get home; I was mentally and physically drained after the events of the last 24 hours. I just wanted to snuggle Willow, drink some wine and watch trashy TV while gorging myself with junk food.

I wanted to forget, even if it was just for an evening.

Everyone says goodbye to Willow as she snoozes in my arms. Peeta follows me out to the car, collapsing the stroller and placing it in the car for me. He hands me the baby bag with a smile and embraces me quickly before leaning into the car to kiss Willow goodbye.

“I’ll see you round?”

I nod and thank him again before getting into the car.

“Just, don’t think too much about him.” He tells me. “And know I’m here if you want to talk.”

I nod. I was embarrassed and telling my family made it real. I just hoped it slipped away. Made it seem like it naturally broke down and I would never see him again.

Maybe that was too much to ask for.

“Thanks. I better be going.”

* * *

 

Prim arrives home just as I’ve finished dinner. Willow plays on her play mat, reading books and stacking blocks.

“What happened?” I ask as she sits across me on the couch.

“I just had to tear Thresh’ heart out.” She tells me. “He’s been so good to me and I’ve hurt him so much.” She tells me. “I’m terrified, Kat. This is the biggest risk in my life-“

“Prim.”

“No, sure, that there was love in Rory’s eyes this morning, but what if, when we get to Canada the anger comes, or the resentment, and then I’ve trashed my life again for no good reason.” She admits. “I love my life. I love this. You and me and Willow.”

“You have to do this. You have to go. You’re just finding excuses to not be with him. To feel it.”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Prim cries, leaning across to embrace me.

She leaves for the night to hang out with Rory. He’s been offered a job in a production company and they’re located in Canada. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime for him and Prim.

It’s time for her to spread her wings and start doing things for herself and not worrying about Linden and myself. Time to live her life and create some memories.

I sit with Willow on the couch, looking at photos from Axel's party. Willow looks at them with me, cooing and pointing out people. Most of them she recognizes and coos a happy coo.

There's a candid photo of Peeta, Willow and I. The three of us caught in a conversation. My attention is on Willow, Willow looks up at me smiling, Peeta is looking at me as I speak. There's another candid shot and we're both looking at Willow and all laughing.

We look like a family. A family that is so happy and full of love. It's funny how a picture can tell a story. A story that is so true or so false.

This one is so false but could fool anyone looking in.

The photo of the three of us together that we were aware of shows up and we smile for the camera. Willow is looking up at Peeta and I can see the trust in her eyes.

But these candid photos.

How did I never realize he felt like that? How could I have been selfish after we first met, dismissed it ever happened, treated him terribly at the beginning before I really gave him a chance?

I lift Willow up onto my hip after we finish looking at the photos and I take her to her room. I stand her in her crib and I know she's nowhere near ready to fall asleep. I sit beside her crib and read her a book and watch as she walks around the crib, mumbling to me.

_Once Prim’s in Canada, there’ll be time to tell her about Henry and-- Peeta._

_This whole mess._

Willow comes back to me, peaking down between the bars giggling and smiling at me. I kiss her through the bars and smile back at her. She blows a bubble and coos again.

_This is all so unfair to you. You shouldn’t be punished for the fact that my life is out of control._

_There’s only one sensible decision to make._

_In the end, it’s simple._

I leave Willow, as she begins to tire, watching her mobile spin round and round, and head down the hallway to the back porch, dialing a number

_“Nicola Brown.”_

“Hi, Nicola, it’s Katniss Everdeen.”

_“Hello, Katniss! I’m so delighted to hear from you so soon. Have you had a chance to think about joining our team?”_

“I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love and support for the last chapter.  
> I'm so sorry this has taken a little while to update, real life has really gotten in the way the last month and I've found a small slice of time to to review and update.  
> I hope you enjoy this instalment. Katniss could have spilled the truth to Chanel but in my eyes, it would have made things worse and ultimately, Chanel is still her patient, and her health is Katniss' priority.  
> There will be a follow up very soon and most likely the last chapter. I'm considering a follow up series but that's just an idea I'm still cooking at the moment. I'll gauge you're interest at the end of the next chapter to see if I start something.  
> In the meantime, I hope you've enjoyed and you can find me on tumblr as Herainab x


	9. Breathe In

_In a few hours, Prim will be on that plane. Just focus on getting through ‘till then, without letting on about Henry._

I push the stroller up into Linden’s restaurant where everyone is meeting for a farewell breakfast as Prim and Rory are flying out in a few hours. And with it being Axel’s birthday today and Willow’s at the end of the week, they’ll be missing the family get together. This is a mini celebration for them both.

“Thanks for the farewell breakfast.” Rory says to Linden.

Prim is getting in as many cuddles with her niece and nephews before she leaves.

“No worries.” Linden replies and asks further about the job.

“What are you going to do about childcare with your new job?” Effie asks me.

“I’m interviewing a nanny this afternoon.”

“Oh, darling, hiring a stranger –“

“Prim tells me you’re leaving obstetrics.” Rory says.

“There’s a job at the Women’s Clinic, and at the moment, I think it’s probably the most sensible idea.”

“Yeah, wall-to-wall pap smears.” Cressida adds causing us all to laugh.

“Hey, is Henry coming down?” Linden asks.

“Um, no.”

_Don’t give anything away. Everything’s fine._

Prim snuggles Willow closer to her and Dad smiles.

“I can’t believe she’s about to turn 1.” He notes. “Have to get ready for a party, huh?” He’s the party king. Anything he sees fit as a celebration he turns it into one. When I got my first period he wanted to throw a party. Mom quickly shut that idea down. And despite me telling them there’s no party, Dad still tries to push. Still tries to insist there is a party for her.

“Yeah. Oh, no, there’s not gonna be a party.” I tell him.

“Arch! Remember what tomorrow is!” Mom reminds him.

“Oh. Yeah. Listen, sweetheart, I know it’s kind of a sad time too. But I mean surely, uh—“

“Uh, I just don’t want to make a big palaver this year.” I tell him.

“Well, maybe Thom wouldn’t want Willow to miss out on a fabulous celebration.” Dad suggests.

“No, you don’t want to miss out. That’s what this is about. And, um, Willow’s too little to care. The week, of all weeks, I’m just – I’m not up to it.”

"Let's just all wish Axel and Willow a happy birthday while Rory and Prim are still here, eh?” Linden suggests, diffusing the situation as best as he can.

“Happy birthday Willow and Axel.” Everyone coos and exclaims.

Dad wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling me towards his body as two little muffins are brought out with one candle in both of them.

“Ready, one, two, three.” Rory and Prim encourage Axel and Willow to blow out the candles.

“Yay.”

I ignore Peeta’s call as we finish up breakfast.

I’ve been dodging him for the last few days, too embarrassed after what happened and the fact that we haven’t crossed paths at work. I’ve given my notice and I know he’ll be upset about that.

He leaves a voice message and I know I’ll listen to it later on but not act on it.

The sound of his voice was comforting but I could hear the hurt in his tone. The want for more.

And I had come to the realization that I had feelings for him and didn’t know how to proceed.

But just this week, there was too much on my mind, on my plate and I had to focus all my energy on Willow as the anniversary neared.

“Can you say, ‘bye-bye’?” Prim asks Willow outside of Lindens’ restaurant.

“Bye-bye.” Willow echoes back to her aunt.

“Bye-bye.” She waves and I can see the tears she’s fighting to hold back. “Ok.”

She embraces me tightly and then looks at the rest of our family and friends.

“Okay, there’s no need for a big scene at the airport cause I’m gonna Skype every day.”

“We are.”

“I hate leaving you, guys.”

“Bye-bye.” Willow waves to her.

“Prim. Go and have a brilliant time with Rory. I’m fine.”

“You are fine, aren’t you? You’ve got your new job and Henry. You’re great.”

“Yep.” I nod. “Go.”

“See you everyone!” Rory says, hugging his parents and siblings quickly goodbye. “We’ll see you soon!”

“Take care.”

I bite my lip as Posy drives them to the airport. Prim’s little red hatchback delivering them to the airport to begin their new life.

This was good. This was needed. Prim to start her life. Me to focus on a new career and life change.

I help Linden clean up, chat with Madge briefly and wish her luck for going back to work tomorrow.

"You're going to be fine. Like a duck to water." I tell her with a supportive smile. "And call me if you're having a freakout."

“I will.” She laughs. “You have the tour now?”

“Yep.” I tell her. “I better go.”

I hug her goodbye, telling her I’ll catch up with her later and head on out.

The clinic is just around the block and I rush to meet Nicola.

“I’m so delighted you’ll be coming and joining our team.” Nicola says to me as we walk through the clinic. Willow is close to being asleep and the motion of the stroller puts her to sleep as I tour the clinic.

“Oh, well, Nicola, I’m delighted too.” I tell her.

“Lot’s of our staff members have small kids.”

"And do you all socialize with each other very often?"

“Uh, no. No, not really. We keep our work and personal life separate.”

“I think this place is gonna suit me very well.” I tell her, a small smile creeping on my face.

“There are a lot of pap smears.” She tells me.

“That’s Ok.”

After my tour, I head to the grocery store, picking up a few things before heading on home with Willow. She still sleeps as we get home and I quietly push her inside the house, closing the door behind me and pushing her into the kitchen.

The house is quiet. It’s always been quiet but when Prim was around, I could tell. She filled that silence. Now, it’s too silent.

I look around and stop at the spot on the couch she always used to sit and frown.

_She’s really gone._

* * *

 

The doorbell rings an hour later and I rush to answer it, picking up and putting toys away as I go, throwing them into my bedroom and shutting the door closed.

“Hi, you must be Mary.”

"Yes. I'm here for the nanny job."

“Oh. Come in.” I tell her and feel so at ease. She feels like a Saint.

“Thank you.” She smiles.

“I should tell you that I do plan on moving into a more child-safe house soon.” I tell her. This was a beautiful home. It was Thom and my first home together. We were drawn to the warehouse conversion and had to purchase it. We hadn’t really thought about the future when we bought it but had spoken about renting it out when we finally had our children. I ensured it was baby safe but now with Willow on the move, I was limited in keeping her out of certain things and we were slowly running out of room the more she grew. And I wanted a backyard for her with grass not a concrete slab. It was time for change.

I lead Mary into the living room where Willow is waiting. “The main thing I’m after is a calm routine.” I tell her. My phone rings and I excuse myself to see who’s calling. Peeta’s name is on the screen and I decline the call.

_You shouldn’t keep avoiding him._

I turn around, seeing Mary speaking to Willow and see how comfortable Willow already is.

“Oh, yes! This is Willow.” I tell her. Introducing the two together before we take a seat.

“Wow. You play the piano and you speak three languages, teach yoga. And looking after Willow three times a week would suit you?” I ask her as I read her resume. Willow has taken to her quickly and I feel at ease.

“Oh, it would suit me perfectly cause I study early childhood education part-time, so.”

_This could work. Life could be simple and organized and serene and –_

There's a commotion as the front door opens and footsteps sound down the hallway. “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about Henry?” Prim demands, running into the living room.

“Prim, what?” I ask, shocked that I’m seeing her in my living room when she should currently be on a plane to Canada.

“You can’t just not tell me something like that.”

_How’d she find out? Peeta!_

“Who’s this?” Prim asks noticing Mary.

“This is Mary. She’s applying for the nanny job.” I tell her.

“Do you want to me kill that piece of shit Henry? I will do it!” Linden tells me, barging into the house.

“Stand in line, Linden, cause I’m gonna disembowel the lying prick.” Prim exclaims, her nostrils are almost flaring.

"Oh! No. No one's disemboweling anyone." I assure Mary with an awkward laugh. "Listen to me. I don't want you to go over there and don't call him. Please!" I demand and push Linden out of the way.

My phone rings again and I scowl. “Uh! The whole family knows, does it?” I say throwing my phone.

“Yes! And I’m not gonna apologize for that. Mom and Dad want to kill him too!" Prim informs me.

“No. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.”

"I'm not gonna apologize for worrying about you."

“Where is Rory?” I ask her.

“He’s on a flight to Toronto.”

“Oh, Prim, No! This is why I didn’t tell you! You can’t do this!”

“Well, you can’t tell me what I can’t do.”

“Hi. I’m Linden. I’m Katniss’ brother.” Linden introduces himself.

“Oh, Mary.”

“Katniss discovered her supposed widowed boyfriend was leading a double life when she was in the middle of delivering his ‘dead’ wife’s baby.” Prim tells Mary.

“Dick head!” Linden spits.

“Prim, please!”

“And then she was gonna let me fly to another country without telling me. Does that seem right to you?” She asks Mary. “You lied to me.”

“I don’t want to sacrifice your happiness for me!” I tell her.

"Well, I don't want you to treat me like an idiot, and act like you don't need anybody."

“I can survive without you.”

“Oh, really? It seems like you’ve made a mighty mess of things to me.” Prim says

“Hey, hey, go easy. Don’t get angry at Katniss because—“

“You stay out of it, Linden!” We both tell him.

“Excuse me, it say’s ‘hospital’.” Mary tells me holding my phone up for me.

“Excuse me.” I say. “Hello, this is Katniss.” I answer and hear Marvel on the line. “Well, if you really need me to come in, I can.” I tell him. “Oh, of course. Right. I’ll be there soon.”

I end the call. “Mary.”

“Yeah?”

“Would you be able to start right this minute?”

“Um, yeah. I guess so. Yeah.”

“You’re hired.” I tell her and run to grab my things from the kitchen.

“You’re sacked.” Prim tells her, reaching out for Willow.

“Sorry, it’s not you. It’s us.” Linden assures her with a charming smile.

I leave Prim and Linden and drive to work. My phone sounds as I step out of my car and I see Henry’s name on there.

“Why are you calling me?” I state annoyance in my tone.

_“I’ve been getting weird messages from your family. You have got to tell them to stop.” He asks._

“You should have thought about that before you lied to me.” I tell him, ending the call as I see Peeta climb out of his car. I try to move past him as quickly as I can.

“Katniss, I got some weird call from Marvel. Do you know what’s going on?” He asks. And I ignore him. “You, Ok?”

“No, I’m not Ok. Thank you for telling my family about the Henry thing, which means now I have to—“

“I didn’t say anything. I swear to you Katniss.”

“Oh, come on, Peeta. You’re the only person that knew. How am I supposed to believe that?”

“Well, believe it, Ok?” He says. "Maybe it was your boyfriend who spilled the beans." He points out. “And by the way, thanks for dodging my calls.”

“I texted you back.”

“You wrote, ‘I’m fine’. End. I was worried about you. That’s the best you can do?”

“Well, don’t worry about me!”

“And now you’re leaving without telling. What’s going on?”

“I was embarrassed, Ok?” I tell him, stopping dead in front of him. “About the other day.”

“Oh, come on Katniss. You and I are a bit beyond embarrassed.”

“I kissed you, I launched myself at you, and I don’t even know why I did that. And it’s just – it’s all… mixed up!” I tell him and walk for the stairs. “I… I need to think about Willow.”

We ride the elevator awkwardly together and arrive on the floor and walk into almost an apocalypse.

There are laboring women everywhere, spilling out into the corridor with nurses and doctors trying their best to assess them.

“Thank God.” Rue says, rushing past with a stack of drapes and gowns. “We need every pair of baby delivering hands we can get.”

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Memorial closed its Obstetrics department cause of a gas leak.” Johanna says. She obviously was called in to help.

“And it seems every woman in the city is in labor.” Rue states. “Must have been a blackout 9 months ago.”

“So now they’re sending all their patients to us! It’s like attack of the Zombies.” Johanna exclaims pushing a patient into an exam room.

A woman grabs hold of my shirt, leaning into me as she experiences a contraction.

“Hello, how’s it going? Let’s get you into a birthing room.” I tell her. Peeta helping me.

“All the beds are full.” Rue tells me. “Uh, don’t’ worry, we’ll take care of you.” She tells the woman. “Jo’s triaging.” She tells Peeta.

“Fully dilated down that end.” Johanna claims.

“Right! Ready for my next appointment.” Chaff exclaims. “Oh, Katniss. How wonderful of you to join us!”

“Marvel is taking all surgical cases.” Rue informs me.

“We’re placing all the noisy but Ok ones out.” Johanna tells me.

“Katniss, down here, please!” Peeta calls.

“Yeah.” I race towards him and a woman who’s been brought up on a stretcher.

It’s crazy for hours, babies being born, post care needing attention to and babies needing to be attended to.

“She needs stitches.” Rue says.

“Already done.” I tell her.

“Jade is ready to push.” Peeta tells me as a new patient arrives. “She’s got a big baby with a compound presentation but, um, I’d like to interrupt. Can we go anywhere?”

“Uh, no. It’ll have to be here.” I tell him. “Can we get Jade some privacy?”

“I’ll grab a screen.” He says.

“All right, Jade, I’m just gonna push her over here.” I tell her, pushing her bed against the wall and locking the wheels in. Johanna hands me some gloves and I can see how petrified Jade is. “Jade, I know this is scary because you don’t know us, and you weren’t expecting to have your baby like this. But it’s gonna be Ok.” I tell her. “A year ago, I was planning on a natural birth in another hospital, I ended up here, delivering via an emergency C-section which I didn’t plan on.”

"Yeah, and she's a gorgeous baby. In fact, we specialize in delivering gorgeous babies." Peeta tells her. "You really came to the right place."

Jade groans in pain and I go to examine her.

“Ok, big push Jade. Good work.” I tell her.

Johanna leaves to attend to another Mom and Peeta sticks with me to help with Jade.

“One more big push.” I tell Jade as she’s progressed further.

_Even in this chaos, even with this many babies, every single one is special. It’s never not special._

Jade delivers her daughter and I hold her up for the parents, smiling, almost ecstatic.

“See, now, that’s what I would describe as a gorgeous baby!” Peeta exclaims.

“Congratulations. Here’s your daughter.” I announce, presenting them their newborn daughter.

I pass the baby to Peeta who smiles at me briefly than the newborn.

“Oh, here we go.” He coos to her.

I watch him, study his features and look down at the baby, wrapping the blanket around her stomach.

I can feel Peeta’s eyes on me; feel him smiling at me before he hands Jade her daughter. I watch the new parents, crying tears of joy and smiling as they meet their daughter. Jade thanks me and I thank her.

I look up at Peeta smiling as I can hear almost the whole floor go silent as babies are being brought into the world. I can hear the tears of joy, the congratulations, and the laughter flooding out into the hallway as the sound of new cries sound. It’s almost like music.

I walk down the corridor after the chaos has died down early the next morning and the nursery is filled with the new babies. And I start to question whether I really want to leave this behind, leave the thrill of bringing babies into the world. This brought me joy and love and happiness every single day.

This was my dream, not pap smears and routine women health checks.

“That was an amazing effort.” I say to them as we sit down, taking a break.

“Yes, well done, all of you, my magnificent colleagues.” Chaff claims.

“47 babies.” Johanna laughs.

“Memorial got the all-clear, we’re on break now!” Marvel exclaims and we all cheer.

"Sustenance." Peeta says heading our way with bags of potato chips. "Yes, Chaff, I know you're a chicken man." He hands out bags of chips before plonking himself down in a wheelchair beside me.

“I for one, I feel euphoric.” Chaff says.

“Same.” Rue agrees.

“Hey, I’m thinking of ditching my management job.” Cecelia announces.

“Really? You’re gonna come back on the floor and work with us?” Rue asks her.

“Yeah. Back where all the good stuff happens.” She smiles and Rue kisses her cheek.

I look next to me at Peeta and smile briefly before looking down at my lap as he smiles at me.

I break away once they’ve got patient’s to check up on and paperwork to fill in and I head down to the nursery. All the tiny and new babies cry, fidget and fuss in their beds and I smile at each and every one of them before I dial Dad’s number.

_“Hi, Katniss, are you all right?” Dad asks as he answers the call._

“Dad, I want to throw Willow a real birthday party. I’ve changed my mind.”

_“Tremendous idea.”_

“I just have a couple of things I need to do first.”

_“I’ll take care of everything.” He assures me. “And text you the details, Ok?”_

“Thanks.”

I settle a few of the babies and head out onto the balcony for some fresh air. I always came here to think when it got too much inside or just when I needed a few moments of peace and clarity. The fresh air and sunshine was what I was craving at the moment and I needed to think through some things.

Peeta appears at my side, leaning against the railing and sighs.

“What an incredible night.” He says.

“Yes.”

“Come on, you can’t really give up obstetrics, can you?” He asks me with a laugh. “Can you?”

I smile before I reply. “No, I don’t think I can.” I admit to him.

He smiles and then frowns slightly. “Listen, Katniss.”

“I was wrong to accuse you of telling my family. I’m so sorry.”

“And I’m really sorry that they found out, but it wasn’t me.”

“Oh, God knows what happened.”

“I would never do anything to make you unhappy.” He assures me.

“I know.”

“Because I love you.” He admits.

“Well, you’ve been a wonderful friend and I hope I haven’t done anything –“

“No, Katniss, please stop saying how good of friends we are. I don’t love you as a friend. I have plenty of friends.” He tells me and looks me deep in the eyes. “I love you.” I don’t know what to say and exhale a deep breath. “I thought I might regret saying that. No fuck it, I don’t. I am completely in love with you. And the other day, I stopped you because I—I didn’t want to take advantage of the situation because it’s just too important… and powerful… for me anyway.” He admits.

I exhale another deep breath and let the emotions pour out. Feel the honesty and the words come to me. “I feel it.” I sob. “I feel the connection between us.” I tell him. “I just haven’t been honest with myself since Thom died, I—I’ve—I’ve ignored my instincts. Because I’ve just been afraid to feel… but I want to—I want to feel.” I tell him, sobbing slightly.

He reaches out for my hand and I slowly reach out for his and we hold each other’s hands, squeezing it for a long while before he wraps an arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple, exhaling against my temple. He holds me in my arms and I relax instantly.

He leaves when we’re called away and I tell him I’ll talk to him later.

“We’re having a birthday for Willow after, bring your sister and niece along.” I tell him with a smile as I exit. I tell him I’ll text him the details.

I collect my things and head on out, driving across town to where I know Henry is.

I step out of my car and make a move towards Henry as he speaks to a few guys.

“Henry!”

The two guys walk away and he walks near me sheepishly, removing his hard hat.

“I’ll make my family back off if you promise not to call me again.” I tell him.

“Yes.” He says. “I’m sorry. I just thought you should know that they all know.”

“Today’s the anniversary of Thom’s death.” I tell him.

“I know, Katniss, I—“

“Shut up. I don’t want your sympathy.” I tell him. “A year ago, something terrible… happened to me. I got through it. And Willow and I are okay. After all that, nothing you’ve done could destroy me. To me, you’re just… you’re nothing.” I exclaim to him, willing myself to not cry over this stupid pathetic man. “Don’t ever contact me again.” I tell him walking away. “And for the sake of Chanel and Preston, and that beautiful new baby, sort yourself out.” I tell him.

I get in my car; not giving him another second of my time and drive off, leaving him in the dust my car kicks up as I drive away.

He was long forgotten now.

I had new things to look forward too.

* * *

 

I spot the colored balloons first when I pull up and smile.

Dad really did it. He pulled this off within a couple of hours.

I sit for a moment, ponder the past year and am thankful for every moment. Especially with Willow.

It’s been a hard year. A rewarding year. A challenging year. But I’m still standing.

I climb out of the car and spot Peeta, Delly and Maisy approaching.

"Hi, Katniss."

"Hi, Delly." I greet her with a smile but turn my attention back to Peeta.

“I think I might just head on inside.” She tells us both smirking, taking the stroller from Peeta and going on in.

“Hi.” I greet Peeta.

“Hi.” He replies with a smile.

We stare at each other before we head on inside. Layla sits on the front step in a fairy’s outfit.

“Oh, Layla! You look wonderful!” I tell her.

“Yeah, it is. I don’t think its fancy dress though?” Peeta says.

“Uh, I know. Uh, this is my costume from when I worked as a party fairy.” She tells us. “I thought the kids might like it.”

“What a lovely idea.” I tell her and turn to Peeta, staring at him for just a little while too long.

“Oh.” She says waving her wand, picking up on the signs with a smirk. “Come in.”

“Hi.” I greet everyone as I step inside.

“Hello, darling.” Mom greets me.

“Hi.” I say, bypassing straight for Willow.

“There’s your birthday girl.” Linden says, handing Willow to me.

“Oh, hello!” I cuddle her and walk towards the yard where the fun is happening. “Oh, look at this, eh?”

“Food and beverages.” Linden tells me. “And baby farm animals we’ve got them until 6.”

“Oh, baby animals! Look, Willow. Do you mind if I take her?” Peeta asks, holding out his hands for her.

“Not at all.” I tell him, handing him Willow.

“Do you want to see some animals?” He asks her. “Of course, you do.” He carries her outside and I turn to Linden.

“I love all this.” I tell him. “Thank you.” I smile. “You all have been the best these last 12 months and I appreciate it so much.”

“No worries.” He says as I embrace him. “Oh, Mom, Dad, Haymitch and Effie had a busy night.”

I turn around to see the four of them discussing something amongst themselves.

“What did you four get up to last night?” I ask them.

“Us?” Dad asks. “Well, sweetheart, um…”

“Well, we just couldn’t stand seeing that Henry get away with what he did to you.” Mom says.

“But we didn’t wanna do anything that might rebound on Henry’s wife.” Haymitch adds.

“Poor woman.” Effie claims.

“So after much discussion about the best symbolic act of revenge… we settled on his car.” Dad tells me.

“And it was my idea to use refried beans from the restaurant.” Haymitch laughs.

“Yes, that paste looked a lot like, um—“

“Poo.” Haymitch says finishing Effie’s sentence. And the four of them laugh.

“Well, that was unnecessary and very childish.” I tell them with a smirk before I walk off.

I smile at Prim who’s in the kitchen making herself a drink and tell her I’m heading outside.

Willow and Peeta are looking at the animals, Willow in absolute awe of them all. She tries to mimic their noises and sounds.

“Wow, look, Willow!” I coo placing her hat on her head.

“Lookin’ good.” Peeta adds, tickling Willow’s side. He naturally fixes her hat and dress and smiles at me as we watch the animals. “Let’s pat the animals.” He suggests.

I take Willow from him a little while later to nurse and sit with Delly under the shade of the big willow tree. Cressida and Madge join us and we all nurse our babies while the older kids play with the animals. Effie approaches Peeta as he stands out near the animal pen and chats with him.

“So, tell me Peeta, where do you fit in all of this?” I hear her ask.

“Oh, I’m, um, not too sure.” He tells her smiling before he smiles at me from across the yard. I smile back him, blushing and turn back to our nursing group.

Willow is done a few minutes later, wishing to be amongst it all and she happily goes back to Peeta, cuddling him as they watch the animals, he carries her into the pen to pat them.

“Come with me.” Prim says, taking my hand. She leads me into our old bedroom.

“I’m sorry.” I tell her.

“I’m sorry too.” She says and we embrace quickly.

“You know, I – I do need you, but I just want you to be happy.”

“I know, I’m not sacrificing my happiness for you. Just… being around for Willow is my happiness. She’s my anchor. Everything else has to float around it.” She tells me.

I nod and feel myself get choked up. “She’s about to turn one.”

“I know.” She nods, tears welling in her eyes.

I reach for her hand and squeeze it. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

She pulls me into her arms, kissing my cheek and embracing me tightly for a few seconds.

The door opens and Linden pokes his head in. “Prim, we need you for a second.”

“Oh.” She says and follows Linden out the door.

I brush the tears away and exhale a deep sigh but find myself smiling through the tears. I finally felt happy. I finally felt I could breathe and do this all on my own.

I step out to join everyone else. Willow is in her highchair at the table eating a snack with Axel in his highchair beside her. Peeta in the kitchen with a beer in hand, holding Maisy in the other.

Prim comes inside with Rory and we’re just as confused as everyone else but we don’t care. Everyone we love is here with us. Here to celebrate the past year of Willow’s life and to celebrate the next year of her life.

They’re also here to remember Thom and the fact that we’re here because of him and his gift that is sitting in that highchair in her pretty party dress.

Mom claps her hands. “Just in time everyone. We’ve just finished Willow’s birthday present, so.” She exclaims and Dad helps her pull a sheet off of her present. A handmade dolls house. “Happy birthday, beautiful girl!”

Willow claps along with everyone else and I embrace her. “It’s extraordinary. Thank you.”

“Look at this, Willow.” Dad exclaims.

Rue pulls me aside by the hand and smiles at me.

“There might be a chance I might be having a baby in 9 months. Will you still be delivering at St. Justice?” She asks.

I feel honored and smile at her. "Yes, Rue, I will."

“Good.” She chuckles and pulls me into her arms, squeezing me tightly.

"That's good to hear actually." Madge says. "Because I'd love for you to deliver Axel's brother or sister." She smiles. "Do you remember how I was telling you I felt exhausted the other day?” I nod. “The stick turned blue the next day.”

“Oh my god, congratulations!” I exclaim, wrapping her in my arms.

"Uh, we don't want to alarm everybody but, uh, the baby animals have got out."

There are exclaims and chatter as everyone moves and tries to get the baby animals back in the pen. But everyone is in complete hysterics and there's all this happiness.

Compared to this time last year when our worlds were shattered despite the impending happiness. Today, I feel great. Today, I still feel like there’s a hole in my heart but it’s repairing itself slowly as the days go on.

And this beautiful girl, she’s mending each and every day.

“Yes, Willow. This is your family. And it’s always gonna be like this.” I tell her, brushing her hair away from her forehead laughing. “Happy birthday.” I kiss her forehead.

“All right, photo time.” Linden announces. "Let's do it now before the kids go into sugar meltdown."

Prim grabs Willow for me and I go and stand where we’re getting our photo taken. Peeta walks towards me nervously.

“Hey, I’ll just sit out for this one.” He informs me.

“Just be in it.” I tell him with a grin.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” I tell him.

We look at each other, briefly smiling before we kiss briefly. I grab his collar and press myself into him, inhaling his aftershave. I can pick up hints of cinnamon and sugar too and I smile.

“Let’s just jump in. See what happens.” I suggest, taking his hand and leading him to the front of the group.

“Do you realize that Katniss delivered all these kids?” Linden points out as he fixes the camera.

“She did.” They all agree.

“I delivered Willow!” Chaff states.

“You did.” I tell him. “I almost thought it was going to be Prim delivering her.”

Prim hands me Willow and I place her on my lap. Everyone squishes in, ensuring all the kids are seen as well as the adults. There’s over thirty of us squished in for this photo to celebrate Willow’s first birthday. To celebrate all those who’ve been in our lives for the last twelve months.

“Here we go.” I tell Willow. “Get ready for a photo.”

Peeta kneels beside me, Maisy on his knee. He smiles at Willow and I smile at him. Smile at how loving he is towards my daughter. How much he loves her. He looks up from Willow, blushing that he’s been caught and then smiles at me. I lean over, kissing him quickly.

“Everybody ready?” Linden asks.

I turn away from Peeta and face the camera.

“Yes, ready.” I tell him.

He sets the self-timer and ducks in front of me with Hunter sitting in front of him.

Everyone is all smiles, giggles, and laughter and I feel at peace as we pose for photos.

I feel a sudden warmth and look towards the hallway.

There he stands, Thom looking as beautiful as ever in white. His hair is beautifully styled and he has a smile on his face as he looks at our daughter.

We share a look and I can see all the emotions he is feeling. Love, sadness, and happiness.

He mostly looks proud.

I smile at him and he nods, encouraging me to go on. Giving me his blessing. But reminding me he won’t be far away if I ever need him.

But I know, I’ll be fine without him.

I smile and turn back to the camera as everyone cheers for the final photo, the camera beeps and the flash goes off three times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of Get Some. I know it's been a rough ride but I'm happy with how things have ended and I definitely will have a follow up as a separate story. I can't get over the cuteness of Peeta and Willow and want Peeta and Katniss to grow together as a couple and work out the kinks and just be happy together.
> 
> There's no immediate plans yet for a follow up but hopefully sometime within the new year I will begin writing.
> 
> Thanks for sticking it out and always commenting and showing me love. It really inspires us writers to continue writing for you all. We don't get paid for what we do and all do it for the love and passion we have. If we don't have the love returned we usually find ourselves uninspired and don't return to our stories. 
> 
> I'll leave it for now and you can find me over on tumblr as Herainab
> 
> Happy Holidays to everyone too!


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